Bo**** Posted Tuesday at 10:43 PM 2 hours ago, torontodanielle said: The most memorable for me was your so pretty I'd like to at least try to impregnate you lol 😆 I think that one is unhinged but funny enough to actually work in person, but it’s easier convey the confidence and underlying humour required in an actual human interaction. I’m stealing that, even if it didn’t land, it’s still an objectively hilarious opening line. Or I just have a warped sense of humour 😂
Ni**** Posted Tuesday at 10:45 PM In person it’s normal as fuck to say “hey” to start a conversation stop demonizing men for being normal.
ra**** Posted Tuesday at 10:45 PM 17 minutes ago, Mike75 said: Conversations start with a greeting, thats just basic human interaction. You demanding a dog and pony show for an introduction is the problem. You feel entitled and refuse to place any blame on yourself. Youre playing victim to a situation you created. Fair enough, but statistically speaking, and men validate this all the time, they get significantly less messages and responses than women do. I don’t blame any who choose to play the numbers game or send the same opening line to any woman they send messages to, because I’m actually guilty of the latter myself 🫣🥴😅 I’m sure that most women’s inboxes look similar to mine, so I’m not trying to make it seem like I think I’m special or anything. I also need someone who I can exchange witty banter with in my free time. I typically respond to messages that seem unique, so while it’s definitely a preference, it seems like a lot of women are looking for someone who seems to be authentic enough to show off their individuality in their opening messages.
BB**** Posted Tuesday at 10:51 PM I would love to hear more from the ladies on flirting, small talk, effort, and response length. :)
Jo**** Posted Tuesday at 10:57 PM Its a numbers game with any type of online dating. At least you get something for posting pics and nothing else.
JC**** Posted Tuesday at 11:26 PM 3 hours ago, Sexcgirl said: YESSS. I agree. It’s becoming hard to feel something when I read a message. But I’m the same way.. I require intellectual conversation. I get bored extremely easily. Words are everything. Esp in my head. If you can’t get me going with words alone then there’s no hope for you. It’s sad bc I don’t want to leave them feeling like damn I’m not good enough but at the same time I’m like dying of boredom. I just don’t respond sometimes bc there’s NOTHING to respond to. Streets usually move in two directions. You could also put forth some effort. Sometimes for some men just sending a hello can be utter hell on their mental health. Then they’re also supposed to be witty when they already feel worthless due to an inbox full of unread messages? That’s kind of the conditions this app has given us. The pretty boys get all of the attention the normal guys just end up with empty or unread inboxes. If we’re all to be equal, then we must act accordingly. Throw one of those dudes in your inbox you ignore a bone and you might end up with the person you spend the rest of your lives with. 🤷♂️ besides the pretty boys folks fawn over are usually shallow and selfish and yall end up saying “why can’t I find a good man”. Well ladies yall have an inbox full of them. You just chose not to talk to them. Good work you played yourselves. 😂
PresentisPeculiar Posted Wednesday at 12:33 AM That's like a chatGPT of "that guy" rant4 on a dating or similar site over the last decade who doesn't get play and actively imagines all these "Chads" with more ladies on their arm than they can handle. Never thinking once that a woman might not really want to put their work in on a guy so crippled by anxiety he can't use his words beyond a one word yelp. There's no realistic barrier here ..the person you are messaging isn't staring at you with her friends flanking where one mistake might get you social shunning. It's the Internet. Type something interesting...anything. Sometimes we blame everything else on earth and in DSM-5 on the result instead of maybe considering the inability to grab a few words and give an honest opening line might be accurately representing that you dont have anything interesting to say. Maybe reflect and work on becoming more interesting. Read something out of your comfort zone. Look at their bio and see if there's an interest you share and craft an opening line that makes her feel seen without it being creepy. If all else fails, go to referencing how so many guys are crap at the in box and she is amazing per the bio and photos so she's probably buried in an avalanche of "what's up" and far cruder and possibly criminal offerings by some. There's a conversation starter. But to put it on them to see through your awkwardness to polish you up and find their forever guy is unrealistic. As for the Chads...have you spent any time on here or fetlife and seen the men that usually have a bunch of followers and are name dropped by others and generally organize or lead events? No offense to anyone , but those ain't Chads. But they are interesting, dedicated, and respect the women and all other life forms in their spot on this rock.
de**** Posted Wednesday at 12:38 AM We are not shallow or selfish! But also not everyone is a poet with words. Dating apps in general is a very different experience for men than for women. That being said there is some excellent advice here for those new Daddies in here. Don’t ever demand submission. I am very picky who will be my sub. And she must want it really really bad, and volunteer submission or I don’t even want it anymore. Hard to communicate all that in inbox greetings.
