Pics

[lo****]

Do people actually find a ltr on here, I would have thought most types of relationships on here are for people seeking a more exciting sexual experience, I believe that it would be able to last for months) maybe even some yrs but long term?? Is it actually possible to find real love on here, asking because I'm really curious.

[Ar****]

1 hour ago, london199188 said:

Do people actually find a ltr on here, I would have thought most types of relationships on here are for people seeking a more exciting sexual experience, I believe that it would be able to last for months) maybe even some yrs but long term??

I'm really struggling to understand why you'd think it wouldn't be possible, for those who want it? Or why a more exciting sexual experience and LTR aren't two things which can comfortably and happily go hand-in-hand?

Clearly there are many users here who aren't interested in long-term, but isn't that the case with many dedicated "dating" sites/apps too? 🤔

[Po****]

1 hour ago, london199188 said:

Do people actually find a ltr on here, I would have thought most types of relationships on here are for people seeking a more exciting sexual experience, I believe that it would be able to last for months) maybe even some yrs but long term?? Is it actually possible to find real love on here, asking because I'm really curious.

I think this depends on how you define LTR… For me long term means at least 6 months onward. However, that could be 6 months to 2 years and I would consider that long term.

[ey****]

some of this kinda ties in with the Madonna-Whore complex which is a you problem rather than a them problem

that you see someone as either saintly or degraded and you're filing those who choose to have certain pictures as been degraded

this is a problem you need to kinda work on as this is your own prejudice 

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, sarnia828 said:

I do not judge what pics ppl put in there bio really I don’t but I do think pics can be misleading like if the person wants a ltr but almost all of there pics r sexual in nature it make me wonder if they really want a ltr but that just me what do you think

It's not just the risqué photos....it's the lack of any actual information about the person. 

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, ynu_shi said:

I’m just saying, every woman doesn’t have the same mindset as you. You personally know that you’re a woman with morals and don’t dress a certain way to attract/impress other men but majority of other women think the exact opposite of you. Because most women intentionally wear clothing that expose half of their body to gain attention and attract other men but simultaneously hope to find love within the process of that. But I can admit, most people honestly do have relationships that’s based on sex.. then it may lead to things getting serious later in life and that’s when love becomes involved. So, we both have a point. I honestly agree that your pov isn’t wrong and mines isn’t wrong either.

I think to dive deep here...I have found the most sexiest people have the highest morals! It's a bit egocentric to think a woman dresses "for" anyone. That's very possessive and demeaning. It's also a bit prejudice that a man can dress to feel good about himself but when a woman does it, she's without morals. If you want a queen in all areas, then treat her power equally.

[ge****]

36 minutes ago, sigbro said:

It's not just the risqué photos....it's the lack of any actual information about the person. 

And therein lies a major difference between men and women on sites like this - women don't *have* to write an interesting profile to get attention - they don't even have to post pics - now whether they get the "right" kind of attention is another matter, but for them to be approached and then able to weed people out via messages they could and do have a completely blank profile.
.
Not saying that's all women, and in my experience a well written profile of either gender is more likely to catch my interest than the opposite - but it's not a pre-requisite.
.
Men on the other hand need to stand out from the crowd and so the quality of the profile takes on more significance if they hope to meet their own expectations of the site.
.
Is just the way it is, and probably always will be while there's a balance of 10 or more men to every woman.

[Bathblonde]

Well damn thats where ive been going wrong, many thanks for showing me the error of my ways. Now where did i put my clothes 😁

Im proud of my body choosing to show what i show has sweet fa to do with the type of relationship im seeking. Plus you dont have to look 😊

[Mo****]

I put pictures of me with few or no clothes on on here, am i bothered people will think I have no morals? No. Am I bothered people wouldn't want a relationship with me because of said photos? No. 

I do happen to be in a relationship, which started on here. He often takes photos of me and likes me to share them and I like to show after years of feeling very self conscious how ***y awesome I am 🤣 It's very empowering 👍

[lo****]

2 hours ago, PolyGlam said:

I think this depends on how you define LTR… For me long term means at least 6 months onward. However, that could be 6 months to 2 years and I would consider that long term.

Yes you are correct, I do see a request for someone looking a ltr as in looking for love and commitment, a life partner, that is exactly how I interpret a ltr.

