Masochism/pain tolerance

[se****]

Can you be a masochist, while also having a low pain tolerance?
Yes the definition of masochist, is someone who receives sexual gratification from pain/humiliation.
But is there a limit?

I feel like I’m asking a question that doesn’t really have an answer, so this is strictly opinionated i guess. Because technically i guess you could say, to each their own. But I’d like to know everyone’s perspectives.

I’ve read multiple articles and books about it, and typically everyone says something different. Some say if you can’t handle extreme pain, then you’re not a masochist. some say pain is pain, so if you enjoy it then you’re a masochist.

Me personally, I think you have to experience different levels of pain before you can claim masochist. My current sub says, she likes being spanked with my hand. But not the paddles, because they hurt too much. And she claims to be a masochist, but she also express to me that she feels like she isn’t because she can’t take a high level of pain.

I just wanna know different opinions, do you think there’s levels on masochism? Like can you be a 4/10 masochist? Or are you just not a masochist at that point?

[ey****]

in short as you say - a masochist is someone who receives gratification from pain.

But, before playing with a masochist it is important to understand where they sit.  If there is particular types of pain they prefer, or need.  It's definitely something where you need to communicate mutual understanding of what the term means to you both alongside associated likes

[DeviantInside]

Ok so I think this plays heavily into the dangerous misconception that if you don’t want to, or aren’t able to do x,y or z then you’re not a “true” sub/slave/masochist. This can lead people feeling they have to do certain things or push themselves further than they are comfortable with, along with feelings of inadequacy or failure etc. which both get heavily preyed upon in less than healthy relationships.

So looking at pain in particular my view is everyone has their own personal tolerance. And this may be down to several things, physicals and mental. There also may be some types of pain they enjoy and others they don’t, again for various reasons. If they enjoy any level of pain then that makes them a masochist, it may not be all they enjoy though so how much of a masochist they are I would say is how much it plays a part in what they enjoy, rather than how much pain they can take.

And no one else is able to experience what they experience so no one else can say what they should and shouldn’t be able to take/enjoy. You don’t know what it feels like for them.

I look at it like taste, or colour. Some people are able to distinguish and experience different levels of taste sensations or colours. Does that mean that some who sees less or different amounts isn’t able to experience joy from either, or that their experience is any less valid?

[Go****]

Pain is unique to each individual that experiences it. There are no set levels of appropriate pain tolerance via masochism.

[ge****]

Why does everything have to be defined to the Nth degree? If you experience gratification from pain/humiliation you're a masochist by the dictionary definition, and that's all you need to know - there are no levels or rewards schemes defined by how much pain/humiliation you like.
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Why people have to over analyse some things I really don't know

[DeviantInside]

In fact if someone experiences pain more intensely at a lower tolerance they may be experiencing more actual sensation than someone with a higher tolerance experiencing supposedly more extreme inflictions.

[Cheekysub247]

I would say im a maso but not a 'pain slut' excuse the term. I like the idea of pain, i like to receive it mildly, i love the marks after, but im just a wimp when it comes to receiving it.
I would say anyone who wants/enjoys pain in any form is a maso, its the level of pain required that might have a scale.

[se****]

It’s not really over analyzing, that’s what these threads are for. For people to express themselves, ask questions, share stories ect. And the grasp other peoples perspectives on things. because something complicated to me, might be simple to others.

[se****]

DeviantInside I’ve never heard anyone put it into perspective like that, but that’s a really good point.

[se****]

Cheekysub247 that’s a very good view on it, I’ve also forgot to mention (which you just reminded me) I’ve known a few people, who said they loved the marks/bruises but don’t like the pain at all. So they only did it for the looks and not the pain, is that still considered a masochist to you?

[ge****]

11 minutes ago, searchingformyslave said:

It’s not really over analyzing, that’s what these threads are for. For people to express themselves, ask questions, share stories ect. And the grasp other peoples perspectives on things. because something complicated to me, might be simple to others.

Well it is in the terms you've phrased it in - which is all about whether someone is a masochist or not based on their levels of tolerance essentially - it needs no further analysis than "Do you experience gratification from pain/humiliation? If yes then you're a masochist, if no then you're not".
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Now yes there is a wider and interesting conversation to be had about different people's pain thresholds etc, but that has nothing to do with whether someone "qualifies" as a masochist which is how you have approached this.
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I think it's also important to acknowledge that the gratification from pain and humiliation doesn't necessarily have to be "sexual" in the strictest sense - I know many spanking enthusiasts for example for whom the pain is the focus and it's not in the slightest bit sexual, either in actions or arousal

[Cheekysub247]

@searchingformyslave i wouldnt want to say if that person is a maso or not, i guess if no enjoyment receiving the pain physically but maybe mentally theres a little something there, the pain is worth the marks. Sometimes for me it's not sexual at all but its a mental thing.

[Ar****]

Yes, it's already been said in the responses already given but how much pain one can take has no bearing on whether one is a masochist, all that matters is whether in some form and to some degree it is enjoyed.

I would suggest that those people whom you've read saying that somebody isn't a masochist unless they can handle extreme pain are also implying that somebody can't be a sadist without going to the extreme too. And that just isn't what sadism has come to mean.

[se****]

@Cheekysub247 makes complete sense, as I’ve said this is just strictly to get other peoples opinions and experiences ect. So I’m glad you have good answers, because I’ve known a lot of masochist and i tend to ask them all this questions too. And it’s always a different answer, so i guess if you consider yourself a masochist then in some way you probably are. Rather it’s mental or physical. Thank you for the conversation

[se****]

@aranhis that’s true, I feel like it’s such a simple thing but also something to be easily confused by. My last sub was completely inexperienced, but she thought she was a masochist. Until i really broke it down for her, and taught her a bit more about it. And then she realized that she wasn’t a masochist. Her thing was she wanted to be a masochist because she liked the thought of taking pain/humiliation. But she didn’t enjoy the actual act. So I feel like that’s where it gets a bit confusing.

