Care to Dance?

[Ge****]

I posted this in another site a few years ago. My life has taken some rather unexpected turns since then, but the lesson is still valid I think. I am male and a Dominant so use gender pronouns that fit for me… but they can just as readily be switched at will to fit any dynamic.

Without calling it that, we (my submissive and I) have been taking classes on having her follow my lead for years, they have just taken a different slant now. Have you ever taken ballroom dancing lessons? If you have not… you should. It is great training and rein***ment. The man is usually the leader (though that's certainly not a hard rule, but presume "Dominant" as lead and it works regardless of. The woman (or "sub") is typically the follower. Both are required to know their basic steps for any dance. There are moves that each learns. At first, it's usually awkward and halting, but with practice and repetition, the moves become natural and smooth and are done with little effort. But the "sub" doesn't ever know what's coming next. She doesn’t need to… she just needs to know how to follow. The "Dominant" on the other hand, has far more responsibilities in ballroom dancing. He needs to plan out his next few moves. He needs to be flexible enough to roll with any unexpected changes such as someone else on the dancefloor that he needs to work around, or his own carelessness or forgetfulness. If he's experienced, he can make even his own gaffes, of which only he is aware, look intended to his "sub" who, after all, didn't know what he was planning to do, so doesn't know that it wasn't what he intended. This is how I see BDSM play… whether in the bedroom, or out of it. I'm a moderate dancer because I haven't given it the due time to practice outside of lessons, but I love the challenge. I'm looking forward to LOTS of practice here with this new lifestyle, and am eager to learn whatever 'moves' those more experienced have to teach me.

So the question I have for you is… when will you ask your sub: "do you care to dance?"

[profile_08653]

Like it!

[Master885]

Nice analogy and a great way to look at it. The lesson being is to give things time to develop and communicate clearly with each other.

[Ge****]

There are a lot of ways this can be unpacked… but the parallels never cease to amaze me. One of those is trust… and that goes both ways.

[an****]

I believe this is an excellent understanding of the D/s dynamic. Well done!

[profile_08653]

Yes a really great image. I always though Tango/Ballroom are epitome of eroticism and sensuality

[BigPolly]

I’m a Morris Dancer my real life….not sure that’s going to work with this analogy 😂

[iw****]

This is actually super intriguing. I would never have connected the two so accurately or intimately

[Ge****]

1 hour ago, BigPolly said:

I’m a Morris Dancer my real life….not sure that’s going to work with this analogy 😂

Lol. Had to look that up to see what the heck it is. As cool as it looks… you’re right. Not so much! But tango, foxtrot, waltz, swing dancing, rhumba, salsa dancing… those all totally work.

[Mz****]

Beautifully put. ❤️

[Ge****]

1 hour ago, Mzshortnsweet74 said:

Beautifully put. ❤️

Thank you!

[Si****]

This is absolutely brilliant, well written and a very cleaver way of putting it. Kudos!

[Ec****]

Very well said.

[Ge****]

2 hours ago, SirArchA said:

This is absolutely brilliant, well written and a very cleaver way of putting it. Kudos!

Thank you!

[BigPolly]

12 hours ago, OldWolf91 said:

Lol. Had to look that up to see what the heck it is. As cool as it looks… you’re right. Not so much! But tango, foxtrot, waltz, swing dancing, rhumba, salsa dancing… those all totally work.

Apologies, I forget how wide spread this site is.
To be fair, swinging sticks are kind of BDSM 😂

[Ge****]

No apologies needed! I’ve a thicker skin than that and it made me laugh when I saw what the dance was. Humor is always appreciated!

[Deleted Member]

Brilliantly put, thank you for sharing. 😊

 

[Vi****]

On 8/23/2022 at 6:23 PM, BigPolly said:

I’m a Morris Dancer my real life….not sure that’s going to work with this analogy 😂

Made me chuckle that. 

Also I've 2 left feet no rhythm and dance to my own tune OP is there hope for me lol? Good analogy though.

Edited August 24, 2022 by Vic1077

[Ge****]

1 hour ago, Vic1077 said:

Made me chuckle that. 

Also I've 2 left feet no rhythm and dance to my own tune OP is there hope for me lol? Good analogy though.

Of course there is!

I see you’re a switch. For the right side of the slash… you just need to learn what you like and are interested in kink-wise, and find a good Top… and voila. Follow their lead.

As a Top on the other hand… always dance to your own tune! But if you want a partner, you’re going to have to teach them that tune! ;). Not a thing wrong with that, is there? Find what works for YOU, and find someone who thinks your brand of crazy (because we are ALL a bit crazy!) is amazing, and show them the beauty of letting you lead the dance.

See? Totally works! LOL 🤪

[South1]

Beautiful writing, couldn't have been said any better

[Ge****]

22 minutes ago, South1 said:

Beautiful writing, couldn't have been said any better

Thank you!

[Li****]

Actually always wanted to start doing some form of dancing with a DD when I manage to find the one! For these reasons expressed and I just think it's such an enjoyable thing to do to connect, mood boost, keep fit, have a hobby.

Very well put!....
But same as above I have 2 left feet so I don't think any style will look good on me but single shower dancing and towel dancing in my bedroom after!😹🙊💁🏼‍♀️

[Ge****]

18 minutes ago, LittleSoulTease said:

Actually always wanted to start doing some form of dancing with a DD when I manage to find the one! For these reasons expressed and I just think it's such an enjoyable thing to do to connect, mood boost, keep fit, have a hobby.

Very well put!....
But same as above I have 2 left feet so I don't think any style will look good on me but single shower dancing and towel dancing in my bedroom after!😹🙊💁🏼‍♀️

And of course now we all want a front row seat for those!! Keep looking. There are great DD’s out there! And while I’m a hella long plane ride too far away, if you have questions about it I lived a DD/lg dynamic for about two years and they truly ARE a lot of fun!

The beauty of being the follower though? The basic step is easy. And with an experienced leader, you’d be surprised just how fast you pick things up!!

[Li****]

49 minutes ago, OldWolf91 said:

And of course now we all want a front row seat for those!! Keep looking. There are great DD’s out there! And while I’m a hella long plane ride too far away, if you have questions about it I lived a DD/lg dynamic for about two years and they truly ARE a lot of fun!

The beauty of being the follower though? The basic step is easy. And with an experienced leader, you’d be surprised just how fast you pick things up!!

Haha. Oh I know. Been there, done it or I wouldn't know I'm into it and it's part of me naturally! No questions I have as again, been in the lifestyle 9/10 years and all relationships have been D/s or DDlg. If you have any questions in return, always a message away though.
They really are an unstoppable kind of connection to have for both parties and I knew from the get go I'd never be vanilla and once you find your kinks specifically, you know you'll never look back!
Very true! Just need a good guide and I may find a right foot and a new interest 💃🏼

[Ge****]

49 minutes ago, LittleSoulTease said:

Haha. Oh I know. Been there, done it or I wouldn't know I'm into it and it's part of me naturally! No questions I have as again, been in the lifestyle 9/10 years and all relationships have been D/s or DDlg. If you have any questions in return, always a message away though.
They really are an unstoppable kind of connection to have for both parties and I knew from the get go I'd never be vanilla and once you find your kinks specifically, you know you'll never look back!
Very true! Just need a good guide and I may find a right foot and a new interest 💃🏼

Well put. Well played. I tip my virtual hat to you!!