Age is a preference

[Deleted Member]

Why is it when I tell people that they are too young or too old for what I’m looking for it becomes an issue? “Oh age is only a number” I already know that. However for me age is a preference when submitting to someone. I’ve tried younger, it doesn’t work for me. I also don’t want too old. Yes or may seem fussy and one year younger and a few years older are cool. For me, my mind prefers older to submit too but when we get into the 50 year old bracket for me, I need whoever I’m with to be fit to relate to hanging out with my friends too. I’m not saying all but I’ve had a lot of conversations.

[ey****]

Because they're boundary pushers and are already demonstrating that thus further proving you right to say no to them

[Ge****]

There’s a saying I hear a lot… “My kink may not be your kink, and that’s okay”

…and to those to whom your limits, boundaries, and preferences happen to conflict in a way that they don’t like…. Don’t waste your time and effort trying to argue with them about YOUR limits. You’ve set them. They mean something to you. That should be enough…. And your time is far far more valuable than the time it takes to attempt to continue to explain something that shouldn’t need explaining.

But the answer to the “why” should be obvious… they want something that you just told them they cannot have, and they are not mature enough to take “no” for an answer and move on with their lives…. Which ITSELF should be a red flag.

Respect yourself, as you already seem to be doing, and don’t waste your time.

[sm****]

It's not being fussy but your own personal preference.

If they show any form of offence, it really shows they are not the person for you in the first place.

Im not sure if there is a filter to set for certain age groups to be allowed to contact you or not, if not it might be worth adding to the "lets improve fetish com" thread, there probably is but i haven't really bothered with filters as i correspond in private on a limited basis.

I myself have a lower limit not too far from my own age as if im looking for a ltr id rather have someone i can relate to in the real world as well.

[Ba****]

I'm the same way. I cant submit to anyone too close to age. I'm not even interested in people younger than me (too creepy. 21 is not a good age to be dating people younger than you.) And I'm not into being with someone older than my mom.
Like yeah, age may be just a number, but I have certain numbers you gotta be in. If you're not within those ages I'm not gonna even message you back because I dont have the time to explain it dozens of times.

[Su****]

Although age is a number of your looking for a commited relationship it does not mean that it is an excuse to push people's boundaries you need to respect what they want and are looking for to me if someone can not respect a basic request like this then what else will they not respect.

[ke****]

You have your preferences. Stick with what you prefer. If someone is offended, that is on them. I’m 52, but people don’t believe it because I have a baby face and am very fit. But if someone feels I’m too old for them, I accept that and there are no hard feelings

[ge****]

Eyem hit the nail firmly on the head as usual - if you have an age preference, it should be respected, just as any other preference, boundary or limit should be - trouble is there are many men who will (out of desperation usually) try and push preferences to fit their needs rather than realising and respecting that yours may be different.
.
Sure there *may* be someone younger or older than your preference out there who's the perfect match, but that is for you to decide and not them.

[Ca****]

Also it’s very short minded. It’s about how the relationship would work in 10-15 years or even just in a few. Age can be a really important factor for many things. So it should certainly matter even a small amount.

[Da****]

I get what you are saying and respect it, however I will say that for the younger ones(which I am not) I think it comes down to maturity, at a certain age. For me being 50, 18-23/24 is too young based on age alone, but 25 up I think is about the person's maturity level. I have met a 25 year old thar was WAY more mature than a 35 year old I've met.

[Ca****]

Thank you!!! It’s awkward for me to be honest. Like I’m not looking for a cub nor wanting a mommy role. I agree with the older part as well. Be active! I want to make memories and enjoy life.

[Pb****]

I see what you are saying, but the mind of a 50 year old is the same mind as that of his/her 30 year old younger self... as you say his/her fitness levels and appearance may not equate to his/her inner age!

[Deleted Member]

Ya some people like to push boundaries way too much. I’m someone who doesn’t care about 4 years age difference. But I never push anything. Some people need to learn to accept boundaries, and no’s in general. Boundaries is people trying to play hard to get.

[Mo****]

Yes she is a number but it’s your preference.
(Can never argue with individual choice, no wrong or right).

