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Patience

ur****

By ur****
in Kink Academy

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ur****

ur****

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Patience is a virtue a lot of the people here lack obviously to worried about jumping into things too quickly.

Deleted Member

Posted
I’ll be honest I’m not the most patient of person, but you need to play a long game if you are to successfully experience the best!
pi****

pi****

Posted
I haven't been here long but have noticed the same thing. Kinda annoying.

Deleted Member

Posted

There all using this site to get p**** and d***

Deleted Member

Posted
I have been online for over four years my patience ran out a long time ago. I'm on two other dating sites when your an older man your nobody everybody says older men are creeps. The liars get all the women and the true good guys get nothing.
po****

po****

Posted
Maybe because you're new, you lack the knowledge to understand that, time is a precious commodity. If you aren't ready to meet someone when the opportunity comes, you shouldn't be here. There are to many fakers and pretenders who play games by being coy and shy but actually never intended to take the next step. When you go for a job interview, you know soon enough if you got the job or not. Nobody is "jumping into things" but after three conversations you are either inspired or, ready to move on. Please define "too quickly".
ey****

ey****

Posted

Patience is one of the important traits within kink and fetish relationships.

It is worrying how many people can't appreciate that or expect otherwise 

gr****

gr****

Posted
9 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Patience is one of the important traits within kink and fetish relationships.

It is worrying how many people can't appreciate that or expect otherwise 

It is, but I have seen a lose of seriousness in the Kink communities over the past 23 years. It must have something to do with everyone abandoning experience and tradition for individual desire.

So****

So****

Posted
Love this topic. Was was just explaining this to a friend.

Deleted Member

Posted
2 hours ago, asheboro195 said:
I have been online for over four years my patience ran out a long time ago. I'm on two other dating sites when your an older man your nobody everybody says older men are creeps. The liars get all the women and the true good guys get nothing.

Interesting thread the other day about good guys ...

So****

So****

Posted

Thank you @Lady_Char I am new to online community and have been turned off by most of it. I lived my DD/lg dynamic for 10yrs. I message some to compliment others that are asking advice and for myself to enjoy a conversation. I also understand that older men are often viewed as creeps. I exercise my patience and end all communication with anyone not willing to want to know me before proceeding into any play. It is very difficult to find a response to any message

Deleted Member

Posted

I tried ump*** ways to comment on the older men being seen as "creeps" comments and I couldn't make it come out right.

I get a lot of messages from older men. A big age gap is not something I'm interested in, but I know that's some people's jam. Perhaps I should put my "interested age range" on my profile, IDK.

mc****

mc****

Posted
It takes time and patience for any relationship, especially in the bdsm community. Be safe and protect yourself friends.
ey****

ey****

Posted
3 hours ago, greatimp99 said:

It is, but I have seen a lose of seriousness in the Kink communities over the past 23 years. It must have something to do with everyone abandoning experience and tradition for individual desire.

kink communities are generally evolving.   Remember of course the idea of kink communities etc is still relatively in it's infancy and a lot is shaping.

While some (often/mostly men) are eager and inpatient (and that seems to be a lot of older men looking at this thread, so not a "eeh - young uns" situation) it still doesn't change a lot.    That a lot of prospective partners are, rightfully, likely to bail if they feel rushed or pressured.

That if any of us suddenly get in a chat tomorrow which moves really fast and ends in a meet - it is going to take time to learn about the other people.    If there are skills one or the other is inexperienced in it is going to take time to hone those skills. A target dynamic will take time to establish.

Of course, there are those who do get into a situation and do try to rush things - but - this generally ends up being a bad/negative experience for one or both involved.

I am someone who engages in a lot of hook-up play, often through filming, but this was something which was only really possible to the extent it is now through 9 years continuous experience : particularly on another site I get 'I wanna be like you' messages when I put up new photos - and I'll say, sure... but it's going to take years of work and effort with a lot of ups and downs.  

ge****

ge****

Posted
6 hours ago, asheboro195 said:
I have been online for over four years my patience ran out a long time ago. I'm on two other dating sites when your an older man your nobody everybody says older men are creeps. The liars get all the women and the true good guys get nothing.

I've only really been using on-line sites like this for the past 6 years which is when I turned 50 (so guess qualifies me as an "older" man given we are the same age) and guess what? I don't consider myself a creep, or a nobody, nor do I think, for the most part, others do - and in that time I can honestly say I have met some lovely people, both socially and for more.
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So it's not about age, not at all.
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As for your last sentence, what fact do you have to back that up? It strikes me as a typical kind of comment someone whose expectations aren't being met would make, in order to provide reason for those expectations not being met, based on nothing more than a false perception.
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I let others decide whether they consider me a "true good guy" rather than deciding for myself that I am.
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To come back to the OP though, patience does play a part, as does having the right expectations, attitude and approach to sites like this - couple that with a well written profile, some decent pictures and positive interactions in both messages and the forums and it won't guarantee a thing but it will change your perception of how sites like this work.

ge****

ge****

Posted
6 hours ago, poonocchio69 said:
Maybe because you're new, you lack the knowledge to understand that, time is a precious commodity. If you aren't ready to meet someone when the opportunity comes, you shouldn't be here. There are to many fakers and pretenders who play games by being coy and shy but actually never intended to take the next step. When you go for a job interview, you know soon enough if you got the job or not. Nobody is "jumping into things" but after three conversations you are either inspired or, ready to move on. Please define "too quickly".

