Thoughts of a female sub on kink dating sites

[Harley-Q]

Been sitting here thinking about something I saw someone else wrote on another site and it got me thinking as a female and a submissive....yeah I have some pictures up....granted they are not as sexy as some...but they are there because I feel like I look good in them...and yes so that a potential partner can see a bit of what I look like...not to get comments in my in box like "nice tits they would look better with my dick in between them"...The amount of just hook up messages I get is just ridiculous....just because I'm submissive also does not mean that I will be submissive to you just because you consider yourself a dominant....My submission comes at a price... You have to earn that gift....You want a submissive of your very own? Get to know them....learn about them as a person don't just slide into their DMs trying to act all big and bad.....and for the love of the gods....quit announcing that your an alpha male....if you have to say it then you are not for those that really are will radiate it in their presence and have no need to say it.

[da****]

Way to say it! Am fed up of this also although am not looking for a relationship I am looking for another dom to train me but even so they need to earn my submission am not just gonna be sure lets to go to any Tom dick or Harry !

[FreedomTriumph]

Yes so true.

[jd****]

Sorry you have to deal with that

[ge****]

Sadly it's not just being a submissive that attracts that kind of unwanted attention - it's being a woman.
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And even more sadly it's ever been thus and probably will always be that way - too many men see the "sex site" sign in their perception and lose sight of all the values of decency, respect and consideration, not to mention attraction, chemistry and connection, and think sending messages of the type you, and women the Internet over receive on a daily basis.
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All you can do, though you shouldn't have to, is use the block button and if necessary the report one too.

[Deleted Member]

It’s endless! Pick the worst offenders and send them to Bye Felipe! (If you don’t know, go look, it’s great for light relief, share the pain) 😏

[BigPolly]

Sadly this post gets put up by many on a regular basis, I don’t think you’ll ever stop dicks thinking they have the right to control everyone.
You’re spot on, a radiating presence is huge in defining someone 😊

[do****]

I respect that very much. But not everyone is like that once you approach them trying to start conversation it's an auto oh we don't connect. Like there's different ways to approach different people from what I see and understand so far as a dominant male but the welcoming approach isn't always a good view on our path sometimes.

[Ar****]

Totally agree, ... I do not want to be with a sub for just pleasure SM play. But for the before and after, and the continues growth of the relationship.

[CopperKnob]

There are so many of posts, essentially asking others to be respectful it's tiresome. I know that some read and change their ways but, I think that its really about new people continuing to sign up and it's a loosing battle

[Br****]

I get it all the time too. I even hid my slightly spicy pics and don't add people as a friend until they know me. I'm tired of these messages myself straight off the bat. It's so frustrating. You just know these people know nothing about being a real Dom/top. At least I can use it to release some bratty/bitchy energy towards them. So there is that.

[Ar****]

6 hours ago, domforhissub said:

I respect that very much. But not everyone is like that once you approach them trying to start conversation it's an auto oh we don't connect. Like there's different ways to approach different people from what I see and understand so far as a dominant male but the welcoming approach isn't always a good view on our path sometimes.

I'm a little confused by this, I'm not making assumptions but would you mind clarifying? It seems at first as though you're suggesting people dismiss others without a reason - age, location, looks, kink preferences, not looking for new conversation, simply doesn't feel like it that day etc.

And then this bit about there being different ways to approach different people and a welcoming approach not always being a good view... unless you're talking about the people who literally put a green light up on their profiles ("Hi, hit me up with what you'd want to do to me" or similar), that's reading awfully like an endorsement for some of the negative approaches/behaviours the OP is highlighting.

[so****]

It's the same for men. Im a dominant-leaning switchy type & I get TONS of bullshit messages from women & gay dudes alike lol it doesn't really bother me, to the contrary it's sort of flattering so many people are into me 😋 as someone who never got much attention in school or my early years, I don't mind as much as others do. People can be crude, lewd & rude, yes. But I just ignore the ones I don't like lol I suppose it's different for me since I am a very physically fit man, very capable of handling & defending myself if necessary. But all those creepy shitty messages, just ignore them. Best advice I can give because no matter what site you go to, the creeps & pervs will always be there. It's just part of life. Good luck though 👍🏻🌹

[ol****]

Ladies, there is no answer to this problem other than not using these sites, assuming you've deployed all of the filtering tools available to you. 

If I can be honest with you there is no barrier to a bloke signing up on this site. Even if they get banned then they can sign up again after a few weeks with a new email address. If I choose I can be anybody I like on line by simply creating a profile. I can even change sex if I want to. I was once propositioned on here by the famous pornstar Ashley Fires!

There are a bunch of fat mysoginistic guys sitting behind keyboards perving on your pictures in their stained underwear. They get off on sending innappropriate messages or dick pics, probably not their own dick though. A lot of the porn made today probably does not help this problem. I think more could be done, like guys maybe should not be allowed to message without a fully filled in profile but see above comment.