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Language and labels

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What am I? Is a question I have been playing with recently as I’ve always been into kink but not really the scene. I wouldn’t have titled myself at all but my last 2 Submissives have labelled themselves as submissive. So I leaned as I naturally do towards Dom but may have increased the volume a little. I was struggling with an I actually a Dom as my pleasure is derived from their pleasure, that and the feeling of someone dressed as you want them in their knees awaiting instruction whilst you have a riding crop in your hand. So I almost started a post with what makes you a good Dom or Sub? Then I have just seen on the never have I ever post, a phase I hadn’t heard of, a quick google later and it seems I do have a label ‘ pleasure Dom’. 

1. we’re do new to scene people learn the language?

2. Does it matter?

3. How did you get your label? And why?

There is no language. You are who you are. Your label is how you identify yourself. I am a Glover. A fetish Glover. It’s who I am. My sexuality is who I am. I love it and live it. Embrace it. Explore it.
1. There's several posts in the new to BDSM forum discussing labels/titles/honorifics etc
You go to munches/events and you chat to people etc
2. I don't think labels matter. I also think that who you are chamges in different relationships
3. I know i'm submissive. That's innate. The type doesn't really bother me one bit 🤷‍♀️
Others will have different views but the other point i'd make is that over time, who you are will likely change. I wouldn't worry too much about putting yourself in a box

It feels weird that I don't think I've ever heard "Pleasure Dom" before and now I see it twice in a week, ha.

It doesn't seem to be all that much different from a "Service Top"

But to the questions

1) People learn the language through exposure to it and their own learning - making an effort and talking to people exposes people to different terms, languages and ideas and that's what enriches us.   And of course, that there's always more to learn

2) Ish.   Imagine all the labels fell off the tins in your cupboard, so you pick one out for tea - is it beans, is it peaches, is it dog food.  So, yep, it matters if you were looking for something to pour over a sponge pudding.  It doesn't matter if you just wanted to eat anything.    Tins also tend to have 'serving suggestions' on them, but they're just that - you use that bit as a guide.

3) Curse.   Actually it can depend who I am.  I personal switch so get called a switch cos I, y'know, switch - but what I do can depend on who I'm with - I often present as being sub because most of the filming etc. I do is as a sub.   Though, as I joked yesterday - largely cos I'm lazy and just have to lie there or kneel with my mouth open.

Labels can be a helpfull starting point, kinda pointing in a direction, but there can be many directions after that, as you have found out with pleasure dom, and theres lots more you can add to that too. I have a few labels, each one just different parts of my personality that fits closest, but each label will still differ slightly for everyone.
Dont get hung up on them, just describe to any potential partner what you enjoy, what you need from someone and what you want to give.
It will all fall into place during conversation 😊
Don’t pigeonhole yourself with labels. It’s more important in how you see yourself and what makes you and your partner happy and fulfilled.

sub, passive, degradee, slut, masochist, whore, maid, kajira are all labels I self use, I luv my labels some I was given, some I've chosen with experience, but not everyone fits into a label- if you don't then hey don'y worry about best label of all is 'i am myself'


I have a bunch of labels but abit like old clothing they no longer fit. I am a Dom but not comparable to any other. I found this useful for my own self-identity as I am focused on finding my true authentic self.

Pardon the pun, but you will tie yourself up in knots trying to match up neatly to generic BDSM labels.

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