Pychology of kinks

[Deleted Member]

Hi everyone 

I find it's always interesting to hear about why people are into certain things that might not be the norm even for bdsm. 

Has anyone got anything unusual that they're into and would care to explain why it appeals? 

Even if it's a common bdsm thing, it would still be interesting to hear about and your experiences with it if any 

[Deleted Member]

Water sports! Because it’s a form of worship. If I have a Domme and I adore her and want to worship her then doing things involving something that has come from her, that she has created is a way of showing that dedication.

[UK****]

Being a sadist. People in vanilla and many in the kink world find it difficult to accept that a person can enjoy creating ***. The key thing in our world, it's not just random ***. It needs someone just as willing to accept it. It's a ying, yang thing.

[Co****]

I like the intimacy. Sharing an experience that’s out of the normal realms of acceptance. Enjoying each other fully.

[Matttster]

I find the psychology very interesting as well. For myself, I am not certain. In part, I like helping people and as a Dominant I have either by helping establish certain rules or by providing physical fulfillment.

In part I think it is being appreciated; I was going to say “worshipped” but that does not sound right. For example, a sub had disobeyed a rule one time and admitted that the worse punishment was the fact she had “let me down”.

Regarding the physical part, it is an amazing feeling to be sitting after a “session” and knowing my partner is feeling fulfilled or very satisfied, kind of like when they can say is “WOW”.

[Soulful_Kinkster]

To me kink psychology is very important. As a Demisexual, I like to know the person, their kinks and their Why’s. This helps me as a Dom to create the playspace for the sub where sub is comfortable as there has been communication, consent and clarity around needs, wants and desires. It brings out the intensity and intimacy. Even after the “session”, as part of aftercare, I like to sit and just understand and analyze some of things that worked and did not work. It’s all about science. 😇

[ey****]

Before I give an example - I ended up down a right rabbit hole recently for a guest blog I was doing for someone and a lot of my research was looking at different psychologies.

Basically : why people like certain kinks, ideas, dynamics

What was fascinating is that neither everyone with particular backgrounds was into particular kinks and also not everyone into particular kinks had the same reasons or backgrounds - I feel this is always something interesting when learning what makes different partners tick 

Anyway

A lot of my kinks are centred around intimacy.    Foot worship or any other type of worship is lips to skin, smoking/ashtray is often sharing some's air, watersports or sweat their bodily fluids.  Also to a little degree a kinda that if it's, say, smelly sweaty dirt feet a kinda metaphor for "I will love you at a perceived worst" kinda thing.

 

[Matttster]

I have talked to many submissive friends about “why”. I have had many different responses.

What was intriguing was talking with a woman who was psychology and we got talking about the psychology of kink. She was not in the scene; this does not mean she was against it, just not into it and did not really know anyone in it. Her views, based on book learning and some class discussion was far from what I have learned talking to people in the scene.

Has anyone else talked with psychologists and gotten their take on submission and dominance?

[Deleted Member]

On 12/31/2021 at 3:55 PM, DaveT99599 said:

To me kink psychology is very important. As a Demisexual, I like to know the person, their kinks and their Why’s. This helps me as a Dom to create the playspace for the sub where sub is comfortable as there has been communication, consent and clarity around needs, wants and desires. It brings out the intensity and intimacy. Even after the “session”, as part of aftercare, I like to sit and just understand and analyze some of things that worked and did not work. It’s all about science. 😇

Interesting, I used to wonder if I was demisexual, I think I partly am, if I find someone attractive I might want to have sex with them, but still get to know them better first? Mainly for trust? Does that count? 😂

[Deleted Member]

On 12/31/2021 at 5:23 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

Before I give an example - I ended up down a right rabbit hole recently for a guest blog I was doing for someone and a lot of my research was looking at different psychologies.

Basically : why people like certain kinks, ideas, dynamics

What was fascinating is that neither everyone with particular backgrounds was into particular kinks and also not everyone into particular kinks had the same reasons or backgrounds - I feel this is always something interesting when learning what makes different partners tick 

Anyway

A lot of my kinks are centred around intimacy.    Foot worship or any other type of worship is lips to skin, smoking/ashtray is often sharing some's air, watersports or sweat their bodily fluids.  Also to a little degree a kinda that if it's, say, smelly sweaty dirt feet a kinda metaphor for "I will love you at a perceived worst" kinda thing.

 

Lol ok that's interesting, can't say I've heard that side of it before but I guess that's why it's interesting. I guess everyone has different reasons, someone said they were into watersports because of the vulnerability with it, and there's a different answer above as well. 

[Soulful_Kinkster]

1 hour ago, Rosie-5158 said:

Interesting, I used to wonder if I was demisexual, I think I partly am, if I find someone attractive I might want to have sex with them, but still get to know them better first? Mainly for trust? Does that count? 😂

Yes, it counts lol. To me, yes sex is important but mental connection makes it more intimate and more intense. Exploring kinks is all about experience. I always say one persons taboo is other persons kinks. And hence the kink psychology is so interesting 😈