Bo**** Posted Wednesday at 12:53 AM 4 hours ago, LiVee said: I wish the men who alter their path of travel multiple times to stare at me in public could manage a hello. All this effort goes into perfect profiles and openers for a format where it’s not physiologically possible to know if I’m even attracted or not. Zero courage and zero effort happens in person where anything is actually possible. Because of how drastically social media and dating apps have altered intersex dynamics, I think this approach would actually probably have a significantly higher rate of return, if you lack the confidence to walk up to an attractive female and introduce yourself, you probably aren’t as “dominant” as you believe and if you’re capable of reading simple body language, you can opt to continue the conversation or you can just give her a compliment and be on your way. Online compliments are meaningless, but a genuine compliment from a stranger can makes someone’s day. Worst case scenario you made someone’s day slightly better and it’ll be easier to do the next time.
JC**** Posted Wednesday at 12:56 AM 3 hours ago, KinkyGenius86 said: “I want [this], [that], and [the other]”… ”Give me [this]”… “Show me [this]”… You ask, “Why does every conversation seem to start with the same five lines?” Perhaps you should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why do I expect someone else to put in the effort to write an intriguing, funny, challenging, sexy, witty, imaginative, personal, and/or thoughtful message to me, when I’m either too lazy or too entitled to send an initial message to someone else?” I’ve sent literally over 100 initial messages to women on this app alone, and in every message, I have tried to be witty, imaginative, personal, funny, thoughtful, challenging, and/or intriguing—NEVER writing something as simple or cliche as “Hey, how are you?”, “I think you’re beautiful/gorgeous”, or even “You have the most enchanting/sparkling/beautiful eyes!”… I put significant time and effort into each of those messages, and I’m a talented and skilled writer. Nevertheless, after sending those 100+ messages over the past year, during which I’ve been a premium or VIP member of this app/site, I’ve received no more than THREE replies. The vast majority of my messages are either deleted (as indicated by a 🗑️ symbol next to the message in my inbox), hidden by the recipient (as indicated by the 🚫 symbol—but colored white), never read (as indicated by a single check mark ☑️, whereas messages that are read are indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️)—sometimes even after I’ve used points to “highlight” my message in their inbox in an attempt to get their attention—or ignored (as indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️, meaning they’ve read my message, in combination with my inability to send any further messages to them unless/until they reply)… I’d be gracious and understanding if I even received a reply simply stating that they appreciated my message but weren’t interested, yet, I’ve only received such a message ONCE! To think that you (and several of the commenters) are complaining, not about betting ignored constantly and rarely receiving replies to your carefully crafted and thoughtful messages, nor about receiving crass and/or vulgar messages from classless or even disgusting guys, but about receiving TOO MANY messages which ask you how you are doing and/or PRAISING you—telling you how beautiful someone thinks you are, or how petty your eyes are?! Shame on you—you self-entitled, lazy, selfish, ungracious snobs! Damn bro you okay?
