Labels

[pu****]

I'm brand new to the kinky world but I seem to be getting stuck on labels. How am I supposed to find what I'm looking for or have my mistress find me if I'm not 100% sure what I am or what I need/want based on pre-determined definition?

I want to experience the life and create a bond with someone who I feel comfortable giving control to. The more I'm on these sites and read comments, the more I lose hope that she exists.

[So****]

Even in a dom/sub relationship, it is about compromise and both parties (or all parties) asking questions and doing things for each other. There is someone out there who will ask questions, try things with you, and help you learn.

[Deleted Member]

If you have any questions feel free to message me. Labels are helpful but you don’t need to know anything 100% outside of obvious triggers and limits.

[My****]

Just be you. No one can put a label on you. There is someone for everyone. You just have to be patient- and continue to learn. Believe me, don’t worry about labels

[mo****]

You will find her I’m looking myself

[Ch****]

Sounds like you have ticked one 'label' as you are looking for a Mistress, you feel submissive variety, thats a good start and for some that might even change over time, some decide to switch or indeed being submissive wasnt what they thought and become Dominant variety.
As you find people and chat you might notice different things about yourself, how you naturally react, how you choose to react.
Those will give you an idea as to different side 'labels' and you can be as many as you want.
It took me years of playing and research to find all mine, and im a little bit of this and pinch of that and some 'labels' im not all of it, i kinda read the 'definition' of some and think yes thats me but no wait not that bit lol.
So dont get hung up thinking 'i have to have labels' because its not an absolute tick list, its more a rough idea that will come in time.
For now think about all the things you want to experience, what kinks you have, what do you want to give future partners, how you feel about being with someone..... after that some 'labels' might also just reveal themselves 🙂

[Ch****]

I heard an anecdote about a kinky couple who decided the make a kinky dictionary. They gave up as every group of people they interviewed had their own unique definition for each of the many kink labels.

The best way to see the labels is more like guidelines than strict rules.

[BadDesires]

You shouldn't worry about labels. They are there as a guide but everyone in the world of kink will be learning on some level. People evolve and may discover there labels change with them, so you shouldn't feel trapped by them if you start to feel different.
Checking your profile you seem to know what you want right now. I also
believe there is someone out there who matches your desires perfectly. You just need to keep believing so you can make the right impression when your paths eventually cross. In my experience I find I can be my own worst enemy if I let myself fall into a negative headspace. I can shutdown, become guarded and impossible to connect with, so if you can avoid doing something similar you should hopefully be able to enjoy exploring and have fun learning more about yourself along the way.

[MissTakenDeep]

I think it’s important to remember, you don’t need to have a specific role to fit in to the kink community or find a partner.

[ey****]

there's a few terms which become very catch-all : there is sometimes values in labels, but when people look they tend not to be overly specific.  

A lot is in the communication.

If you are looking for a Mistress who you want to give control to - then it is likely you may be submissive, even if that is just as part of occasional play or something wider.  

[SP****]

I'm lost too lol

[ma****]

You are who you are... talk to others, read. In some cases, it might take years for people to find their partner(s). Also, people might change during their journey and people must embrace that.

When I realised that I am a submissive, I thought that I am a brat also because I am sassy, playful and silly at times. The more I learned, I realised that I am not a brat (I won't misbehave just to get punished and I will never be disrespectful to a Dominant when I have one), but I am just a submissive who is simply playful, sassy and silly... I have also learned that I have got babygirl tendencies.

[Zi****]

No worries, I've been into this stuff for a while now and I still see the acronyms for things and have to Google them to remember wtf they are. People don't talk with short hand in real life, just be direct in your bio and be patient.