Wanting to purge certain kinks. Help please.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, charlotte352 said:

^ this..I find suppression. Makes the want worse in the end. But it is hard to surround yourself with those your comfortable with expressing your desires with..it's a hard life at times

I agree but I go through phrases where like now I just want to chuck it in a box and bin it and don't want anything to do with it. And then I'll eventually go back to it.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, gamermadison96 said:

I've felt like this since I was a ***. "The girl will think I'm weird if she knows what I really like." And I told almost nobody and kept it suppressed for years and years while watching porn of my kinks behind closed doors. And yes, a few people that I opened up to felt it was weird. Then my first girlfriend thought I was a complete freak and I told her what's honestly one of the tamest kinks that I like. Honestly she was abusive to me though. But recently a met a new friend who let me know everything is okay and she introduced me to fetlife. And I feel so much better about myself now. I realize that I'm not the issue, it's the way this self-centered, judgemental world views sex and their definition of what's "normal." Nobody is perfect and don't let another imperfect human's ideas of what's "normal" put you down or dictate your life choices. Just live life and be free! :).

Aww sorry to hear that. And I'm really sorry that you were made to feel bad about your kinks. Hope you find someone awesome! Thanks for your comment 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, ChastityPup said:

I understand how you are feeling. Although I’ve not yet encountered kink shaming for my fetish from anyone on this sit, I do feel that due to its uniqueness I think some women don’t feel they could connect with me. I guess they’ve grown out of playing with dolls. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sorry little humour there.
I had, like you, moments of jacking it all in too. I am also very private to my family and friends (friends not on fetish that is) for the reason of them not understanding it either.
So what I am saying is don’t feel shame over what you like, share with those you feel you can connect with your kink and if you feel like you can’t then try and separate both kink and vanilla sides so you can reserve your pleasure times for your own enjoyment.
You should enjoy your times.

😂 it could be to do with what people are looking for too. I have a one track mind and that's finding a Daddy. Sorry to hear you've had thoughts about doing the same. My bestie...he gets it. He knows. But my other bestie doesn't and even though they are kinky too I just don't know how well it would go down if she stumbled across my paci in the bathroom etc. The shame is too great. On the other hand though I've openly showed her my cane, and my corset etc. Even my pink pvc dress too which she loved so for all I know she's also an in the closet lgbg too herself.😂 X

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, xmimixrosexlovex said:

Relatable and I wish I had advice, but I’m still working on living a balance of kink and nonkink (thankfully my boyfriend is pretty nonjudgmental and encouraging of my exploration and a little open to things too) that being said, it’s hard having your kinky side, especially when it gets into the more “controversial” side of things that is difficult to explain to people.

One thing I’ve been learning is that as long as it’s something that brings you comfort and happiness, then it’s nobody else’s business (except a significant other) that you’re doing it (within reason, obviously) and that doesn’t just apply to the kink of life either.

Thanks Mimi rose. You hit the nail on the head. I*m almost brazen about the fact that I love hanky spanky. Like I mention above to @chastityPup if I left my Singapore stinger paddle or a ball gag lying about they wouldn't bat an eyelid but any of my lgbg wear etc...I think I'd be the first person to actually spontaneously combust due to embarrassment 🙄 Hope you're having a nice weekend 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, plymouth888 said:

If no harm is done to anyone and brings you comfort pleasure enrichment then don’t be embarrassed embrace it. Certainly don’t suppress yourself, not everyone will understand but thats ok too. Be expressive enjoy the inner outer you there will be those that will embrace alongside and they will grow with you. I also think its ok to step back at times because less can be more, we change life changes we constantly evolve and when thats with a special someone even better. Just allow yourself to be you.

I've missed you my friend! Thanks for the nice words x

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, garmer said:

To hell with what other people would think. You do you and be happy in whatever space is comfortable to you.

Thanks both. I think I'm the problem though. I blame therapy 😂

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, p00***lover said:

You are who you are, don't ever feel ashamed or try to hide it, I went through the same feelings too, but I've embraced who I am and I feel better for not being what people deem as 'normal'...

