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Newby surprised to be here!


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If someone had told me I would be here , 10 years ago,  I would have thought you were nuts!    A  very brief relationship with a guy into BDSM  and now a guy who wants me to dominate.   I personally would love to be with a woman at least,  the idea is such a turnon.   

Did you always know you were into BDSM? When did you find out?

I found out probably half a year ago, but I've always been into it subconsciously. I just never noticed the signs. Now all I long for is a Submissive to connect with.

It'd probably been in the back of my mind since I was a teenager.
(In fact, I did briefly go to fetish clubs when I was 19 - and my break from them was longer than planned.... I've since made up for lost time)


Only a few years ago did i realise i was into BDSM, despite being in a sub/domme relationship for a decade previously (it just happened naturally and was the best relationship i've ever had).

I developed a 3sum fetish after my first one aged 17, even wanted a relationship with 2 guys (almost got that too when an ex was happy to share me with his best mate) but as it wasn't the done thing then it never happened.
Even in my (legal age) teens i got with guys way out of my experience who were into kink, i still didn't see it as BDSM though because that seemed more...not sure of the word but what i was doing seemed quite mild compared to what i thought BDSM was. I'd done pee stuff,  light bondage etc. but no pain or anything that wild so this is why i thought that.

Like i said though i got with someone submissive and it worked well, we split up but i knew after him i wanted to be with someone submissive or nobody at all, i did find someone 'submissive' who never submitted to me and it almost put me off looking again (he did actually put me off relationships altogether and i went for casual sex instead). Luckily the casual sex scene is quite social in places and so i discussed things with people there and got a lot of stuff worked out in my head, from being explained all the terms to understanding why the things i enjoyed were ok to enjoy (things like humiliation is supposed to be bad but if people enjoy that then it's not bad for them).

Took me ages to figure it out though. I'd still say my interests are fairly mild but i don't feel out of place in such a community.

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