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It broke me


South1

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Posted

When will I ever be good enough?

When will he see what I am capable of?

When will I earn the right the kneel before Him and present my soul body and mind?

When will it be seem that I am a good submissive?

When will I be allowed to be a submissive worthy enough of His Dominance?

 

I have everything to bare in a dynamic, I want the same things, I can present myself daily, I can be there, serve, honour and represent the way that is expected of me. I can be there to support, love amd reflect His image. So close yet so far from reach. 

The yearning for the opportunity has never left my soul. The daydreaming and the imagining ways I can serve never stops. It never stops. 

And yet I have this huge hole left in my heart because what I had to bare, was never enough. It will never be enough, even though no one has the love I have to present. 

My heart feels hollow. My mind feels empty with knowing ill never be the one to be chosen as a submissive. 

 

I want to walk from this lifestyle. It really did break me. And seeing someone serve in the place I'd give everything in my life up for, what's the point anymore? I was broke into a million pieces without even being allowed to show my potential. How long until it happens all again?

 

DaddyDoublestuff
Posted
You're a very beautiful woman you are enough. I wish I can say the same for myself. Been alone going on 8 years. I'm still trying to find myself to make myself whole by myself. Once I found out I am a caregiver I have a high need to give my all to someone and become quickly attached. I was cheated on I years and deflect on that I was the cheater. So I felt horrible having somebody leave me when I gave them my world for then and their kids. Let me know how long it take to recover I still am
Posted
31 minutes ago, KetoChris said:

You're a very beautiful woman you are enough. I wish I can say the same for myself. Been alone going on 8 years. I'm still trying to find myself to make myself whole by myself. Once I found out I am a caregiver I have a high need to give my all to someone and become quickly attached. I was cheated on I years and deflect on that I was the cheater. So I felt horrible having somebody leave me when I gave them my world for then and their kids. Let me know how long it take to recover I still am

I don't think we do recover 

Posted
Healing and taking care of yourself is very important! A believer negative attracts negative. Doing this at the moment.😁
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