Non bdsm profikes

[pc****]

6 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

you want to talk unhelpful and disrespectful? Here's the problem

You barge in "Hi, I'm new - I have done absolutely no learning of my own and now everyone needs to look at me, make it all about me, give me attention, and teach me all the things I am too fucking lazy to do any real research on myself" 

This is why you're getting no responses. This is why no one is engaging with you privately. You are lazy, entitled and obnoxious. That you are not getting what you want is 100% down to you.

No one owes you time. No one owes you attention. No one owes you teaching.  You're supposed to be an adult. Act like one.

NO SHART.. I never asked for ANY of that, but I never asked For IMMEDIATE disrespect upon downloading the platform 😂. Yap all you want, you are literally making a story in your head about me you weirdo.. YOU DONT KNOW ME 🤣. Go play with someone who cares about your opinion and is willing to take you seriously, cause it’s not me. 👋

[pc****]

7 hours ago, Zis said:

Im confused...you said, all the old people are just rude and wanna sit in their caves and kepping their secrets. Sooo, do you want to play with us, or not? If we are not what you are looking for, whats the problem?

The problem is the scammers and OF fakers.. that’s what my original comment was about until yall wanted to get all hostile and butt hurt and make it about “people who don’t belong”. If this app is what it advertised, it’s literally made for people who don’t fit in or belong.. here I am.. so far I’ve only seen scammers and just nothing that interests me besides the stories and writings. Not to shame or be any sort of way, it’s Literally just nothing for me. That doesn’t mean that I have to stop looking because you or anyone else told me to. And I do apologize, I realize how disrespectful the “cave” comment was. I apologize. I actually think they’re kinda cool.

[pc****]

7 hours ago, Zis said:

Im confused...you said, all the old people are just rude and wanna sit in their caves and kepping their secrets. Sooo, do you want to play with us, or not? If we are not what you are looking for, whats the problem?

See, like.. just went through a few profiles.. all I see are people searching for Male Subs.. that’s just not me. But according to you and your friend, I should stop looking then?.. I don’t understand.. 🤷‍♂️ Just my opinion of course. Never meant to cause trouble except for that black sheep fella. Seems to think he can control others & I don’t appreciate it.

[Zis]

Saturday at 11:28 PM, Zis said:

Ok, ignore the angry people!😉
Kinky is a spectrum and you dont have to love all the kinks. Someone likes a little spank or dirty words and the other one wants to be human toilet. No shame here or deviding in groups like snobs.

"We all want to get hostile and make people not belong here"?
@pcnoob What the...? So, if we are all scammers and not interesting, im asking again: where is the problem? Nobody throws you out or blocks you from any information about bdsm. Reas it, use it and discuss it with us. But at this point, why should i, for example, try to explain my world to you, when you have done nothing then shaming me without even knowing me?

[Zis]

Where did i say, you should stop looking for your match?

[ey****]

OK, so you're not a sub. No problem.   We've established that.   I had a little look at your profile to try to see what you were looking for and.... yep, you don't know. That's fair. That's fine. Folk start somewhere.  We've also established you've no interested in being a sub.

I also imagine given you haven't anything listed that you don't have a specific fetish. Also fair.

So, kinda what brought you here. What might you think you're looking for.   I'm not being an arse when I say that like... if you don't know, no one else can do it for you.   Also, kinda as hard as it might seem, folk tend to have little interest being someone's experiment while you work out what you're even into

So if not a sub... are you Dominant? In which case, yep, you should research what that means to you.  Or maybe you're not really either and just like the idea of "kinky sex" in which case, again, what does that look like to you...?    Nobody can work this out for you, and sadly all you're gonna get is ignored messages or ones which go nowhere when they work out it's a dead end.

But as you have said frequently - nothing on this site has interested you, so I don't again mean this to be arse when I say - are you actually wasting your own time being here?  Like if you're not interested, you aren't getting anywhere, too many "fakes and scammers" and so on.

This doesn't mean "stop looking" it means, maybe, is here the best place for you to look? Or... do you need some time to figure out what you're actually looking for, before you reach out and well look?

[pc****]

11 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

OK, so you're not a sub. No problem.   We've established that.   I had a little look at your profile to try to see what you were looking for and.... yep, you don't know. That's fair. That's fine. Folk start somewhere.  We've also established you've no interested in being a sub.

I also imagine given you haven't anything listed that you don't have a specific fetish. Also fair.

So, kinda what brought you here. What might you think you're looking for.   I'm not being an arse when I say that like... if you don't know, no one else can do it for you.   Also, kinda as hard as it might seem, folk tend to have little interest being someone's experiment while you work out what you're even into

So if not a sub... are you Dominant? In which case, yep, you should research what that means to you.  Or maybe you're not really either and just like the idea of "kinky sex" in which case, again, what does that look like to you...?    Nobody can work this out for you, and sadly all you're gonna get is ignored messages or ones which go nowhere when they work out it's a dead end.

But as you have said frequently - nothing on this site has interested you, so I don't again mean this to be arse when I say - are you actually wasting your own time being here?  Like if you're not interested, you aren't getting anywhere, too many "fakes and scammers" and so on.