[CopperKnob]

31 minutes ago, searchingformyslave said:

@aranhis that’s true, I feel like it’s such a simple thing but also something to be easily confused by. My last sub was completely inexperienced, but she thought she was a masochist. Until i really broke it down for her, and taught her a bit more about it. And then she realized that she wasn’t a masochist. Her thing was she wanted to be a masochist because she liked the thought of taking pain/humiliation. But she didn’t enjoy the actual act. So I feel like that’s where it gets a bit confusing.

If someone tells you that they consider themselves to be a masochist, it's not for anyone else to tell them that they're not.
Again, it seems that it comes down to you having your own definitions for something and persuading others to take your views as their own.
That's not what educating, or as you've termed it previously 'teaching' is about particularly if you yourself find it 'confusing'

[se****]

What are you talking about? Better question what is your problem? I agreed with almost everyone here, and nobody here has had a problem with anything I’ve said besides you. Never once did i say “I get to determine if you’re a masochist or not” i said in the beginning “this is all opinionated” so I wanted other peoples opinions and perspectives, and we were all have friendly, civil and mature conversations. I haven’t once tried to persuade anyone here to do anything, they’re telling me their pov and thoughts, and I’m sharing mines with them. Respectfully I’m not going to change the way I do or word things specifically for your liking. If you don’t like the way I think, or talk. You can kindly just not comment on my threads, because I’m going to remain how i am. You can ask anyone here if they have a problem with anything i said, I was respectful and agreeing the whole time. Im not going to keep going back and forth with you so this’ll be my last message to you, so kindly please just leave me alone. Because my next thread might be something you won’t like how i did or worded, or the thread after that. So on and so forth. And im not gonna argue with you on every thread, if you don’t see this topic confusing, or complicated. Well that’s great for you, but we’re not the same people. Thank you for your input, that is all i have/will say to you after this. 🖤

[CopperKnob]

3 minutes ago, searchingformyslave said:

What are you talking about? Better question what is your problem? I agreed with almost everyone here, and nobody here has had a problem with anything I’ve said besides you. Never once did i say “I get to determine if you’re a masochist or not” i said in the beginning “this is all opinionated” so I wanted other peoples opinions and perspectives, and we were all have friendly, civil and mature conversations. I haven’t once tried to persuade anyone here to do anything, they’re telling me their pov and thoughts, and I’m sharing mines with them. Respectfully I’m not going to change the way I do or word things specifically for your liking. If you don’t like the way I think, or talk. You can kindly just not comment on my threads, because I’m going to remain how i am. You can ask anyone here if they have a problem with anything i said, I was respectful and agreeing the whole time. Im not going to keep going back and forth with you so this’ll be my last message to you, so kindly please just leave me alone. Because my next thread might be something you won’t like how i did or worded, or the thread after that. So on and so forth. And im not gonna argue with you on every thread, if you don’t see this topic confusing, or complicated. Well that’s great for you, but we’re not the same people. Thank you for your input, that is all i have/will say to you after this. 🖤

Every single post you make you give an example of they thought they were/they thought they'd like until I told them x, y, z and then they changed their mind/and then they realised/and then they figured out it wasn't for them
.
The problem is, it's not for you to decide who or what other people are.

[jc****]

Yeah I mean a masochist is just someone who derives some sort of gratification from receiving pain. Doesn't matter what degree of pain, nor if the gratification (or way the pain is given) is sexual in nature. Still a masochist, I'd say.

Like I could ask the same of sadists - is a sadist still a sadist if they aren't into permanent marks, and don't get off on causing serious injury? My answer would be yes. Because all a sadist is, is a person that derives some sort of gratification from inflicting pain on another.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for your thought provoking posts, keep them coming please 👍 I was watching a medical YouTube the other day about the effects of Fentanyl. It messes around so much with the pain signal pathway that when they come down even clothing feels painful (which is why a lot of addicts strip in public and scratch until they bleed). So yeah "pain" sensitivity is very much as experienced by the individual and also very much related to the biochemistry going on in your body. Even some supplements/foods can act as an alalgesic.

[Darkpuppy]

On 10/9/2022 at 1:03 PM, searchingformyslave said:

Can you be a masochist, while also having a low pain tolerance?
Yes the definition of masochist, is someone who receives sexual gratification from pain/humiliation.
But is there a limit?

I feel like I’m asking a question that doesn’t really have an answer, so this is strictly opinionated i guess. Because technically i guess you could say, to each their own. But I’d like to know everyone’s perspectives.

I’ve read multiple articles and books about it, and typically everyone says something different. Some say if you can’t handle extreme pain, then you’re not a masochist. some say pain is pain, so if you enjoy it then you’re a masochist.

Me personally, I think you have to experience different levels of pain before you can claim masochist. My current sub says, she likes being spanked with my hand. But not the paddles, because they hurt too much. And she claims to be a masochist, but she also express to me that she feels like she isn’t because she can’t take a high level of pain.

I just wanna know different opinions, do you think there’s levels on masochism? Like can you be a 4/10 masochist? Or are you just not a masochist at that point?

We all have a pain tolerance of some kind. Some are higher than others. Some like the feeling of pain and get off on it. Some people can handle some sorts of pain while not others. So yeah it all varies. Some can handle breaking a bone but not teeth pulling. Some can handle tattoos but not a scraped knee. Some might like knife play but dislike needles. These things all differ depending on everyone involved. 

Edited February 7 by Darkpuppy