[Deleted Member]

47 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

And therein lies a major difference between men and women on sites like this - women don't *have* to write an interesting profile to get attention - they don't even have to post pics - now whether they get the "right" kind of attention is another matter, but for them to be approached and then able to weed people out via messages they could and do have a completely blank profile.
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Not saying that's all women, and in my experience a well written profile of either gender is more likely to catch my interest than the opposite - but it's not a pre-requisite.
.
Men on the other hand need to stand out from the crowd and so the quality of the profile takes on more significance if they hope to meet their own expectations of the site.
.
Is just the way it is, and probably always will be while there's a balance of 10 or more men to every woman.

I will repeat, how do you have a conversation with someone whos profile consists of a couple photos of them naked or wearing a collar? Literally the only topics of conversation possible are:

1. Commentary on their photos(what amounts to "you're hot").

2. Asking them what they want from this place.

3. Some variation of "Hey".

If women want better quality interaction they need to change something themselves. 

 

Edited July 17, 2022 by Deleted Member

[ey****]

39 minutes ago, sigbro said:

I will repeat, how do you have a conversation with someone whos profile consists of a couple photos of them naked or wearing a collar? Literally the only topics of conversation possible are:

 

there's two thoughts I have

the first is - if you look at a profile and think "fuck, having a conversation with them is going to be hard" - then... why message them?  You already know it's going to be difficult if you cannot think of anything to ask and you also know there is a good chance they're going to get bored quickly if they do reply, because you already don't know where to go

the second thought

the wider web has a whole bunch of questions or icebreakers to ask on online dating sites - but - to me, some seem better than others.

the third is...

scrap that...

what do you want to know about the person? what do you want to talk about? remember even if you are initially interested you can become disinterested if, for example, you ask their thoughts on certain dynamics or subjects.

if you don't know what to ask them, is there anything you can volunteer about yourself which can help get talking points?  

 

I'm not saying it's easy (I know it's not) but "she hasn't given me much to talk about" - ok, so, don't open dialogue with her

[ge****]

54 minutes ago, sigbro said:

I will repeat, how do you have a conversation with someone whos profile consists of a couple photos of them naked or wearing a collar? Literally the only topics of conversation possible are:

1. Commentary on their photos(what amounts to "you're hot").

2. Asking them what they want from this place.

3. Some variation of "Hey".

If women want better quality interaction they need to change something themselves. 

 

I'm not saying it's right or how it should be - my point is there are enough men who will message them regardless that a well written profile is not a pre-requisite necessarily.
.
Disagree though that the only topics of conversation are those you've listed - to put this in a "real life" context - if you see a lady in a bar you don't have the benefit of a written profile to work from - and yet plenty of people meet and go on to have relationships that way.
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Yes the format on-line is different but the underlying methods are still the same with or without having anything to go on.

[Ar****]

40 minutes ago, sigbro said:

I will repeat, how do you have a conversation with someone whos profile consists of a couple photos of them naked or wearing a collar?

If it isn't within the capacity of somebody to think of a suitable means to instigate a conversation with little to go on, that is as much a reflection on them. The question could certainly be asked as to why they might want to strike up a conversation with somebody who presents so little, what they might see in them other then looks and perhaps location, but then again maybe these profiles aren't looking to invite unsolicited messages from strangers.

44 minutes ago, sigbro said:

Literally the only topics of conversation possible are:

1. Commentary on their photos(what amounts to "you're hot").

2. Asking them what they want from this place.

3. Some variation of "Hey".

Literally, really? You're not able to think of anything else at all? One couldn't start a conversation by talking about munches or events local to you both? Potential mutual friends? Asking (almost literally) anything you might be wondering about the person to break the ice such as if they've seen the latest cult movie or if they have any favourite books they might like to recommend? Even within variations of "Hey" is there not a massive scope and difference between somebody who sends just those three letters, and somebody who takes their time to express a potential interest by typing two or three paragraphs introducing themselves (their likes, their wants, their hopes etc.) properly?

Also *scratches head* if the rest of the profile is blank why does it matter whether they are naked/wearing a collar or not? Is the point not still that one can largely only go off the visual information presented? How is that different to when you approach somebody new in a "real world" situation? Nobody hangs a profile around their neck offline. Unless you're asking them to hand you their dossier when you first approach them, are the conversational options not effectively the same?

Literally??

57 minutes ago, sigbro said:

If women want better quality interaction they need to change something themselves.

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to having to point out that it's some women, not all.