Sorry but totally disagree with your comment that "if you aren't ready to meet someone when the opportunity comes you shouldn't be here" - everyone has the right to be here and to take things at their own pace.
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Yes, fakes and pretenders are a part of sites like this sadly, but just because someone wants to take time to get to know someone before deciding to meet them, doesn't mean they are either of those things.
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The fastest I've ever met anyone from sites like this has been 2 weeks from the first message I think, and usually it's a lot longer, like months - because I'd prefer to establish a connection and chemistry and be sure that *we* are well matched - and I'm certainly neither a fake nor a pretender.
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If someone doesn't want to meet straight away, and you do, then it simply means you're not compatible.

po****

po****

Posted
1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Sorry but totally disagree with your comment that "if you aren't ready to meet someone when the opportunity comes you shouldn't be here" - everyone has the right to be here and to take things at their own pace.
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Yes, fakes and pretenders are a part of sites like this sadly, but just because someone wants to take time to get to know someone before deciding to meet them, doesn't mean they are either of those things.
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The fastest I've ever met anyone from sites like this has been 2 weeks from the first message I think, and usually it's a lot longer, like months - because I'd prefer to establish a connection and chemistry and be sure that *we* are well matched - and I'm certainly neither a fake nor a pretender.
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If someone doesn't want to meet straight away, and you do, then it simply means you're not compatible.

Look, I really don't give a sh*t if you disagree. But, your conclusions and suggested incompatibility is frankly not based on the facts.
I have said this before and I will say it again. I am not joining sites like this for anything other than viewing for comparison purposes. I don't need or want what is offered. I have returned to traditional socializing with positive results. I have no problem connecting with women out in the real world. Furthermore, your opinions are a reflection of your own experiences not mine. Frankly, this place hasn't produced anything significant in either prospective meetups or dialogue in the month since I have joined. I set June 1 as the last day. This is not how I plan to spend my summer. Lastly, there can't be compatibility if you never have the opportunity to meet and get to know each other. What, you think everyone is exactly as they describe in their profiles? Wow are you clueless. Eye contact and body language and trust are necessary in establishing compatibility. But, you keep on believing your bullsh*t if that is the best you can do.

Deleted Member

Posted
I feel the same...
I mostly have more of the feeling of a one night stand and I dont like one night stands at all because I need a normal connection first before I can feel safe and live in the fantasies and want to make the effort to make those come true. Because we all know if you jump into something so fast , it wouldnt last long. Also what about protection, did you made a soa test?

And I wrote in my bio, I'm autistic. I need to get used even more to new surroundings and new people.
And till now nobody even made it till a meeting because of the rushing and sexual content bombing.

If you want a long term d/s relationship you need to meet up like a date and talk in a crowed place. Thats how it goes. If it kliks than you can go further.
po****

po****

Posted
23 hours ago, your_darling said:

I feel the same...
I mostly have more of the feeling of a one night stand and I dont like one night stands at all because I need a normal connection first before I can feel safe and live in the fantasies and want to make the effort to make those come true. Because we all know if you jump into something so fast , it wouldnt last long. Also what about protection, did you made a soa test?

And I wrote in my bio, I'm autistic. I need to get used even more to new surroundings and new people.
And till now nobody even made it till a meeting because of the rushing and sexual content bombing.

If you want a long term d/s relationship you need to meet up like a date and talk in a crowed place. Thats how it goes. If it kliks than you can go further.

Again, at 24 you are hardly seasoned in the ways to meet new friends. First of all, you can't begin to know anything about me or anyone else by engaging in protracted and drawn out text messages. All you under 30 people seem to not know that the telephone was invented over a century ago for the purpose of having live spontaneous conversations. That thing you're holding with a keypad, it actually has a phone built in. It's the way people have been communicating for 100 years. And your analogy to "one night stands" is absurd. A one night stand is when you pick up some skank in a bar and go somewhere to f**k. I never said anything about indiscriminate sex or want to rush into anything. What I said was, meet for coffee and sit for awhile and talk. It's called an introduction. Then if both feel comfortable, make a date for dinner or, wild passionate sex. It's about feeling safe and comfortable period. Let me explain something as a courtesy. All you've ever known in your 24 years is, the internet and social media. I am twice your age and only know how life was before all the internet bulls**t. We took it slow and got to know each other. Friendship comes first then once you feel there is trust and common interests, you go to the next level. It might take 6 months or 6 days but it will be based on a mutual decision. To be honest, I have never had any difficulty meeting people because I am warm, honest, witty and love to cook. Women want a man with those qualities.
What I am saying is, I neither want or have time for long drawn out futile exercises of a sentence today then maybe another one in a week. That's not someone who is really interested in engaging in a relationship. In most of those examples, just suggesting that we move things from text to talking on the phone will be met with resistance. That makes no sense to me. Life is to short for those kinds of games.

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