This doesn't mean "stop looking" it means, maybe, is here the best place for you to look? Or... do you need some time to figure out what you're actually looking for, before you reach out and well look?

Brother.. that’s what I’m trying to do.. I know I like ***, I know I might be into punishing, but beyond that I haven’t been able to have any real life experience with it. My original statement was STRICTLY on the fake accounts, Never did I say all.. @@zis.. nbsp;I said so far my experience has been fake accounts. You’re saying I have no posts, cause I’m not entirely sure how + I don’t know how to ask for what I’m looking for. You guys Immediately went to “ you people don’t belong” & “you’re too vanilla” is basically the vibe you’re throwing out there. Stop bothering people and trying to backtrack, you said what you said and I stand behind what I said. I said nothing wrong besides the insults, which I did and do apologize for. I don’t like being told what to do and Especially don’t like being told I don’t belong in a literal website for outcasts.. do you not see how wild that is? Just because I don’t Currently know Exactly what I want, does not mean I don’t deserve to be able to make an account and try to explore. Have a good day. 👍👋

[pc****]

28 minutes ago, Zis said:

Where did i say, you should stop looking for your match?

You’re literally implying it, I also never said everyone. Since I need to spell everything out for everyone, I said most of who I have experienced were bots. Obviously annoying, but whatever, they’re on all dating sites. You are right, I was angry and expressed it improperly. I apologized, but you are more than welcome to not forgive. I don’t care. I tried to be nice and apologize already. You have a good day as well, stop bothering people 👍👋

[Zis]

2 minutes ago, pcnoob said:

You’re literally implying it, I also never said everyone. Since I need to spell everything out for everyone, I said most of who I have experienced were bots. Obviously annoying, but whatever, they’re on all dating sites. You are right, I was angry and expressed it improperly. I apologized, but you are more than welcome to not forgive. I don’t care. I tried to be nice and apologize already. You have a good day as well, stop bothering people 👍👋

..."stop bothering people"...sorry, that i tried to solve it with you. All the best

[PresentisPeculiar]

13 hours ago, Zis said:

Im confused...you said, all the old people are just rude and wanna sit in their caves and kepping their secrets. Sooo, do you want to play with us, or not? If we are not what you are looking for, whats the problem?

This is a text book example of what so many have said...people take awful approaches, think lashing out is alpha or something, apply anecdotal evidence to conclude everyone else either agrees or is causing the problem despite plenty of evidence offered to the contrary, silos those that disagree into an age band to discount, then gets feelz when that group doesn't feel the need to olay nice anymore. Never once gazing upon a mirror and asking "do i have recurring issues with both personal and societal relationships where I find others to blame for myriad reasons for lack of connection, then lash out when it's pointed out to me?'

[ey****]

18 hours ago, pcnoob said:

You guys Immediately went to “ you people don’t belong” & “you’re too vanilla” is basically the vibe you’re throwing out there.

One of the problems the kink community sometimes has is, well, tourists.   Which while I shouldn't have to explain, I am not saying you are, or aren't.  And these sign up for websites - they sometimes even attempt to show up to events, but they have no overall interest. Their motives are everywhere between a kinda voyuerism, but not in a consensual way - to actual predatory, to the kinda "kink = easy" and the hope someone will bite.  

This was the type of person folk like Laycette, and myself, and others were referring to.  And yes, they don't belong within the community.  

This isn't for people who are genuinely curious, or exploring or interested in learning to take offence to.  Like, getting overly defensive when you should be able to see this isn't you (or, maybe it is? I dunno) sounds like a problem with your own insecurities rather than anything else and something you may need to work on.

18 hours ago, pcnoob said:

a literal website for outcasts

Fetish communities aren't "outcasts" - it's not a protected charecteristic and while there are risks associated with the lifestyle, most folk are, well, "regular people" 

As you are also a cis het white dude, you're not an outcast either - even it feels like you don't fit in - the question is then why don't you fit in to other places? As much as that might suck - the "find your people" might not be here.  It also for the sake of spelling it out, MIGHT be here, but honestly if you're having problems connecting with people you might need to look inwards.

18 hours ago, pcnoob said:

my experience has been fake accounts

Which I can also sympathise with, and yep, on one hand fake accounts are a huge issue on all dating-based sites unfortunately.  I very rarely get contacted by fakes/scammers -  usually one every few months. I feel of course they are more likely to target someone new/naive because of course if someone hasn't had time to learn some basics then someone offering them the world for a price can be pickings.

But most don't reach out. Cos that flags a lot of systems. So most wait and let people come to them.   So if you sign up and message a lot of people... why the 'real' people don't reply can be many reasons including the quality of your message, they haven't been online, that they're just not interested, or they've seen your forum posts, however - yeah, the scammers ALWAYS reply

Like, as well - if your current position is "I'm new, I don't know what I want, help/teach me" - there's nothing wrong with wanting to explore but a lot of people will see you as being extra work, or feel they are being treat as an experiment, which is less desirable with someone who is a stranger.  The whole online dating thing is hard, but there's stuff which ends up making things harder.

Perhaps at the minute taking time to learn and slowly make friends might suit you more.  

 

And I guess that is also transferable to anyone who is new, curious, etc. focus on friends and slowly learning in your own space rather than making your curiousity someone else's problem