Brat Question

[ne****]

So I’m kinda new to this… and i really need ideas for when my dom tells me to think of my own punishment 🥲 When he asks I always just blank 😂

[Deleted Member]

Does he always ask you to come up with your punishment? Sounds like a lazy/unimaginative dom…

[Cr****]

You don't come up with your punishment your dom should be responsible for that!

[FuegoGoddess]

What do you like? Start there

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, Crystallswi said:

You don't come up with your punishment your dom should be responsible for that!

Sometimes it’s valuable to get input from your sub but if they’re coming up with the punishments all of the time, what function does the dom hold other than a mere administrator of punishment?

[Fu****]

Yeah that just sounds like they dont know what they are doing

[Ne****]

I would expect to know a subs boundaries & hard limits and then just work within them...

[Ve****]

Sounds like another fake dom.

[da****]

Not a real dom.

[Pe****]

That’s not fun for me. If I’m punishing myself then wtf are you doing!?

[M_****]

If you want to be really bratty, tease them until they finally decide to come up with their own punishment

[wa****]

*** or pleasure are 2 ways to think about it

[Th****]

How bratty do you want to be? You could tell him things that you really like, you could say that you don't deserve punishments, you could have such fun!

[Mr****]

new-york33290, you probably wont get much advice here as you and your Dom are clearly being looked down on. You said you're new to this, and I expect your Dom is new to D/s as well.

I'll provide advice for both of you, as well as, provide you with informative resources and links to explore your new found kinks.

You want to please him with out looking stupid and get that praise/care after punishment? Message me directly.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, MrFluffyAlien said:

new-york33290, you probably wont get much advice here as you and your Dom are clearly being looked down on. You said you're new to this, and I expect your Dom is new to D/s as well.

I'll provide advice for both of you, as well as, provide you with informative resources and links to explore your new found kinks.

You want to please him with out looking stupid and get that praise/care after punishment? Message me directly.

I’m looking down on the dom if he is always asking her to come up with her own punishment, but I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt by saying it’s fine if he asks now and then.

Your post comes off condescending, as though you’re looking down on everyone contributing to this forum post, in order to engage the OP in her DMs.

While I’m assuming you have lots of great advice, it feels a little self serving and suspicious of you to push it into a private conversation while simultaneously besmirching everyone else in this forum post.

Be better before you throw shit at anyone else.

[Th****]

8 minutes ago, MrFluffyAlien said:

new-york33290, you probably wont get much advice here as you and your Dom are clearly being looked down on. You said you're new to this, and I expect your Dom is new to D/s as well.

I'll provide advice for both of you, as well as, provide you with informative resources and links to explore your new found kinks.

You want to please him with out looking stupid and get that praise/care after punishment? Message me directly.

Now that's some red flag behaviour right there. If you have positive things to share then why not do so in public? This has all the hallmarks of a man in a white van with "free puppies" ***ted badly on the side

[Mr****]

13 minutes ago, GreyFox87 said:

I’m looking down on the dom if he is always asking her to come up with her own punishment, but I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt by saying it’s fine if he asks now and then.

Your post comes off condescending, as though you’re looking down on everyone contributing to this forum post, in order to engage the OP in her DMs.

While I’m assuming you have lots of great advice, it feels a little self serving and suspicious of you to push it into a private conversation while simultaneously besmirching everyone else in this forum post.

Be better before you throw shit at anyone else.

It's always the one's that take it personally...😏 Ease up buttercup you're not my focus here, the fact I have to put you in your place now takes away from the topic of this thread. My message is for new-york33290, not a soap box for you to stand on. It's not your question nor your thread, and my reasons for inviting them to DMs is for easier communication, for both of them, obviously. Your assumptions are merely a reflection of your own insecurities or feelings, don't assume mine, you'll likely be wrong and only make a fool of yourself. Be better and think before you act. Otherwise, you're shoveling that "shit" it on yourself.

[Re****]

I agree Not a Real Master!!!!!

[ey****]

I have somewhat of a different take here.