For me for a permanent female partner I’m looking between 40-56 only (I’m
56 and dating older woman doesn’t work for me).
My eldest son is 23 so having a 25 yr old partner would be so weird/wrong, hence 40 lower limit.
For casual sex, FWB, ONS I don’t give a rats ass about age as long she’s legal and wants to have sex, probably draw the line at 65 on the other end (oldest woman I’ve had sex with was 60, youngest 20).
You know what works and what doesn’t, stick to your plan.
Plenty of fish in the sea😊

[Deleted Member]

I agree! I don’t want to meet someone that is half my age when I am old enough to be their mother! They all say they could dominate me just as well as a man my age. But its a no from me, same goes for men that are old enough to be my father - I don’t have daddy issues so no thank you. 10 year gap - younger or older is my max. Yes age is just a number but we all have preferences in what we like.

[Deleted Member]

Sorry typo on mine, boundaries aren’t !!people try to play hard to get!!

[ge****]

19 minutes ago, Pborouk_breeder said:

I see what you are saying, but the mind of a 50 year old is the same mind as that of his/her 30 year old younger self... as you say his/her fitness levels and appearance may not equate to his/her inner age!

I'd disagree with that first statement - maturity comes into it and much as I personally "feel" in my 30s in terms of my outlook on life, I'm a heck of a lot more mature towards all things sexual now than I was then - still doesn't mean it qualifies me to meet someone's age preferences if I am outside them though.

[Da****]

If people are grring about age, there'll be some other aspect related to consent or effort or mindset that won't work further down the line. Earlier grrr's are often an omen of things to come.

Block them, stay to what you're looking for and go for it! #liveyourlife

[Deleted Member]

48 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

I get what you are saying and respect it, however I will say that for the younger ones(which I am not) I think it comes down to maturity, at a certain age. For me being 50, 18-23/24 is too young based on age alone, but 25 up I think is about the person's maturity level. I have met a 25 year old thar was WAY more mature than a 35 year old I've met.

I fully agree, I’ve also met 50 year olds with the maturity level of a younger person too.

[Deleted Member]

29 minutes ago, Pborouk_breeder said:

I see what you are saying, but the mind of a 50 year old is the same mind as that of his/her 30 year old younger self... as you say his/her fitness levels and appearance may not equate to his/her inner age!

Im not sure if this is a reply to my post or someone else’s.

[Wo****]

It's not the age for me it's maturity level. Even if I am with a little, they must be mature enough to connect with me when not in little space.

[Ch****]

God yes i get this all the time with the same reply 'age is just a number'
Then bombarded with reasons why i am wrong for having a preference; grrrrr

[Deleted Member]

Simple answer is no one likes to be rejected, told for what ever reason they aren't suitable & for those who don't put tighter restraints on age limitations, it can be confusing, they don't always quite understand why you would rule someone out just because of their age, as they dont - it's like someone who is in to blonde hair ruling out all other hair colours, to someone with black hair, that could seem ridiculous that they are being ruled out not for who they are or how they act but because of something that really is irrelevant when it comes down to would that person be a good partner or not...

The problems comes when people don't have the maturity or manners to respect your wishes even if they don't understand the reasoning.

[Valpine]

I’m 50, but in my minds eye I’m 27. I’ve felt a bit of ego bruising when I’ve been told I’m too old or outside their boundary criteria and while it smarts, I’m absolutely fine with that. It’s their choice, they’re looking to fulfill their desires and fantasies and if they have a bias or boundary to age, then it will probably deter from what they want to achieve. I’ll simply wish them best of luck and put my attentions elsewhere.

[Lo****]

1 hour ago, Pborouk_breeder said:

I see what you are saying, but the mind of a 50 year old is the same mind as that of his/her 30 year old younger self... as you say his/her fitness levels and appearance may not equate to his/her inner age!

Completely disagree!

I am not the same person I was 20 years ago. I would not want to be with someone who hadn’t grown in themselves in the previous 20 years. 

Life to me is enriched by constant discovery both internally and externally. Someone who isn’t interested in their own growth and personal development is of no interest to me.