Neurospicy Kinksters check in!

[Ki****]

I am struggling with a bout of feeling lonely and isolated again. It got me thinking about the struggle NDs not only face in everyday life, but also in the kink world.

What is one thing you’ve noticed is a struggle for you in the kink world?

Mine is people perceiving that I mean something beyond exactly what I said. And that when I get the ick for someone, it’s absolute.

Like yes FetChad you’re hot and and seem kind, but you just said “yummy” so I’m going to need you to never speak to me again 😬😬🤣🤷‍♀️

[Gr****]

I think for me, the ick thing speaks to me so much! I find often that I have to just step away from people when it feels like I've been "icked"

[St****]

Lmao I mean his name is FetChad auto ick 😹

[Gr****]

Just now, StandOnMe said:

Lmao I mean his name is FetChad auto ick 😹

😂😂😂

[Da****]

You can’t stop people from making their facts about you based on what you said . Most of the time any overthinking is their own reflection of their life over your words .
Personally I sometimes overshare and it comes across overwhelming , but I have started to not give a toss.

[Cumfotablyhung]

I think we all make far too many assumptions about people before ever having a conversation with them. My assumptions are usually at least a little off about other people, I have to assume the same goes for people thinking of me. I think we all need to remember that people are complicated and try to slow the world down a bit from time to time

[Fe****]

I am autistic and often miss "the point". But sometimes I get it! 😘

[ni****]

Judging someone for saying "yummy" gave me the ick.

[Sa****]

Oh fetCHAD ? I know him as well unfortunately 😭

[Fr****]

Idk what to add onto here. But it is an ick when they only reply with one to 4 words and not more, I can excuse the first few messages because people can be shy, but not afterwards. They barley put any effort into the messages, I feel like that collate to how they would treat me, plus most of the time its someone who wants to do cyber fun. And don't get me started on the ones who are instantly, or almost instantly sexual. Its weird how people act on this app.

[he****]

11 minutes ago, Fruitful-Kit said:

Idk what to add onto here. But it is an ick when they only reply with one to 4 words and not more, I can excuse the first few messages because people can be shy, but not afterwards. They barley put any effort into the messages, I feel like that collate to how they would treat me, plus most of the time its someone who wants to do cyber fun. And don't get me started on the ones who are instantly, or almost instantly sexual. Its weird how people act on this app.

I mean.. it is a platform centered around fetishes lol

[Fr****]

11 minutes ago, heisenbae said:

I mean.. it is a platform centered around fetishes lol

Wow reallt who would have guessed the platform for fetishist have weird people on it!! Wow such a surprise 😒. Doesn't excuse them being sexual, sending dick picks, people being weird, ect, with in seconds of messaging unless the other person gives off that vibe, and says its okay, they shouldnt be being weird, hell my my profile doesnt give off that vibe of me being instantly okay with people being disrespectful and sending dick pics and others. Its a fetish site, but one with REAL PEOPLE USING.

[Ki****]

9 hours ago, Gr8BrwnWnder said:

I think for me, the ick thing speaks to me so much! I find often that I have to just step away from people when it feels like I've been "icked"

Yes! Like once it’s there, I just can’t

[Ki****]

8 hours ago, StandOnMe said:

Lmao I mean his name is FetChad auto ick 😹

The femme creators on another platform call creeps fetchad all the time and I crack up every time 🤣

[Ki****]

7 hours ago, Dave-Lothbrok said:

You can’t stop people from making their facts about you based on what you said . Most of the time any overthinking is their own reflection of their life over your words .
Personally I sometimes overshare and it comes across overwhelming , but I have started to not give a toss.

I love this perspective! And when it comes to strangers I don’t care either typically. But when it’s ppl in our local kink community that I’m fond of, friends, or partners, it’s a bit more frustrating

[Ki****]

4 hours ago, nickfrostig said:

Judging someone for saying "yummy" gave me the ick.