Cheers love 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, ScrappyV1 said:

I think in 2022 people are more open to it. Obviously there will always be someone that wants to shame but people are getting more & more accepting of kinks

Yeah true. I think it's what I'm projecting on to it too. Regardless it's making me feel like crap.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Mafya said:

You want to go out for a reason and I want to join for a reason, this is the world sometimes you have to discover so that you can understand yourself or even reach the stage of sufficiency, the problem in treatment is that you are afraid to be exploited but try carefully with a consultant or satisfy yourself until you turn off and be completely satisfied or find love to the point of changing for the best for this love, these solutions that I will look for if you are in your place, in the end I hope you find Rest of your heart 🤍

Aww my therapist is great. They're not making me feel bad about my kink. It's safe sane and consensual etc. It's the work I'm doing that's making me acknowledge the type of men I go for and why I go for them, which is making me look at kink related stuff. Thanks for the sweet words though 💖

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Chloebear said:

Hello! I have the same kink and I know where you’re coming from. I found it harder to express the older I’ve got too… but I’m pretty openly a big kid in a non kink way, with fet people knowing the kink side of that, and it helps reconcile the two. No-one needs to know what you call your partner in the bedroom - do we know that about half the couples we talk to? Outside of the kink community people don’t really chat about it…. It’s only your business, don’t worry about other people’s opinions. Any therapist worth the time will tell you that normal doesn’t really exist, so if lg/bg feels right for you, it does and that’s ok. It can be a *** role though, but in my opinion losing most dynamics will make us feel ***.

I wish I was less inhibited and could just just let that side of myself show too. Anything that even hints at my little side gets stashed away before my friends come over (apart from a print out of a Buff Monster ft Hello Kitty piece on my wall). That's a valid point, but I think because I'm so open about my more mainstream kinks with my friends be ause we all are, so I feel a bit of guilt too for going to such great lengths to hide it.

Thanks for your lovely comment and advice too 💖

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, sean6ix said:

Your friend would jealous that you have found a way to express what makes you happy.
Some people are just toxic and when things end try and hurt you any way they know how and that is by using what they know about your traumas and triggering them.
Stop feeling shame. Start enjoying yourself and your sexuality.
Be naughty and go out with your collar tucked in your purse or wear it inside out to get used to it being ok.

Thanks for your support and nice comment. My friend is awesome and I'm probably making way too big a deal oht of it, and quote possibly projecting my hang ups on to the situation, and it wasn't her just to clarify that made me feel bad she's a doll 💖

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, uberkontroller said:

The swing between shame and excitement IS the whole thing. The shame is part of the excitement. The more we fight it, the more we get of it. We only truly give something up when it is no longer of interest. ...

This shame is coming from a non horny place. It's coming from the 'I hate that I still need my lgbg side and the stuff that goes with it' place :/ Thanks for the comment and support 💖

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, bittenkiss said:

Its pretty common apparently, something about dopamine highs followed by withdrawal-type symptoms. All you can really do is understand yourself and realise that these feelings are transient. Maybe its time to put the lg/bg kink on hold for a while and take up something else, maybe its connected to some other aspect that has affected you more and you're "passing the blame" subconsciously to the lg/bg thing.

Yeah that ties in with the wanting to purge thing. Urgh why can't my brain just cooperate. I don't want to feel bad about liking what I like because I shouldn't, it's not like I like mowing down ***s or something awful. I like having a paci and hello kitty for goodness sake so whhhy is my brain determined to make me feel so shitty and embarrassed about it. It's not even the fun horny embarrassment either.🙄

Thanks for the support and advice 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's a lot of folk I feel for - in that; whether it's kinks they are ashamed with or which they feel holds them back in relationships

there's little I can really offer other than sympathy I'm afraid :/ 

Thanks for being lovely 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, greatimp99 said:

I have never found a way to successfully purge a kink I wanted. I wish I could help. Other than saying be open about what you want.