Te**** Posted Wednesday at 01:16 AM Author 4 hours ago, KinkyGenius86 said: “I want [this], [that], and [the other]”… ”Give me [this]”… “Show me [this]”… You ask, “Why does every conversation seem to start with the same five lines?” Perhaps you should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why do I expect someone else to put in the effort to write an intriguing, funny, challenging, sexy, witty, imaginative, personal, and/or thoughtful message to me, when I’m either too lazy or too entitled to send an initial message to someone else?” I’ve sent literally over 100 initial messages to women on this app alone, and in every message, I have tried to be witty, imaginative, personal, funny, thoughtful, challenging, and/or intriguing—NEVER writing something as simple or cliche as “Hey, how are you?”, “I think you’re beautiful/gorgeous”, or even “You have the most enchanting/sparkling/beautiful eyes!”… I put significant time and effort into each of those messages, and I’m a talented and skilled writer. Nevertheless, after sending those 100+ messages over the past year, during which I’ve been a premium or VIP member of this app/site, I’ve received no more than THREE replies. The vast majority of my messages are either deleted (as indicated by a 🗑️ symbol next to the message in my inbox), hidden by the recipient (as indicated by the 🚫 symbol—but colored white), never read (as indicated by a single check mark ☑️, whereas messages that are read are indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️)—sometimes even after I’ve used points to “highlight” my message in their inbox in an attempt to get their attention—or ignored (as indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️, meaning they’ve read my message, in combination with my inability to send any further messages to them unless/until they reply)… I’d be gracious and understanding if I even received a reply simply stating that they appreciated my message but weren’t interested, yet, I’ve only received such a message ONCE! To think that you (and several of the commenters) are complaining, not about betting ignored constantly and rarely receiving replies to your carefully crafted and thoughtful messages, nor about receiving crass and/or vulgar messages from classless or even disgusting guys, but about receiving TOO MANY messages which ask you how you are doing and/or PRAISING you—telling you how beautiful someone thinks you are, or how petty your eyes are?! Shame on you—you self-entitled, lazy, selfish, ungracious snobs! 🤣🤣 oof looks like i hit a nerve, and with that attitude, i wonder why your messages don't land. 😑. A) I've been on the other side of this with women too, and I've found they're more responsive to funny/creative/engaging openers. B), I have messaged men on here first too. You called me entitled, but isn't it far more entitled to think you deserve someone's attention because you called them pretty? And I'm not ungrateful, or ungracious. I flat out say that I appreciate them, it's sweet and i know from experience how hard it can be to approach a beautiful woman, not wanting to come off as creepy, with the added bonus of wondering if she's even gay. I've met wonderful people on here, some men, some women. But more importantly, if say.. 100 people message you, are you going to take the time to respond to every one? No. That's I like having another full time job and sounds exhausting. posted this mostly because I was trying to give insight on how to better approach women. However the flat out viciral reaction from you is far more telling.
pleasuredomnewbie Posted Wednesday at 01:56 AM The thing that surprises me is how many women don't respond after a general greeting. Especially the ones who "spank" you. I probably do want to do dirty things to you, but I'm not going to lead with that 😅. How about we start by verifying you're a real human and not a bot or a catfish. 😁
ju**** Posted Wednesday at 03:12 AM honestly bet its people playing the # game.. messaging as many different people as they can because it seems that 7 out of every 10 accounts are bots or scammers. It feels like wasting mad time making individualized openers when unsure who's real and who isn't.. These sites are 2 complete different games for men compared to women. Women make a profile and get hit up constantly by guys and they get to pick and choose who to reply to who not. Guys make a profile then have to send out messages on a regular basis and get a reply 1 out of 3 out of 4 out of 5 if they're lucky and then have to try and determine who's bot or scammer out of the replies n who might be actual person..
Bo**** Posted Wednesday at 03:14 AM I think it would be hilarious to consistently begin the conversation referencing someone describing themselves as a sapiosexual, but with a wildly incorrect definition of the word, but absolute confidence that your definition is correct. “You seem interesting but your fetish for tree sap is a bit off putting, but maybe I just haven’t tried it the right way.”
PresentisPeculiar Posted Wednesday at 06:47 AM I've had a pretty decent success rate. I've also received the "I blocked you" message mid conversation that leaves you feeling for a moment. The very first person I met here was interested in that I knew, went to dinner, pushed me to set something up, then ghosted me. What matters in that moment is how you react. She ghosted me. I thought she was into it. Oh well...I guess her life is chaotic or she isnt sure she wants to do this or her old boyfriend moved back to town or who gives a f because that's her issue, not mine. Better ghosted or ignored than to find some ruinyourlife that meets up. I'm confident in who I am and what I do. And I'll just wait until I see someone else who interests me. And then because they do, I will craft a real intro. I've never sent mass messages, and have been the initial message sender maybe 50 or 60 times in 4 years. If they reject me, they do. A woman I met here who I became quite close with became ill and left the site, but not before giving me her log in info and encouraging me to do whatever. She lives in Vegas, which just adds male toxicity a touch, believing the local Vegas sub women just dream of visiting tourist strangers who want to spank them and free use their holes. I knew it was bad, burning at least 300 messages I was reviewing over about 2 weeks, I found one that was respectful and worth a woman's time. I actually sent her that person's info just in case. The range was from boring to insincere to gross to possibly criminal. The worst ones really believed their hype and it was a little too easy to set up times and places throughout Vegas to meet them then have something happen so oh I'm so sorry I couldn't help it but I'm sooo horny...how about Venetian st 5pm? Maybe kept a few predators on a wild goose chase and unable to offend for a few hours.
