Subs are people too

[An****]

Something that has bothered me for a long time is the sheer number of people out there willing to take advantage of the male (maybe all) subs kinks, passions, desires, and desperation. I've been a submissive for as long as I can remember. As a submissive male specifically we are not often given many opportunities to meet a dominant partner. Someone who truly desires a Dom sub relationship with us. Rather, we are bombarded with those who seek to bleed us of our material wealth by using that desire for connection as bait. I see the Dom sub relationship as beautiful. And too see it perverted in this way truly makes me sad. As subs we have to start setting boundaries. Asking questions. Protecting ourselves. We are subs but we don't have to be desperate! At least not until someone is willing to put in the work to make you desperate. 🙃

Thanks for listening.

[ch****]

Well said

[Ga****]

I don't mean to sound rude but if you are not having this conversation about your needs with the partner of your choice then, you've been putting yourself through unnecessary emotional and physical pain. Your Dom should know this prior to entering the relationship with you. Speaking about past pleasures and limits both emotional and physical is the number one rule when starting a new sub/Dom relationship. I understand that you are frustrated but if you cannot communicate with your partner then the relationship is toxic and frankly dangerous.

[EMandM]

Unfortunately there are a lot of dickweeds who pretend or think they're a Dom, too many use it as an excuse to abuse people.

[YorkshirePirate]

I agree, submission is not simping. Stay strong and search for something more than a business transaction.

[ir****]

Yeah, most of the “Doms” I end up talking to on here are either trying to scam people or they talk to you long enough to get you feeling like you have a connection just to demand you make “tributes” of money. There are some people that are into that so I don’t judge it, but you just don’t get that dom/sub connection anymore it’s all just give me your money and maybe I’ll text you later. I know exactly where your coming from and it will only stop if the target audience AKA us, put our foot down and say no. I apologize for the rant, but it’s just so frustrating

[Ma****]

Most people lack knowledge.
They Google.
Watch a few videos.
Call themselves D or s. And bring their limited knowledge into praktice.
Mostly its one way traffic.
True D/s is 2 way traffic.

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely agree. Too often we are too self occupied that we forget that you have to deserve submission

[Ca****]

I can agree, pal. Good luck out there and go with grace.

[Ch****]

Totally agreed 👍

[gr****]

Its so hard, to see these young girls, telling me there international Mistress. Its like my grandmother, she was a charokee princess.. Ahaha. Those who know what I mean by that, its sad. To be a sub, I have to sign over my bank account, all my possessions, I've gotten some contracts from some of these girls, discussing. And there 23/with 10 years experience.. If I ever got a Dom, she better be the stereotypical comedy movie dominatrix..haha.. But really, unless your a girl over 40, n kinda same with guys.. Your not going to fins someone who knows n believes in what a try Dom / sub relationship is ment to be. Its about letting go of control to someone you trust your life with, n the gratification upon both party's pushing each other farther in there rolls for real mental or sexual or something.. Something other than draining my bank account. Respect your sub's, mor than they respect you.. And show them this.. N you might have a good relationship. Anyway.. Its not a job.. A real Dom is just that.. They work n have there own money, they don't prey on weak guys scarred cause the internet n instant search, sad..lol.. Ok.. Still ranting.. Thx for listening..

[ro****]

Sadly people will take advantage of anyone that will let them.

[gr****]

Although.. I can't hate.. Maybe that's there kink.. Giving all there money away.. But I can feel bad for them.

[Em****]

In your opinions what is the most ideal situation for a dom/sub ?

[ro****]

A relationship where both people's needs are met. How that's done is between them.

[ey****]

I feel, firstly, that there is no group immune to someone trying to take advantage of them - albeit, in different ways.

I also don't think any group is automatically gifted 'opportunities' - but the potential to meet a partner is the same for everyone.  As well as online avenues there are also munches, events, so on where many people meet prospective partners.

You focus on "material wealth" as the main example of being taken advantage of but, seriously, while I get the problem you're hinting at (oh, yet-another-I'm-sick-of-Findoms thread) you can be taken advantage of in so many other ways if you don't set and learn boundaries.

Boundaries are important for everyone. To have your own limits, boundaries and self-respect.  I will say that this is *mostly* a male sub problem as being a group which is poor at setting boundaries, partially through desperation - so will do the whole "I will do anything", "I have no limits" and other stuff desperate for a crumb of play or attention even if it's not what they are into - or think they have to do certain things "for their Mistress" in order to get the attention they desire.

This said - it's totally valid to never want to pay anyone - but paying someone for their time in a space where you can explore or enjoy kinks together isn't desperation.  

[Deleted Member]

A sub is to be treasured and nurtured. Period. A sub offers up the ultimate gift- themselves. In that exchange I give everything that I have- myself. Together in those moments we are one, we are whole. One cannot exist without the other.

[Da****]

Set boundaries... if not paying tribute is a boundary then say that. You have a voice and it matters.

[Deleted Member]

It’s about respect. Each role is equal and just as important. Anyone that doesn’t understand doesn’t understand the dynamic.

[ja****]

Lol a girl on here tried to make me pay 2k to be her sub then blocked me because I was not stupid enough to do it

[ro****]

Payments first right?

[An****]

Thanks for all the feedback guys! It is really cool to know this post spoke to all of you in one way or another. As someone who's never really found a foothold in a fetish community I truly appreciate all of you!!

[Sk****]

Im with this 100%

[kimutu72]

Hi I know it's a guy chat, but like someone said always from the start tell your domme what you want and you dnt, get to know the person before deciding anything.

Name and shame any make belive domme to stop them from doing it to anyone else.

A true domme will be open with you and will tell you their expectations and limits and listen to what you want.

Always ask what experience they have, how they treat their subs and what they want.

NEVER EVER give money to anyone as soon as they ask block them. 

Hope that helps 

PLEASE remember we are not all the same.

Good luck and happy hunting x

 

[ro****]

Couldn't be any closer to the truth