As well as the new, quite disturbing concept being floated that whilst (straight) men can seemingly do everything right yet the blame for them getting nowhere falls squarely on women's shoulders (according to some opinions voiced on the site recently), when women don't get anywhere and want better quality interactions the blame belongs to... ummm, women.

Aye, right-ho.

[Charms]

I hate people who judge others because of what they wear. 

 

You can not judge a women's morals on what there wearing.

 

Iv seen women dressed like they have been to church an have no morals and iv seen photos of people on here in there pants an bra an have alot of morals.

 

Unless you know a person personally you can not judge there morals.

 

Yes there are pictures of me with my boobs out. 

Iv been in a ltr for 4 years now

Edited July 17, 2022 by Charms

[Bathblonde]

1 hour ago, sigbro said:

I will repeat, how do you have a conversation with someone whos profile consists of a couple photos of them naked or wearing a collar? Literally the only topics of conversation possible are:

1. Commentary on their photos(what amounts to "you're hot").

2. Asking them what they want from this place.

3. Some variation of "Hey".

If women want better quality interaction they need to change something themselves. 

 

Ive had some fabulous conversations re photography due to my pictures. 

 

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, Charms said:

I hate people who judge others because of what they wear. 

 

You can not judge a women's morals on what there wearing.

 

Iv seen women dressed like they have been to church an have no morals and iv seen photos of people on here in there pants an bra an have alot of morals.

 

Unless you know a person personally you can not judge there morals.

 

Yes there are pictures of me with my boobs out. 

Iv been in a ltr for 4 years now

Yesss!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Agreed!

[AKA_Copper]

51 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to having to point out that it's some women, not all.

As well as the new, quite disturbing concept being floated that whilst (straight) men can seemingly do everything right yet the blame for them getting nowhere falls squarely on women's shoulders (according to some opinions voiced on the site recently), when women don't get anywhere and want better quality interactions the blame belongs to... ummm, women.

Aye, right-ho.

Everythings our fault 😂
To get back to the OP and to validate what @Gemini_man has said, when I first signed up, I had no bio and no pics. Within minutes I had a number of messages in my inbox.
What I'm saying is, it matters not what pics you post or what you write, many people will still throw their hat in the ring.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

some of this kinda ties in with the Madonna-Whore complex which is a you problem rather than a them problem

that you see someone as either saintly or degraded and you're filing those who choose to have certain pictures as been degraded

this is a problem you need to kinda work on as this is your own prejudice 

BEAUTIFULLY said, and I'd like to add onto it. Women often don't add descriptions because they feel dehumanized on sites like this, and not in the kinky or fun way. In the emotional way. They're taught that men won't even read or care about the stuff they put in their bio because men won't connect their appreciation for you as a person and their lust for you as a woman, so often times, women DON'T express their personality because men IGNORE it. And while we're on the subject of being a little /judgy/, how come women often have well-coordinated, high quality photos of them posed, in different outfits, etc., but men often have a selfie and an ab shot, or when they're able, a dick pic 😒 they're calling WOMEN low effort? The kinds of fun, boudoir-type photos I see from ladies ARE an indication of personality if you bother to see women as people.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

"Most women intentionally wear clothing that expose(s) half of their body to gain attention and attract other men"
.
This is a terrible statement to make on a number of counts. Whilst it may be your POV, it's useful to ask women why they wear the clothes/post the pics that they do. "Most" will respond saying things like comfort or to feel good or to increase their confidence as opposed to wanting to snap up a man.
This weekend, I've been in a male dominated environment and worn shorts and either a vest or crop top. Not for the men, but because we're in the middle of a heat wave. You see, women often do things for ourselves.
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It's also pretty dangerous to suggest that women wear particular clothing specifically for male attention, you see where I'm going with this, right?

In terms of the OP, our profiles are our own little corners of the internet where we can post what we want as long as it falls within Fet's TOU's. Live and let live.

Fair point

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to having to point out that it's some women, not all.

As well as the new, quite disturbing concept being floated that whilst (straight) men can seemingly do everything right yet the blame for them getting nowhere falls squarely on women's shoulders (according to some opinions voiced on the site recently), when women don't get anywhere and want better quality interactions the blame belongs to... ummm, women.

Aye, right-ho.