Thanks. I haven't either...I go a few months and then I miss it. It's not as easy as quitting smoking. 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Subtlety said:

You mention therapy in ur post and I wonder whether it is a kink friendly therapist whom would actually have the training to not make any false assumptions about specific kinks, wants or needs.
You seem to want to be able to talk through any doubts or guilts you may have to better accept yourself and therapy is absolutely the best place for that.
All the answers and acceptance of yourself are within you, you just need to find someone who can help you find those.
X

Hi I'm not discussing my kinks with my therapist per say. The kind of therapy is helping me with my attachment issues, so it's been making me look at the kind of relationships I seek out, and why, so I've been scrutinizing my kinks as a result of that more so the dynamic I prefer. Thanks for your support and kind words 💖

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, MisterE1989 said:

Just keep looking for people who don't stop you from letting that particular "Freaky Flag Fly"! You shouldn't be trying to let part of yourself go, but indulging it and letting it grow! I think it's pushing it away thinking it won't be fulfilled that makes you feel shame (unless it turns out you also like *** and you just don't know it yet! 😅)
I personally LOVE this kink, and there are plenty of other men who like to be called Daddy too. There's a great thrill to be found in being responsible for someone in this way. You just need to find someone who's main kink is the same as yours, then there's less push and pull as you satisfy each other's needs. Talking to a couple of people rn otherwise I'd happily chat with you some more and get to know you, but I want to make sure I dedicate my energy to those I'm involved with and don't waste anyone's time.
Keep your chin up, young lady, you'll find someone right for you in time 😉

Cheers for the support 💖

[Sc****]

I feel that, I've never found anyone I've been comfortable with enough to ask if I can call them Mommy and be their slutty little girl. I'm to scared of being made fun of.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett8898 said:

I feel that, I've never found anyone I've been comfortable with enough to ask if I can call them Mommy and be their slutty little girl. I'm to scared of being made fun of.

This site is a good place to find someone. I've met some great people on here :)

[bi****]

47 minutes ago, YesDaddyYes said:

I like having a paci and hello kitty for goodness sake so whhhy is my brain determined to make me feel so shitty and embarrassed about it. It's not even the fun horny embarrassment either.🙄

Oh well, perhaps an idea is to stop being the lg/bg and instead switch to being mommy domme. It might give you a different realisation about it that might make reverting to lg/bg less troubling.

Fun, horny embarrassment - yeah, that's the best kind :)

[Deleted Member]

Here is my opinion for what it’s worth,
I don’t think you should suppress any feelings you may have about anything, if lg/bg is your thing, then it’s your thing and just revel in that fact, your not doing it for anybody else and they don’t need to know the details if they cannot fathom the out the kink. My life Motto is live and let live. I have a cross dressing kink that comes and goes, she’s literally in the closet rn, waiting till she comes back out, and when that time arrives she’s going to come out with a bang

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, russ300 said:

Here is my opinion for what it’s worth,
I don’t think you should suppress any feelings you may have about anything, if lg/bg is your thing, then it’s your thing and just revel in that fact, your not doing it for anybody else and they don’t need to know the details if they cannot fathom the out the kink. My life Motto is live and let live. I have a cross dressing kink that comes and goes, she’s literally in the closet rn, waiting till she comes back out, and when that time arrives she’s going to come out with a bang

I love the way you wrote that. If anyone else had posted this (my post) I would've consoled them like you've all done to me. I think DDlgbg is super special and it's very sweet. I just feel silly and like I shouldn't need those things and like I'm heaping judgements on it. I mentioned above whose to say that my bestie isn't really an in the closet lgbg herself.l think I'm worried about being judged or it not being understood and losing people.x

[Su****]

Who says this isn't normal??

[jo****]

I’m in the South of the US and I’ve been in the military and all I can say is, love who you are. People want the norm to be what was new in the 50s or now everyone should be gay. So I say fuck em or fuck em. Love yourself and love others. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for enjoying things or disgusted. Things you enjoy are for you to enjoy, we have a long but short time on earth and it shouldn’t be wasted on a life other people can enjoy. Be safe of course but don’t restrict yourself to what others want because we all want differently.

[B1GDADDY]

thats the way it should be