CopperKnob Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 7 hours ago, PoisonJohnny said: @CopperKnob That's great. However, I find three to four weeks is the sweet spot for switching from online to offline. You learn far more in person than you do by simple online communication. Sometimes reality doesn't match up with the picture you have in your head and I would rather know sooner than mess about for months on end and potentially have wasted my time and energy. Each to their own. Whilst, I'd agree IRL tell you a lot more about the person, I don't consider vetting someone thoroughly can be done in 3-4 weeks before meeting IRL to be a red flag. What would be a red flag, for me, is for someone to say that my way of ensuring personal safety, my security is a red flag. But then, that tells me all I need to know about that individual
CopperKnob Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 6 hours ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said: It's such a disgrace these people thinking they can come into our inboxes and treat us like real human beings, with feelings and interests and everything! Well done that superfreak messenger! (I've had that one too đ¤Ł) He doesn't discriminate đ
Ch**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 Hi Lockfairy, I tried to message you but you have filters on...
Deleted Member Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 8 hours ago, Aranhis said: Agreed, I've met people from here after talking for timescales along a scale of about a day and a half (which no, I'm not proud of) to around nine months, and generally speaking the ones which took longer are the ones which have been more rewarding and are people with whom I'm still in touch. Nothing wrong with a day and a half. I'd do a relatively quick coffee public meet up, it has benefit of seeing the whites of the eyeballs if personalities are on same wavelength and if there is an initial connection. It could save both 6 months of penpal activity that ultimately goes no where.Â
Cr**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 Maybe that's where I'm going wrong đ I try to be respectful. No wonder not getting responses other than scammers
ge**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 4 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said: Nothing wrong with a day and a half. I'd do a relatively quick coffee public meet up, it has benefit of seeing the whites of the eyeballs if personalities are on same wavelength and if there is an initial connection. It could save both 6 months of penpal activity that ultimately goes no where. There's nothing wrong with either approach if all are agreeable - personally I like to take my time and get to know someone before meeting them and have yet to have a bad experience as a result - if others prefer to meet sooner then nothing wrong with that either - neither are red flags generally, though they may be on an individual basis for some.
Deleted Member Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 @Crawlexoffering a person a public meeting relatively soon is not disrespectful. I have done it on vanilla dating sites. The worst that happened was I made the effort of getting ready, going out, 2 or 3 hours of my time and a few quid spent. It should of course not be pushed hard either. I'm sure I noted it on my profile as a personal preference, that is what profiles are for, to inform after all.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 24 minutes ago, Crawlex said: Maybe that's where I'm going wrong đ I try to be respectful. No wonder not getting responses other than scammers Respectful communication on the Internet is so last week! đ
Cr**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 @Shirt-n-Tie-Boy I'm kind of vanilla with my intros, like 'hey hope you're doing well, saw your prof blah blah blah' hoping for a response before getting to the meat of things. Very much on the other side of the spectrum compared to OP "super freak" đ Messaging ladies on the more dominant side that demand respect too so not the easiest game.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 25 minutes ago, gemini_man said: There's nothing wrong with either approach if all are agreeable - personally I like to take my time and get to know someone before meeting them and have yet to have a bad experience as a result - if others prefer to meet sooner then nothing wrong with that either - neither are red flags generally, though they may be on an individual basis for some. Exactly. Iâve met some people within a week or so, though those ones have not led anywhere. Conversational staying-power bodes well.Â
Ce**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 2 hours ago, Lockfairy said: *dons fire-retardant stab vest ⌠I do love a shrubbery though.  I now have the image of the knights who say Ni
Deleted Member Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 2 minutes ago, Lockfairy said: Conversational staying-power bodes well. I agree with this also. As with many things there is no one size suits all.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 31 minutes ago, Cerberus870 said: I now have the image of the knights who say Ni âOne that looks nice and not too expensive.â
