To win your sub

[Dustykat]

How far would you go to win the submission of women or man that you find very  desirable? Knowing she/he requires or needs to see if she/he can dominate you and you know she/he has the potential to succeed. What would you do?  For her/he it's a game that she/he wins all the time or does she/he?

Edited March 21, 2022 by Dustykat

[Pr****]

I would go until I collapse, yes she has the potential to succeed however that’s the fun. Nothing worth having is easy.

Edited March 21, 2022 by Mrgoodtime124
Misspelled a word

[Dustykat]

1 minute ago, Mrgoodtime124 said:

I would go until I colapse, yes she has the potential to succeed however that’s the fun. Nothing worth having is easy.

You’re a keeper, I think 🧚‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

Excellent question, one I’ve asked myself serval times recently. I find the deeper I understand my submissive desires that little bit more off me I give away. A no becomes a yes and the yes’ not even questions anymore but more the things I’m willing to forgo as standard

[Dustykat]

Interesting 🧚‍♀️ positive spin

[4R****]

Is it me or is the OP confusing? Why would the person who's submission your trying to win need to see if they can dominate you?

But to answer the question I believe is being asked, i would simply be myself. The right person for me will submit to me willingly without me having to 'go to extreme lengths' in order to 'win' their submission.

I know what I bring to the party!

[Dustykat]

11 minutes ago, SirArchA said:

Is it me or is the OP confusing? Why would the person who's submission your trying to win need to see if they can dominate you?

But to answer the question I believe is being asked, i would simply be myself. The right person for me will submit to me willingly without me having to 'go to extreme lengths' in order to 'win' their submission.

I know what I bring to the party!

I understand what your saying and is a valid point 🧚‍♀️

[Dustykat]

As a submissive and prey, I look for the best hunter, dominant man to be with. As I understand it some of us subs can be strong enough to dom but it's not in our desire. We except our Doms to be nothing less than the best match for us. Each D/S relationship is a different dynamic.

[na****]

Are you with someone who dominates you but promises to let you dominate them some time if you "win"? If so, I would say this person is playing with you in a somewhat abusive way. It's fine to tease, withold, lie and cheat while playing if that's how you've agreed the play will go but if someone is teasing, cheating or lying in your negotiation for how you will play (promising that one day they will let you dom when they have no intention of ever doing so) then that is just non-consensual toxic behavior. It might also get you excited and if that's what you like, fine but if you genuinely want to dom and they say you can dom next time "if you just do this one impossible thing" and it's upsetting you, you need to discuss that frankly.

[Dustykat]

13 minutes ago, naru said:

Are you with someone who dominates you but promises to let you dominate them some time if you "win"? If so, I would say this person is playing with you in a somewhat abusive way. It's fine to tease, withold, lie and cheat while playing if that's how you've agreed the play will go but if someone is teasing, cheating or lying in your negotiation for how you will play (promising that one day they will let you dom when they have no intention of ever doing so) then that is just non-consensual toxic behavior. It might also get you excited and if that's what you like, fine but if you genuinely want to dom and they say you can dom next time "if you just do this one impossible thing" and it's upsetting you, you need to discuss that frankly.

I'm sorry but your  not understanding that  was not what I was saying, but you can have your opinions 

Edited March 22, 2022 by Dustykat

[ge****]

I wouldn't expect any dominant to "go" anywhere other than to be authentically themselves, no matter how desirable they found me, or me them for that matter.
.
If we're aligned and on the same wavelength, and have a mutual attraction, connection and chemistry are the things that matter to me. Find those and my submission will potentially follow naturally.
.
If I felt someone was trying to "win" me it would probably put me off if I'm honest.

[Dustykat]

41 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I wouldn't expect any dominant to "go" anywhere other than to be authentically themselves, no matter how desirable they found me, or me them for that matter.
.
If we're aligned and on the same wavelength, and have a mutual attraction, connection and chemistry are the things that matter to me. Find those and my submission will potentially follow naturally.
.
If I felt someone was trying to "win" me it would probably put me off if I'm honest.

I don't really mean win but attract you but I understand cause I want someone who puts an effort in attracting me 

[Deleted Member]

If a submissive was demanding anything from me I'd end my vettung process and find someone who's a but more down to earth like myself. The whole things smells like a future case of TFTB to me.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, Dustykat said:

I don't really mean win but attract you but I understand cause I want someone who puts an effort in attracting me 

But attraction is attraction plain and simple - it either is or it isn't there - it should be effortless if it's authentic.
.
Yes there are things that can be said or done which might enhance that attraction but they need to come from a genuine place and not be something someone thinks you want to hear/see.

