Getting wife to be submissive

[Mr****]

If she likes kisses

[Dy****]

Jack, my take may not seem very original, but here it goes:

Your post and subsequent responses speak of two things about you: Your world view is very much self-centered. And you are prideful above all else.

Objectively, these are not bad things in BDSM, but the combination of them, and how they are triggered for you is.

My take on your situation is that you're scared that your marriage is ending before your eyes, and that you don't want that, and you'd do anything to stop that.

But, a true Dom knows that before they control others, or an outcome, they must first learn to control themselves.

I'm not sure what self-discovery you have done, but I urge you to pursue that before you pursue anything with your wife.

Personally, I find a lot of useful information from reading books, but not everyone does.

I don't think watching porn as an exclusive learning tool is going to help you. You know that, but you're clinging to anything you think is going to help your situation.

You need to focus on getting control of yourself long before you control another. If you have specific questions, I would be more than happy to speak with you via PM.

With that, I wish you the best of luck with your marriage.

[Va****]

Ask yourself this: Do you treat your wife...like a wife? Are you contributing equally to the relationship? Or do you treat her like your mother/housemaid who you expect to take care of the kids AND clean up after you? If it's the latter then that's your problem. I've seen so many 'husbands' treat their wives not as partners, but just a a mom replacement. It's a complete libido killer for women and so, so very common.
Ask yourself what you are actually doing for your wife to make her want to desire you and start from there.

[No****]

Polyamory maybe? My wife is asexual and that how we make it work

[to****]

I’ve sort of had a similar experience in a way, in that there have been times where my wife had very little sex drive, but I realised that I had become very dependant on our sex in order to deal with the stresses of life which ironically caused the sex to become something different and less stimulating for my wife. It took a while to see that, but now things are better. I’m more careful not to expect things from her, or to be overly demanding, but I also make the effort to remind myself how lucky I am and how amazing she is and I try and treat her as such and the positive vibes come back around eventually! Make her feel the way you see her and she will become that person more, but it’s patience and understanding that’s the hard part, especially when kids are in the mix. Good luck mate!

[si****]

Sorry to hear, but this is very common. I would recommend getting *** work done first. Then having a night where you guys pull up porn you’re into. Find similar interests and build from there. Interests change. Find how to make a spark in order to make the fire.

[Ma****]

I've seen many men in your position come into my service. There could be so many reasons why she doesn't have sex with you. However, I'm going to venture that you're a selfish lover. You told us all about what YOU want but what does SHE want? I'm speaking through the lens of femdom here. I suggest you put yourself in service to her for a month or two and then gradually switch up. Have a very open and direct conversation about how you can satisfy her. If there are things you won't do to please her, please shut up about dominating her cause that means you don't really know what dominating means.

If she has a hard time talking about sexual needs, both of you see a family therapist to mediate. If all else fails, ask to open up the marriage.

[Na****]

First of all? Is your wife on birth control?

[su****]

Let down your controlling nature and have an open chat with her, this sounds like your thing and she’s trying to please you because of you family situation. I know nothing really but my gut says
- cheating you’ll lose everything
- pushing you’ll get nothing

Sorry dude you should know her better

Sorry

[Bi****]

You're clearly not truly ready for a dominant submissive relationship since you can't seem to communicate. Stop trying to push what you want and find out what she wants. How how would you react if she told you honestly that she wanted to dominate you. You have to be willing to communicate honestly it openly and from what I've read you're not currently doing that so start there

[Di****]

Communication is key, so I'd suggest you're as honest and open with her as you've been on this thread...affairs rarely end well and then that's the legacy you leave your kids....they'll always love you, but it's nice if they respect you too.
There's a big difference between being Dominant and being Domineering...if you're constantly arguing then there's a good chance you're being Domineeeing and riding roughshod over her...submission is almost always a gift from the submissive to a Dominant they trust and respect...its given, not taken, unless that's what both want ..do you understand what I'm saying...ALL relationships, especially kinky ones are equal, 50/50...the submissive doesn't have less status than the Dominant, so if you're thinking that some how you'll suddenly be obeyed 24/7 then you'd best sit down as you're in for a nasty shock.

[ny****]

literally just TALK to her.