Ae**** Posted December 1, 2022 Posted December 1, 2022 Hey. Saw a post of someone leaving the app. The thread mentioned a few sad things about the nature of Fet itself. I had a few thoughts on it :) I realised very quickly upon joining up that, for me, I had to totally disengage from some areas because OMG the negativity is depressing, it's infectious. I do my best to try not to get involved for my own peace of mind 😅 My personal experience is the energy is pretty horrible in some areas. It's like a high school - with leaders and bullying, and a mob mentality. Indeed, this has pushed away thoughtful, kind people from contributing to discussions, and from the app itself entirely. I've privately talked about it myself with some of them. There's a cast of regular characters we see who are the main engine drivers for what we feel is a toxic, unhealthy, unhappy, vindictive culture. One that only welcomes you if you fit *juuuuust* right. It's sad, given how this is meant to be a non-judgmental space. Many who could find happiness, connections, a safe space, understanding or acceptance here, where they can find it nowhere else, end up leaving ASAP or becoming bitter - understandably so. It makes sense as a reaction to what they encounter here. Frustratingly, the characters themselves would claim to embody non-judment more than most - while simultaneously bullying others and creating the suffocating atmosphere, and claiming victimhood status themselves in various ways when needed, such as when they are questioned in their behaviours. Predictably, it seems the case that this is a very small minority that unfortunately has the loudest voice and the most regular engagement with the community and discussions. Some of the contributions are essentially entertaining click-bait (whatcha think of my thread title??? 😉😉😅). Reliably eliciting emotional reactions from a community by focusing with locked, fixed gaze at flaws and they constantly identify. Being cruel and judgmental is frequently masked as defending people - well meaning, ever so riteous. Individuals who are simply human and don't know what they're doing in general are deemed selfish and declared to simply be horrible because of the sin of making mistakes, or having an incorrect view through lack of experience or knowledge. Rather than help with kindness and understanding, there's a steady, relentless, inexhaustible, energetic and enthusiastic barrage of reliable acidity clothed in righteous arguments, declarations, conclusions, accusations and of course, ridicule and mockery. It's sad to think of the experienxe of the bewildered individuals who are unfortunate enough to not fit in *just* right, who don't know better and who have the wrong view or simply don't express it in *exactly* the right way. Hurt people, hurt people. And look thoroughly unpleasant and unattractive in the processes. But they are clearly hurt - so they have my understanding. But OMG being on Fet is like looking at a sexy girl dressed up like my own grandmother. Fun, but can be a mood killer.