[MissTakenDeep]

For me personally, as an S type, I’d be looking for a Dom that can show over a period of time, that they are genuinely interested in ME, that they don’t give up too easily and start looking elsewhere if I’m not running on their clock…I’m also quite a dominant person naturally and I really don’t submit to anyone. It takes a lot of time for me to build trust and if I feel like the D type is trying to speed that up so they can bed me quicker, I’m out 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I was looking for a submissive partner, I’d take the time to get to know them, make sure I can both offer what they need and desire what they can offer..that also takes time & completely honesty.

[ey****]

I was thinking about this last night and overnight

So - I don't think I would try to win someone's submission.  But, I think... I'd want to demonstrate I knew what I was doing, that I wouldn't take unnecessary risks with their safety, that I was good to be around and that we knew how each other stood

For example is this going to be with a view of an ongoing relationship? What does that look like? Or, a one-off scene (say, at a party or event) 

Similarly; I think if someone wanted me to be their sub - I'm not a prize, but, I would be dedicated and passionate - can I feel that would be returned?

[Dustykat]

5 hours ago, MissTakenDeep said:

For me personally, as an S type, I’d be looking for a Dom that can show over a period of time, that they are genuinely interested in ME, that they don’t give up too easily and start looking elsewhere if I’m not running on their clock…I’m also quite a dominant person naturally and I really don’t submit to anyone. It takes a lot of time for me to build trust and if I feel like the D type is trying to speed that up so they can bed me quicker, I’m out 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I was looking for a submissive partner, I’d take the time to get to know them, make sure I can both offer what they need and desire what they can offer..that also takes time & completely honesty.

I probably didn't express myself properly but you said what I was trying to explain and was having trouble conveying, but well said

Edited March 22, 2022 by Dustykat

[Dustykat]

7 hours ago, WarmSmiles said:

If a submissive was demanding anything from me I'd end my vettung process and find someone who's a but more down to earth like myself. The whole things smells like a future case of TFTB to me.

But they do you just do see it, it takes a give and take but out online lately is a lot of quick gratification from the Dom side and the sub some of the newbies think it what goes and some sub don't understand they can choose it's not that simple 

[Dustykat]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I was thinking about this last night and overnight

So - I don't think I would try to win someone's submission.  But, I think... I'd want to demonstrate I knew what I was doing, that I wouldn't take unnecessary risks with their safety, that I was good to be around and that we knew how each other stood

For example is this going to be with a view of an ongoing relationship? What does that look like? Or, a one-off scene (say, at a party or event) 

Similarly; I think if someone wanted me to be their sub - I'm not a prize, but, I would be dedicated and passionate - can I feel that would be returned?

Yes you got what I was trying to explain it got lost somewhere in translation you have to understand that French is the language I was educated in and we are not a prize but more maybe I simplified it too much

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, Dustykat said:

But they do you just do see it, it takes a give and take but out online lately is a lot of quick gratification from the Dom side and the sub some of the newbies think it what goes and some sub don't understand they can choose it's not that simple 

Doms have no power until a submissive chooses to submit, you're right, but it's a power exchange not a power struggle. I'd like to get to know a potential submissive slowly and honestly without any games involved before our first scene

[Dustykat]

3 minutes ago, WarmSmiles said:

Doms have no power until a submissive chooses to submit, you're right, but it's a power exchange not a power struggle. I'd like to get to know a potential submissive slowly and honestly without any games involved before our first scene

I understand what you saying and yes it's true but what I'm trying to explain is online right now a lot of newbies think they don't have a choice if a Dom is on my profile and say too bend they have to I'm only saying they don't have to till they meet the Dom that takes the time to understand them and that's all I'm try to say 

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, Dustykat said:

I understand what you saying and yes it's true but what I'm trying to explain is online right now a lot of newbies think they don't have a choice if a Dom is on my profile and say too bend they have to I'm only saying they don't have to till they meet the Dom that takes the time to understand them and that's all I'm try to say 

Ahhh, then ive misread, I'm happy we're on the same wavelength :)

[Dustykat]

I'm sorry if you guys don't understand what I'm trying to explain, but maybe was trying too much to be inclusive of everyone and left some of what I was trying to talk about behind  

[Deleted Member]

You're alright, with text we lose tone of voice and it's just impossible to get your meaning across to everyone

[NiplessBrat]

I’m very strong willed, an I don’t identify as a sub as I can’t ever see myself following orders.
I use brat/switch as I prefer to be put on my knees rather than ordered to do so.

For me it is more of a power struggle.

A strong man that can and chooses to pin you in a second is great for lots of people, but a strong man that knows he can have an instant win, yet chooses to play with his prey, and enjoy a bit of wrestling before he claims his win is more appealing for me. ☺️