Munch Notes/Agenda - BDSM Basics - 9th September 2021

[PixieDust]

Munch Notes/Agenda - BDSM Basics -  9th September 2021

Host: @Shenna 

Content Contributors: @PixieDust @lil-monster @Shenna

 

1.What does the acronym of BDSM stand for? 

• Bondage/discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/masochism

 

2.  What are some common forms of BDSM Play?

• Impact play such as spanking, caning, flogging
• Sensory Play/Deprivation such as blindfolds, earplugs, music
• Sensation Play using items such as a pinwheel, feathers, ice, heat, wax
• Bondage such as restriction and or restraint

 

3. What roles are part of BDSM?

• Dominant -  Dom/me
• Submissive – sub/slave
• Switch – switches between both roles
• Top
• Bottom

 

4.  There are various types of Dominants, do you know that they are?

• Sadist
• Daddy Dom
• Primal
• Hedonist
• Master
• Sensual Dom
• Caregiver

 

5. Similar, there are various types of submissives, do you know some of the names?

• maso
• bratt
• little
• SAM
• pet
• slut
• sub
• sissy
• service sub
• prey

 

6. How do you know what role you fall under?

• Naturally Dominant
• Naturally submissive
•  Experiment
• Some will just know right off the bat
• Others will try different roles to see what fits best
• Take the BSDM test – google BDSM Test and you should find it
• Check out the BDSM Roles and Archetypes here at Fetish.com https://www.fetish.com/list-of-bdsm-roles/which-bdsm-archetype-are-you/

 

7. What is the difference between a Dom and sub and Top and a bottom?

• Dom/sub (D/s) is a dynamic and is relationship guided
• Top/bottom is more play and not the responsibility that comes with a D/s
• A common phrase of what not to do is “topping from the bottom” which is something to keep in mind when in a D/s dynamic

 

8. Does anyone know what the 4 Pillars are and what they represent?

            The 4 Pillars represent the core foundations of BDSM

• Trust
• Respect
• Honesty
• Communication
• Further information from a previous online munch can be found here https://www.fetish.com/topic/18023-munch-notesagenda-–-the-four-pillars-in-bdsm-–-10th-september-2020/

 

9.  Do you know what SSC, RACK & PRICK mean?

• SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual
• RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink
• PRICK -  Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink

 

10. What is a frenzy?

• A feeling of desperation that you need to have all your wants and needs met at the same time.
• You crave knowledge and experience and try to do it all at once to the point of exhaustion, overload, and confusion
• Mind and body over stimulated
• Information overload
• For further information check out the discussion from a previous online munch about a Frenzy https://www.fetish.com/topic/14869-munch-notesagenda-dommesub-frenzy-18th-june-2020/

 

11.  What is a drop?

• Drop tends to happen after an intense session/scene/connection with a play partner
• It can happen a couple of hours after the session or days later
• Can last for a few days or a few weeks
• Often caused by release of hormones, endorphins and chemicals during a session.
• Body needs time to recuperate
• For further information check out the discussion from a previous online munch about Drops  https://www.fetish.com/topic/14843-munch-notesagenda-the-drop-2nd-july-2020/

 

12.  What is a dropbox?

• A dropbox is a collection of items that help with your aftercare and the aftereffects of a drop
• It can include things like a soft blanket, chocolate, lotions, bath oils and bath bombs, a cuddly/snuggle toy, a piece of clothing from their partner, a collection of their favourite music, or perhaps even a movie or a good book to read. 
• Think of it like a pamper box that provides nurturing, recovery and comfort
• For further information check out the discussion from a previous online munch which includes information on Drop boxes   https://www.fetish.com/topic/14843-munch-notesagenda-the-drop-2nd-july-2020/

 

13.  What is aftercare/selfcare and why is it important?

• Self-care and supported care after a play session
• Can include physical comfort and or emotional support
• Essential for helping with Drops
• Can involve cuddles, soft whispers, positive praise etc to help bring that person slowly back to reality without shocking their system.
• Massages, care of bruises etc from impact play
• General nurturing and caring
• Further notes can be found from a previous online munch under the following:  https://www.fetish.com/topic/17643-munch-notesagenda- -selfcare-–-covid-style-26th-november-2020/

 

14. What is a safeword and what is it used for?

• A safeword is a specific word or signal that will end BDSM play session instantly
• It is used as a safety measure and means STOP play immediately
• The choice of word is up to the person however whatever word is chosen, is specifically for the purpose of stopping play.
• Both parties should be fully informed and aware of the safeword chosen and the implications of the chosen word when it spoken.
• If words are not spoken due to various forms of restraints, agreed signals are used as alternative safeword as a visual prompt

 

15.  What are limits? Is there a difference between a soft and hard limit?

• The word "limits" derives from the concept that the task or play at hand "off limits" aka not allowed whatsoever
• A Hard limit is something that must not be done.
• A Hard limit is normally something within play that makes the person feel very uncomfortable and or can possibly set of past triggers.
• A soft limit can still be something that makes a person feel uncomfortable however with cautious approach and informed consent the person may be willing to explore that soft limit further with their partner of choice.

