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Distance: Time, Space or Effort?


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Welcome to the community!  Even if you are an old soul around here still welcome.

I was just again wondering what everyone's take on this was:

  • What is your range limitations?

Different nations, different people and different mindsets have wildly different reactions, coupled with the availability.

Some rough numbers just for discussion
In any given area there might be about 30 active women vs 200-300 men, so reasonably a woman looking in their area would assume you never have to go more than 50km to find someone, but the cishet men (comfortably me) having looked and seen that 10 women are the wrong role, 10 are the wrong person and 10 say no would now have to expand their region or leave the app (or wait for someone new).

Here in the Netherlands, it is common that if you travel more than an hour by car that you should consider booking an hotel for the night. In Malta (barring traffic) you can't drive for an hour without getting wet.
In Canada driving 6 hours to see a concert/festival only to drive the 6 hours back straight away is not unusual. In China l really liked how distances were often given in terms of "time by transport" ie "it's 4 hours by fast train" or "16 hours by bus".

So if you do reply to this in any way can you please start with:

  1. Country that you associate as your nation? (May not be where you are)
  2. How far would you drive/train/fly for a fuck?
  3. How far would you travel for a weekend of fun?
  4. How far do you travel in your daily life? (Commercial drivers especially)

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Within the bounds of the UK distance would be no object for me for the right person, especially if they were willing to meet half way.
Further afield then it would have to be a very strong connection that I was pretty confident would translate to in person, or that I was travelling to that area for other reasons that meant I was able to tie in meeting someone as a result.
Do United States here primarily Florida occasionally Michigan. On a recent visit to Michigan I had a guaranteed pull out connection no questions no problems with offer of a hotel room but it was a 6 Hour Dr. one way and I had about 18 hours to spend. 
I discovered that six hours was too far to drive and did not go. in Florida I would do two hours 100 miles no question
I wouldnt go anywhere for sex lol
For a weekend/over night 2-3 hrs public transport is my limit due to commitments and flexibility.
I walk in my daily routine, but bus if i need to go into town which is not often as i try to avoid 😂
I don’t know how to respond to this but I’m really glad you’ve asked it.
London, UK. 45 minutes on the tube. The benefit of benefit here though is that it is densely populated, but with that said, I’ve not met up with a single person on here (yet).
Posted (edited)

1. United Kingdom

2. 0 miles - I'd travel for the chemistry and connection with the right person instead

3. I don't think I have an upper limit on how far I'd travel for fun. I'd go to Australia for the weekend if it was guaranteed to be worth it, but I do think Alton Towers would be cheaper and more practical

4. Most days? Either not at all, a couple of miles, or sometimes about 70 miles.

So, in regard to your main question, I like what seems from your description to be the Chinese approach. A friend and I had a discussion last month about how range - in terms of distance - is not especially practical for many people, particularly those who do not drive such as myself. We mentioned how travel time would be a more sensible criteria for some people. In the context of dating apps, people living on or near the coast might be recommended somebody who lives within their selected radius only to then find that person lives on an inconvenient-to-reach island. People living near a border might find they are recommended people literally living in another country.

My personal case: my ex lives barely 20 miles away, but because of public transport routes it took me an absolute minimum of two and a half hours to get to hers (on a lucky day), it wasn't a pleasant/reliable route and would often take me an hour longer. I can get a train from Preston to London - direct, no changes - which has a journey length of less than three hours. Once I started considering this, I realised that areas in the country I might have previously considered "out of range" (areas in places such as the West Midlands and North Yorkshire) are often far more accessible to me than some more physically local areas.

Ultimately no distance or travelling time is too much for me for the right person, but if I were returning home on the same day I wouldn't want to be travelling much more than three hours in each direction.

Edited by Aranhis
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