First off I was being blatantly dramatic, which most seemed to understand. Secondly, I find it creepy when someone uses food descriptors to refer to my body. It’s objectifying. I usually will ask someone the first time, not to that, after that i have the ick. Having preferences and boundaries , isn’t judgemental

[Ki****]

3 hours ago, SassyGRUNGEgiRL26 said:

Oh fetCHAD ? I know him as well unfortunately 😭

He’s such a creep 😩

[Ki****]

34 minutes ago, Fruitful-Kit said:

Idk what to add onto here. But it is an ick when they only reply with one to 4 words and not more, I can excuse the first few messages because people can be shy, but not afterwards. They barley put any effort into the messages, I feel like that collate to how they would treat me, plus most of the time its someone who wants to do cyber fun. And don't get me started on the ones who are instantly, or almost instantly sexual. Its weird how people act on this app.

Yes yes yes 👏 🗣️ 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[Ki****]

23 minutes ago, heisenbae said:

I mean.. it is a platform centered around fetishes lol

Consent is still required in kink spaces, it’s actually mandatory

[Ki****]

13 minutes ago, Fruitful-Kit said:

Wow reallt who would have guessed the platform for fetishist have weird people on it!! Wow such a surprise 😒. Doesn't excuse them being sexual, sending dick picks, people being weird, ect, with in seconds of messaging unless the other person gives off that vibe, and says its okay, they shouldnt be being weird, hell my my profile doesnt give off that vibe of me being instantly okay with people being disrespectful and sending dick pics and others. Its a fetish site, but one with REAL PEOPLE USING.

👏👏👏👏👏🗣️🗣️🗣️ preach! Consent is required in kink spaces! Hell it’s MANDATORY

[Ki****]

Huge shout out to all of you that joined in the conversation and were on topic, and not being an ass 🫶🫶

[ey****]

1 hour ago, heisenbae said:

 

I mean.. it is a platform centered around fetishes lol

Which is something that brings important things.

Firstly - one of the primary pillars in kink/bdsm/fetish is consent - and so generally springing anything overly sexual too quickly is not consensual and goes against the primary pillars.

Neurodivergence is an umberella term which covers an awful lot of things - but for example someone with autistic traits in particular can often rely on patterns or predictability. That means that if a rule makes no sense, they are more likely to ignore it - but when a rule makes perfect sense, especially one which leads to creating a predictable/safe structure - they are more likely to respond negatively if someone breaks this rule or social contract.    

So while pushing for sexual talk too quickly in a message exchange can be a turn off to the best of people; doing it with someone who is, for example, autistic is far more likely to result in them no longer wishing to partake in the conversation because you have broken a very basic rule of consent and they haven't found that forgiveable. 

(as a side note, a lot of people who are autistic like to partake in kink because of rules, boundaries and structure. But they have to make sense.)

[Ki****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Which is something that brings important things.

Firstly - one of the primary pillars in kink/bdsm/fetish is consent - and so generally springing anything overly sexual too quickly is not consensual and goes against the primary pillars.

Neurodivergence is an umberella term which covers an awful lot of things - but for example someone with autistic traits in particular can often rely on patterns or predictability. That means that if a rule makes no sense, they are more likely to ignore it - but when a rule makes perfect sense, especially one which leads to creating a predictable/safe structure - they are more likely to respond negatively if someone breaks this rule or social contract.    

So while pushing for sexual talk too quickly in a message exchange can be a turn off to the best of people; doing it with someone who is, for example, autistic is far more likely to result in them no longer wishing to partake in the conversation because you have broken a very basic rule of consent and they haven't found that forgiveable. 

(as a side note, a lot of people who are autistic like to partake in kink because of rules, boundaries and structure. But they have to make sense.)

This was a beautiful example and explanation 🫶

[Co****]

I can't relate to this because I'm new to the app but I mean as a neurospicy individual myself I feel like it's hard for me to find someone who would accept me for who I am

[Ki****]

6 minutes ago, brick123 said:

I can't relate to this because I'm new to the app but I mean as a neurospicy individual myself I feel like it's hard for me to find someone who would accept me for who I am

This refers to all kink spaces in general not just this app! But if you are new to the lifestyle, you should check out Fetlife it’s much easier to find local events, like munches, etc. I mainly use this app for the treasure hunt (because I’m a dork) and for dating (which has been very unpleasant and unsuccessful.)

I struggle with that as well, and due to burnout I have very limited masking ability. So I pretty much just stay to myself, and my partners