Being asked to pick your own punishment is in itself a punishment.   Because it is a headfuck.   The temptation to go "ahahah - ice cream would be a punishment" is one more likely to get you in deeper trouble (or, well, there's terrible things can be done with ice cream) and thinking of things you feel is proportional might seem scary (I dunno... caning, six strokes, eek... that might hurt) 

Also to a kinda degree, I think some of this is a good conversation on consent especially when working out together what is a suitable punishment for different levels of misdeamenour. While yep, ideas on likes/dislikes/etc are always important up front, in reality how this plays out might be more hybrid - a lot also depends on the experience levels of the Dominant (and, for all the Dommly Doms. You were new once...) and even if they're super experienced I think this kinda headfuck is far better than just doing somehting which not only puts off bratting, but puts off the relationship in general 

Perhaps when not on-the-spot you should have conversations on what constitutes as a good punishment and what triggers it. Perhaps half jokingly half seriously saying you don't like being put on the spot to pick a punishment so some bits needs to be agreed.

[Ne****]

Not fake but still evolving....

[Bm****]

Performance anxiety will often make you blank, its like getting up to talk to a crowd of people. Even if you prepared, and have ideas, you can blank out. Its the stress of the situation and being put on the spot. You want to give the best answer but vapor lock - what if it seems dumb, or too easy, or too hard?

We are often harder on ourselves than others would be, it's a good way to see what your limits are, especially if you unknowingly express a punishment harsher than the dom had planned.

[Mr****]

41 minutes ago, TheCalmDominant said:

Now that's some red flag behaviour right there. If you have positive things to share then why not do so in public? This has all the hallmarks of a man in a white van with "free puppies" ***ted badly on the side

Sure, step into my van, pickup a puppy, sit the fuck down and learn something. 13+ responders and only 3 have maybe provided something vaguely worthwhile, the OP hasn't responded to anything here. I can share a thousand things on this thread, but if the OP isn't wanting to talk on the thread, it's not worth my time. I have opened the door to an alternative, I'm not being secretive. Establishing a DM conversation is just easier communication, and may be preferable for someone new to this, you calling it a red flag is your own point of view ***d into a situation of innumerable unknowns. As I said to the other guy, it's not your soap box.I won't sit here and accept poor interpretation of my message either.

So, for some clarity, since you want to act like you know something you don't.

I'd like to establish a line to both her and her dom, as I stated in my post. This is to listen to what all they're trying and what they want to do. Messaging it all here in the thread is fine, however you'll get a lot of peanut gallery responses and unhelpful individuals that just aren't here for anything positive, like people saying "Not a real dom." "Come here." So yeah, DMs.

[Ve****]

Yes. It’s so pathetic the fake doms up in here make me throw up a little in my mouth.

[Mr****]

7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I have somewhat of a different take here.

Being asked to pick your own punishment is in itself a punishment.   Because it is a headfuck.   The temptation to go "ahahah - ice cream would be a punishment" is one more likely to get you in deeper trouble (or, well, there's terrible things can be done with ice cream) and thinking of things you feel is proportional might seem scary (I dunno... caning, six strokes, eek... that might hurt) 

Also to a kinda degree, I think some of this is a good conversation on consent especially when working out together what is a suitable punishment for different levels of misdeamenour. While yep, ideas on likes/dislikes/etc are always important up front, in reality how this plays out might be more hybrid - a lot also depends on the experience levels of the Dominant (and, for all the Dommly Doms. You were new once...) and even if they're super experienced I think this kinda headfuck is far better than just doing somehting which not only puts off bratting, but puts off the relationship in general 

Perhaps when not on-the-spot you should have conversations on what constitutes as a good punishment and what triggers it. Perhaps half jokingly half seriously saying you don't like being put on the spot to pick a punishment so some bits needs to be agreed.

This is productive, well said.

[li****]

I would say it depends on what the bratty behavior is and what your limits are. I haven't experienced these yet, so i can't speak from experience. They are from books I have read and I read ddlg books...so most of my ideas are leaning towards that. So, it is a bit bias. Just please make sure whatever you pick isn't something either of you feels crosses a boundary line.

***Always use safe words!!! Even during a punishment***

Just some quick things that come to mind, depending on what your "crime" was:
- there is the obvious one of spanking
_after spanking, placed in corner
- spanked with a different object you haven't tried before (start with small amount of time)
- pussy slaps
- writing lines
- wearing a diaper (or ***d to use one)
- he gets to cum before you
- anal sex (or plugs)
- oral pleasure given to him or not given to you
- No panties for "X" amount of time
- free use for an "X" amount of time (sex when he chooses)
- no cuming for an "X" amount of time
- eating a healthy food, you don't like

I am sure there are other, I just can't think of them. Hope this helps at least a little.