Ar**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said: Nothing wrong with a day and a half. I'd do a relatively quick coffee public meet up Aye, but in this instance it was not for coffee or at all public... I still wince at the memory, the parts I haven't blocked out anyway
Je**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 11 hours ago, Lockfairy said: Honestly, Iâve been having this conversation with this one bloke for months and months now. Weâve talked about cooking, gardening, our children, past relationships, even our goddamned laundry! Itâs unbelievable that this guy thinks itâs ok to talk about all these different topics on an actual fetish site. Seriously? Obviously, weâve talked about BDSM as well and thereâs been lots of innuendo sprinkled in amongst the non-BDSM stuff, but how weird that this guy thinks he can treat me like a actual human being on an actual fetish site. Crazy! Now, this other guy who messaged me tonight - he really gets it! âYou're a super freak, super FREAK! And I like itâŚÂ đâ Thatâs what women expect on fetish sites! How dare some of you treat us like normal people!  (Thank you - you know who you are đ) I will sing it to my grave that this site needs to get rid of them really fecking disgusting, cheesy, impersonal, lazy one liners they have ready available to thirsty (in my experience mostly..) men.  I literally put it on my profile to not send me them or i will block.  And i block every person who sends me them. No second chances đ đ đ Gross.  Sorry to hear you were treated like a human being. I'll say a pray. For me. To find me someone who will speak to me about dishes and laundry. đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł  Loved this post.
Deleted Member Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 5 minutes ago, Aranhis said: Aye, but in this instance it was not for coffee or at all public... I still wince at the memory, the parts I haven't blocked out anyway Ah I see. Well this I don't do. Each to their own. I've even had disaster public coffee dates, easier to recover from. We all make mistakes, live and learn.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 27 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said: I will sing it to my grave that this site needs to get rid of them really fecking disgusting, cheesy, impersonal, lazy one liners they have ready available to thirsty (in my experience mostly..) men.  I literally put it on my profile to not send me them or i will block.  And i block every person who sends me them. No second chances đ đ đ Gross.  Sorry to hear you were treated like a human being. I'll say a pray. For me. To find me someone who will speak to me about dishes and laundry. đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł  Loved this post. Thank you đ it hadnât clicked that it was an off-the-shelf one-liner. Shows you how often I initiate conversations đ
Go**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 15 hours ago, CopperKnob said: I know who sent you the superfreak message đđ Lol I had it too đđ¤Ł
CopperKnob Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 23 minutes ago, GoodGirl1003 said: Lol I had it too đ𤣠I'm personally quite gutted to find out that it's one of the pre written conversation starters đ
ge**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: I'm personally quite gutted to find out that it's one of the pre written conversation starters đ Not as gutted as I am after I thought I was "special" for getting the superfreak one... ....have just been reviewing the ice breakers (apologies again Lockfairy đłđł) and they are mostly cheesy woefulness along those lines
CopperKnob Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 4 minutes ago, gemini_man said: Not as gutted as I am after I thought I was "special" for getting the superfreak one... ....have just been reviewing the ice breakers (apologies again Lockfairy đłđł) and they are mostly cheesy woefulness along those lines I also thought I was special. Now it appears we're all as special as each other and I guess I'm in good company
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, gemini_man said: Not as gutted as I am after I thought I was "special" for getting the superfreak one... ....have just been reviewing the ice breakers (apologies again Lockfairy đłđł) and they are mostly cheesy woefulness along those lines Well, do you know, it might actually work as an icebreaker this time đ (Not that I want to encourage anyone else đł).
Vi**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 2 hours ago, gemini_man said: Not as gutted as I am after I thought I was "special" for getting the superfreak one... ....have just been reviewing the ice breakers (apologies again Lockfairy đłđł) and they are mostly cheesy woefulness along those lines Where are these cheesy lines written??
ge**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 52 minutes ago, Vic1077 said: Where are these cheesy lines written?? When you message someone for the first time they appear as suggested icebreakers
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