 

16.  What is Punishment versus Funishment?

• Check out our previous munch notes on the topic https://www.fetish.com/topic/17521-munch-notesagenda-funishment-vs-punishment-19th-november-2020/

 

17.  Where is the best place to go for educational content on BDSM and kink in general?

• Fetish.com Forum  https://www.fetish.com/forum/
• Fetish.com Magazine  https://www.fetish.com/magazine/
• Fetish.com BDSM Roles and Archetypes https://www.fetish.com/list-of-bdsm-roles/which-bdsm-archetype-are-you/
• Fetish.com List of Kinks and Fetishes https://www.fetish.com/list-of-kinks-and-fetishes/
• Fetish.com BDSM Training School  https://www.fetish.com/bdsm-training-school/
• Ask your peers
• Check out the submissive guide
• Google
• Youtube
• Youtube – Evie Lupine  https://www.youtube.com/c/EvieLupine 
• Seek a mentor
• Ask another Dominant
• Ask another submissive
• Further notes from a previous online munch on BDSM Education can be found here https://www.fetish.com/topic/16052-munch-notesagenda-bdsm-education-4th-september-2020/ 

 

18. What is a Munch and how do you find one?

• Social gathering for kinky folk in vanilla type setting such as a café, pub, restaurant
• Great way for newcomers to meet local like minded kinksters and find out what is happening in their local area.
• Munches are a great way to dip your toes into the scene especially when first starting out.
• Munch – word derived from “Meeting” and “Lunch”
• Use google to find a munch in your local area or use a website called “Findamunch”
• Check out local events on kink sites
• For further information, check out discussion notes from a previous online munch on Real life munches https://www.fetish.com/topic/21639-munch-notesagenda-–-real-life-munches-101- 25th-february-2021/
• Fetish.com Magazine article https://www.fetish.com/magazine/fetish-scene/tips-for-attending-your-first-bdsm-munch/

 

19.  Who do you go to if you’re struggling with BDSM?

• Reach out and ask your kinky peers
• Reach out and ask a trusted friend or family member
• Seek guidance through a professional – General Practitioner, Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist who specialises in Kink

 

20. What is a dungeon?

• A dungeon can be a professionally owned space that hires people who are trained various aspects of BSDM and or kink who help members live out their fantasies
• A dungeon can also be a private venue and or club, space where friends can go play with others who have a similar interest.
• A dungeon can have both private for rooms for hire or open rooms with demonstrations and or play sessions.
• Strict rules and protocols normally apply – if in doubt what to expect or what to do, ask the venue owner.

 

21.  What are some common tools/toys used in a BDSM play session?

• Flogger
• Paddles
• Whips
• Gags
• Masks
• Pinwheels
• Rope
• Tape
• Sex Toys – Vibrators, wands, plugs, dildos
• Candle wax
• Ear plugs
• Handcuffs
• Restraints
• Spreader bar
• St Andrew’s Cross

 

22.  What is a BDSM kit?

• A bag or box full of essentials tools for play
• Will often include Toys, rope, restraints and the like
• Lube, condoms, creams, lotions
• First Aid
• Water
• Chocolate

 

23. What are BDSM Contracts?

• A signed or verbal agreement on agreed terms and conditions of a BDSM Relationship/dynamic
• For further details check out our munch notes from a previous munch on BDSM Contracts https://www.fetish.com/topic/17281-munch-notesagenda-bdsm-contracts-11th-june-2020/

 

24.  What does collaring represent in BDSM?

• Collaring can mean different things to different people but normally a sign of ownership in a D/s relationship
• For further details check out our munch notes from a  previous munch on BDSM Collaring https://www.fetish.com/topic/16617-munch-notesagenda-collars-and-bdsm-traditions-23rd-september-2020/

 

25.  Any final questions and or thoughts?

 

Thank you to our host @Shennafor hosting another great online munch and thank you to all the members who joined in the discussion. 😊

 

[Da****]

Excellent info there. Is there a way on the site I can save this link with to my profile so i can access this at any time to learn or remind myself?? Thanks for anyones help in advance👍👍😁😎🤐

[Da****]

Apologies there for bad autocorrection in my sentence and grammar etc lol.

[li****]

8 hours ago, DarklightKeeper said:

Excellent info there. Is there a way on the site I can save this link with to my profile so i can access this at any time to learn or remind myself?? Thanks for anyones help in advance👍👍😁😎🤐

Hi so if you bring up the Munch notes and then at the top of the page if you copy the link there and then head to your profile and go to settings and there you'll be able to copy and paste on to your profile, hope that helps 🙂

[Da****]

Thanks lil-monster fo all your help there 👍😉...Like your profile pic there, you have a great figure and outfit looks great on you too! 😉😎

[li****]

3 minutes ago, DarklightKeeper said:

Thanks lil-monster fo all your help there 👍😉...Like your profile pic there, you have a great figure and outfit looks great on you too! 😉😎

You're welcome and thank you very much 😊