The basis for every interaction you have with ANYONE should be respect for their person. If a man can't help but be disrespectful just because a lady feels beautiful in her photos, maybe he shouldn't message her at all. Your mindset is the same as those who blame a lady for getting catcalled when she wears an outfit she feels attractive in. Why isn't it the men's fault for not having some self control to not be disrespectful? Why can't they stick a cork in it for two seconds while a woman goes about her day. Your mindset is a frightening one, Mr. Intelligent and Deep.

[Charms]

You go on about women posting pics of them nacked or next to no clothes on nit having morals.

 

There's so many male profiles with just qbb pics an d**k pics. An nothing else.  So if we're using the standard for men as we are women these men have no morals either. An there are lots of them

[BruiseWayne]

Apologies if anything I'm saying here has been touched upon at length already because I only really skimmed the replies here, but I'm honestly just not seeing how it's 'misleading' though. Maybe... MAYBE.. if we were on a vanilla dating site you might kinda have a point, and I know I'm not the first to point this out but look where we are for cryin out loud, lol.

 

Also I don't like the fact that we're kind of low-key implying that anyone who's NOT looking for a serious LTR is somehow doing something of lesser value of that the default setting of any interaction with someone you find appealing has to be 'find mate'. You don't have to go skipping off into the sunset with every single person you have some kind of connection with. I've had quite a few relationships where we just got along good, the vibe was right, things were fun and interesting between us, and we were very kink compatible, but wasn't going to be anything more than that and I found those relationships to be very fulfilling in their own way. And even though a few here n there didn't end well I regret the chances I didn't take on spending time with someone I found interesting waaaay the f**k more than the ones that ultimately turned sour or who I knew going in weren't going to be my soulmate.

 

Another thing that kinda rubs me the wrong way is the notion that someone who might want to have sexy or explicit pics up on their profile to, god forbid, turn OTHER people on is somehow inferior or wrong or not as respectable as 'just doing it for myself'. TBH who cares what the reason is at the end of the day? There shouldn't need to be a justification in the first place. Either response is perfectly valid, but I think some people shy away from the former ( even when it's true ) because they don't want to seem like they're shallow or vapid, etc. And just to bring this mini rant back on track, whatever the motivation might be, playing the part of a provocateur certainly does NOT preclude you from wanting to have an LTR with someone.

 

 

[Ar****]

10 hours ago, pe4chiie said:

The basis for every interaction you have with ANYONE should be respect for their person. If a man can't help but be disrespectful just because a lady feels beautiful in her photos, maybe he shouldn't message her at all. Your mindset is the same as those who blame a lady for getting catcalled when she wears an outfit she feels attractive in. Why isn't it the men's fault for not having some self control to not be disrespectful? Why can't they stick a cork in it for two seconds while a woman goes about her day. Your mindset is a frightening one, Mr. Intelligent and Deep.

I will clarify.

Of course the basis for every interaction should be respect.

If any person can't help but be disrespectful to somebody because of anything they find in somebody's profile - photographic or otherwise - I think they likely oughtn't be messaging them at all.

Catcalling is absolutely fucking abhorrent... (I wasnt expecting that to be something I'd have to defend myself against this morning, but alright apparently I do).

It is PRECISELY the men's fault and nobody else's when they don't have the self-control not to be disrespectful. Women (and anybody else) ought to be able to wear and do largely whatever they wish - including post whatever photos they choose - without any interference or concern that they might get harassed or disrespected etc.

11 hours ago, Aranhis said:

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to having to point out that it's some women, not all.

I didn't realise I needed to be more specific, and so far it appeared to me that others seemed to understand what I was trying to say; I can see how it could read as though I was instead trying to say something else, so thank you for picking up on it.

The "some" women I mention here is only in reference to the few who seek a "better interaction" yet treat others poorly and do not take steps to understand their fellows, exactly the same as the men who do it - in short, the people who need personal growth and are not perhaps ready for a relationship/dynamic. Because inevitably some people - men and women - do, and my comment was a response to a statement from which it could be inferred all women did.

 

I hope that clears things up about my frightening mindset, but if not feel free to ask me anything you wish.

[Th****]

Read this thread, another fiery topic I see.....lol

The basis of profile pics is to attract others, whether there naked, semi naked, or not naked is a personal choice, but there there to attract attention to your profile, and hopefully interest someone to read your profile, the down side is that, yes the girls especially do get the hump monsters that see a naked photos as an ok to aggressive mail for sex.
But it doesn't mean that there not looking for a ltr. Be proud of what you have, and show it if you want too, it is a kink site after all