Kink vs fetish, where do you draw the line?

[Mi****]

People use these two words like they mean the same thing and I don't think they do.

For me a kink is something you enjoy but don't need. Take it away and sex still works, just less fun. A fetish is something you need or you're not finishing. Take it away and the engine doesn't spark, well for me at least...

And a fetish doesn't have to be feet, or an object, or even a body part. Mine is her reactions. The face she makes, her belly when the breathing s***ds up, watching her slowly come undone. Nothing gets me there faster, and without it I just don't get there at all. I love a brat, but the bratting is the kink, fun and optional. Watching her unwind is the part I actually need.

So where do you draw the line? Or are the two words just the same thing at this point?

[Ba****]

Kink = Want 🤪
Fetish = Need 😈

[Pr****]

I agree with your assessment, though some people might not. Opinions are like butts, we all have one.

[De****]

Fetish is an object. Kink is an act.

Foot fetish
Latex fetish
Shoe fetish

Bondage kink
Pegging kink
Submissive kink

[To****]

I get what you mean, but I think the “need it to finish = fetish” definition is a bit too strict. You can have a fetish without being completely unable to orgasm without it

For me, the difference is more about how central it is to your arousal. A kink adds something to the experience, while a fetish can become a much deeper part of what turns you on

And I agree, it doesn’t have to be an object or body part. It can be a reaction, a feeling, or even a dynamic between two people

I guess the interesting part is where “I really enjoy this” becomes “this is a big part of what I need to feel aroused”

[to****]

For me a kink which I personally like is bondeage cuffed up and used by my man friend whomever I'm with a fetish is dressing like a woman for a man to enjoy for me anyway obviously we're all different

[th****]

5 hours ago, Deelulu said:

Fetish is an object. Kink is an act.

Foot fetish
Latex fetish
Shoe fetish

Bondage kink
Pegging kink
Submissive kink

Well put

[Sa****]

I honestly can't figure out the difference tbh

[Sa****]

7 hours ago, Deelulu said:

Fetish is an object. Kink is an act.

Foot fetish
Latex fetish
Shoe fetish

Bondage kink
Pegging kink
Submissive kink

Then I guess I don't have any kinks

[Sa****]

I guess I don't really care if it's a kink or fetish. Whenever people on here ask my kinks,I simply just tell them what I enjoy and let them decide what to call it. So I might be just listing fetishes but I realIy don't care what it's called. I know what I enjoy and that's all that personally matters to me

[ey****]

So, yeah. People tend to use them interchangeably

Is there a difference, yep. But part of the reason they became interchangeable is over time the term/scope fetsih diluted anyway. And actually some things which are kinks can be argued to be fetishes and vice versa.

Traditionally for something to be a fetish it had to (a) be a non-sexual item - so shoes, leather, feet (b) something the person with the fetish either could not orgasm, or could not get aroused, without

It sounds overly strict, but that was the definitation and yes it was a kinda outlier of people who were (and probably still are) in this situation

Over time... it kinda softened a little bit to encompass anything which was non-sexual which could cause or heighten arousal/orgasm and that does encompass a lot more people.

A kink, traditionally, was an intimate behaviour or activity outside of societal norms.   Phew. That's a mouthful.  So bondage got brought up, and yes that is a good example of a kink.

However... if someone could only get aroused when in bondage, or being in bondage heightened their orgasm is that, ummm... that then becomes a fetish

I mean feet, foot fetish is a fairly common fetish - but some people aren't into feet as a fetish but still might do footplay (cos it is a good form of foreplay) so does that then make it a kink?

And then let us not forget about anyone who argues that (for them) BDSM is non-sexual.  That means anything they do is a kink - intimate behaviour/activity - but not around arousal or orgasm

So part the reason they become so interchangeable is (1) the change of language over time (2) that the self same activity might be a fetish for one person, but a kink for someone else

 

Mind, by either definition - an unfortunate bad news - given it is both a sexual item and within societal norms... "Pussy Eating" is neither a fetish nor a kink  

[Sa****]

3 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

So, yeah. People tend to use them interchangeably

Is there a difference, yep. But part of the reason they became interchangeable is over time the term/scope fetsih diluted anyway. And actually some things which are kinks can be argued to be fetishes and vice versa.

Traditionally for something to be a fetish it had to (a) be a non-sexual item - so shoes, leather, feet (b) something the person with the fetish either could not orgasm, or could not get aroused, without

It sounds overly strict, but that was the definitation and yes it was a kinda outlier of people who were (and probably still are) in this situation

Over time... it kinda softened a little bit to encompass anything which was non-sexual which could cause or heighten arousal/orgasm and that does encompass a lot more people.

A kink, traditionally, was an intimate behaviour or activity outside of societal norms.   Phew. That's a mouthful.  So bondage got brought up, and yes that is a good example of a kink.

However... if someone could only get aroused when in bondage, or being in bondage heightened their orgasm is that, ummm... that then becomes a fetish

I mean feet, foot fetish is a fairly common fetish - but some people aren't into feet as a fetish but still might do footplay (cos it is a good form of foreplay) so does that then make it a kink?

And then let us not forget about anyone who argues that (for them) BDSM is non-sexual.  That means anything they do is a kink - intimate behaviour/activity - but not around arousal or orgasm

So part the reason they become so interchangeable is (1) the change of language over time (2) that the self same activity might be a fetish for one person, but a kink for someone else

 

Mind, by either definition - an unfortunate bad news - given it is both a sexual item and within societal norms... "Pussy Eating" is neither a fetish nor a kink  

I don't follow this at all 😭