Dom

[ad****]

I’m quite a passive, diplomatic people pleaser by day - so it’s been great for to find this release and energy in the bedroom

[TheRigger]

3 minutes ago, adammmmm- said:

My view is that, even in D/S dynamics - the sub is actually in control if they are letting you dominate. Talk about consent beforehand, and what the boundaries are - which are firm, and which can be bent. They have safe words etc. So I would recommend find a sub you can explore it with, and learn from them and their experience. You’ll find elements you lean in to, and aspects that you don’t. Then you’ll find a dom style that feels natural to you. This is how it played out for me

Totally agree. On reflection one further point stop worrying about - start exploring, experimenting and letting your Dom personality flourish in and out brdroom

[ey****]

Dominant IRL <> Dominant in Bedroom or D/s

From there

Like what elements about being a Dom, or why you want to be a Dom, appeal to you.

Whether this is 'just' play, whether this is structure and leadership, so on so forth

If it's like "Oh, well I really want to flog someone" cool, plenty of classes, videos, info on advice about floggers and how to mitigate risk.   Maybe that's not for you, also fine

But there's a huge issue at times of people who feel they should/could be Dominants but have no idea what that means to themselves or others, and finding out what that might look like for you is an important first step 

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Dominant IRL <> Dominant in Bedroom or D/s

From there

Like what elements about being a Dom, or why you want to be a Dom, appeal to you.

Whether this is 'just' play, whether this is structure and leadership, so on so forth

If it's like "Oh, well I really want to flog someone" cool, plenty of classes, videos, info on advice about floggers and how to mitigate risk.   Maybe that's not for you, also fine

But there's a huge issue at times of people who feel they should/could be Dominants but have no idea what that means to themselves or others, and finding out what that might look like for you is an important first step 

this is great advice!

[Laycette]

Go to munches and events, talk to others, learn the art. And, experiment, do what works for you.

[Deleted Member]

Tuesday at 04:47 AM, theegyptianking said:

Why is the word the***utic censored ?

Type of out and look at the word spelled that is blocked out 😉

[Fe****]

So, just food for thought, I am very dominant in my everyday life. However, in the bedroom, I am submissive.

If you haven't already, it might be a good idea if take the long test on BDSMTest.Org ♥️

[Ma****]

August 4, TheRigger said:

Old Dom here.

My experience a sub will submit if they feel safe, there is a level of trust, limits are respected, agreed upon and never pushed.

Can you demonstrate genuine after care? This is a biggy. Take care of your sub when she needs a cuddle.

Treat her like a princess (or in a way that makes her feel special) and you may get the slut at night - not guaranteed.

When it comes to the bedroom if you get the above in place, the bedroom activities will come naturally. This will expand and grow as you get to know each other, what works what don't, what gives you mutual kick, discovery soft and hard limits, etc. Allow this to grow organically - don't push it, learn to read the subs body, mind and signals. Safe words can be a big help.

Read the book: "Why men don't listen, and woman can't read maps" by Alan and Barbara Pease

Remember:
Submission is a gift, that can be taken away

Dominant is not domination and submission is not subservient.

Hope that helps.

Fantastic book, far more meaningful and thoroughly supported than the better known Mars and Venus books of the same era.

Great to see someone else recommend it, they also wrote a sequel I need to read...