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I feel this unrelenting sadness inside me that had always been there. The older i get the more it gets worse. I don't know how to make it go away. I don't want to feel empty anymore. But I must face the facts that I may remain alone and empty inside.
Knowing in the back of my mind I will some how always be a disappointment in one way or another, the *** of never being good enough.

Sometimes I fake my smiles and laughter, so people Don t ask me what's wrong. I don't want to bother them with my silly problems.
I feel I'm suffocating all the time between my head and whatever is left of my dad pathetic little heart.

I shall live the rest of my life with fake smiles to cover up this emptiness I have always felt.

That.. might be a depression. Try talking with someone about it


Yes depression, however be careful not to pop pills for me it, it's the shortest cut everyone resorts to, and very recent scientific study, showing depression is NOT caused by chemical imbalance in the brain and dopamine deficiency in cerebrospinal fluid as it was overwhelmingly argued before, that was the underpinning advocacy for use of those prescription pills...

Remind yourself that your life is yours to live. You’re not here to please others (even if that’s a kink). Follow what brings YOU joy. Because you can never make EVERYONE happy, nobody can!
If you haven’t got a happy go-to list, start one. Start with the tiny things that lift you, whatever they are. Nothing is too small to be grateful for. Notice these things more and the feeling gets stronger-it takes practise! Years of emptiness can’t shift overnight. And healing is non-linear- you’ll make progress, and you’ll have set backs-they do not mean you’re not doing better or that emptiness has returned for good.
Build new habits. Start small, find the joy. It’s your life. Do what makes you happy. Follow that trail and you’ll find the things that fill you up, and eventually, you might overflow- that feeling is love, the antithesis of emptiness. You’re fully capable. Be gentle with yourself and set reminders. You got this x
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