Li**** Posted Wednesday at 06:47 PM 17 hours ago, Born-to-win said: Because of how drastically social media and dating apps have altered intersex dynamics, I think this approach would actually probably have a significantly higher rate of return, if you lack the confidence to walk up to an attractive female and introduce yourself, you probably aren’t as “dominant” as you believe and if you’re capable of reading simple body language, you can opt to continue the conversation or you can just give her a compliment and be on your way. Online compliments are meaningless, but a genuine compliment from a stranger can makes someone’s day. Worst case scenario you made someone’s day slightly better and it’ll be easier to do the next time. Legitimately, if a man visibly goes out of his way to look at me and I have neither hidden from him, left, nor made an effort to outwardly ignore him, at that point he might as well conclude that he can approach. Courage isn’t even needed; just a train of thought that’s in the present moment. There are layers to attraction that women experience and men don’t, that have to happen in person. Online dating is great for people who work nights, have severe social anxiety, or otherwise can’t flirt in person. But it has become a crutch for people who don’t need it, to their detriment.
Bo**** Posted Wednesday at 07:40 PM 53 minutes ago, LiVee said: Legitimately, if a man visibly goes out of his way to look at me and I have neither hidden from him, left, nor made an effort to outwardly ignore him, at that point he might as well conclude that he can approach. Courage isn’t even needed; just a train of thought that’s in the present moment. There are layers to attraction that women experience and men don’t, that have to happen in person. Online dating is great for people who work nights, have severe social anxiety, or otherwise can’t flirt in person. But it has become a crutch for people who don’t need it, to their detriment. An enormous amount can be discerned from eye contact and body language, some people are just naturally better at it, but that applies to any skill. The crucial part is realizing it is a skill, even if you aren’t naturally gifted, it’s possible to learn and practice it, if you’re willing put in the work you can get better. I bartended for years and I can’t even count how many times I would have to go over and explain to some guy that the table of girls he was talking to was not interested and he should cut his losses and go back to his own table. Even without hearing what he was saying it would be evident that he was crashing and burning lol
Ap**** Posted Thursday at 01:33 AM Lol I can be sweet but I don't know if I can be charming. My openers are either a very open ended question or a very autistic, I think we have something in common.
Bo**** Posted Thursday at 02:06 AM 33 minutes ago, ApeWithFeelings said: Lol I can be sweet but I don't know if I can be charming. My openers are either a very open ended question or a very autistic, I think we have something in common. In the name of science, let’s attempt to test run a variety of openers that could be charming in person but autistic online, and vice versa
Li**** Posted Thursday at 04:36 PM 20 hours ago, Born-to-win said: An enormous amount can be discerned from eye contact and body language, some people are just naturally better at it, but that applies to any skill. The crucial part is realizing it is a skill, even if you aren’t naturally gifted, it’s possible to learn and practice it, if you’re willing put in the work you can get better. I bartended for years and I can’t even count how many times I would have to go over and explain to some guy that the table of girls he was talking to was not interested and he should cut his losses and go back to his own table. Even without hearing what he was saying it would be evident that he was crashing and burning lol Before I practice, it would have to be a thing that has ever happened.
Te**** Posted Friday at 06:31 AM "Respectful" lines don't mean anything if they're transparently bullshit. I say in the very first paragraph of my profile that I'm only looking for guys in my country for RL dates and LTR, and not cybersex chat partners. Dude comes in saying "I'm willing to treat you with the respect you deserve" and he's 3000 km away and wants a chat partner. 🤦♀️If you really respected me, honey, you would've read my profile. It's not rocket science.
Recommended Posts