om**** Posted July 27, 2025 Yes you were totally right in what you did. Being someone's dominant is not something that is demanded,
om**** Posted July 27, 2025 It must be earned. I would be concerned about anyone who submitted to that when just meeting. It requires a level of trust and understanding of each other that cannot be built I just a short conversation.
Qu**** Posted July 30, 2025 I bit late to this one. I’m just now finding all the forums, and chats and stuff here, but it feels important for you to not hear this enough. You did the right thing.
tr**** Posted July 31, 2025 Absolutely the right thing there has to be a good base of trust and respect between all parties before anything play related happens Always listen to your gut feelings hun
Ch**** Posted July 31, 2025 Hey you did nothing wrong. That’s not how things work. He did nothing to earn you giving him anything. Dom/sub must start and maintain an absolute consensual relationship. First he would need to earn your respect and trust. Handing over control is not something you should do unless you’re comfortable. You agree to call someone daddy not him telling you to. He agrees to call you my pet, my love, little slut whatever. Then he can tell you what to do but in exchange he takes care of you and protects you. Yes there may be some spankings and punishments. However, at any time you can choose not to. Call the safe word and walk out free and clear. Even if you sign a contract it’s by no means legally binding. It’s a transfer of power that “YOU” agree to and agree to maintain. He is obviously new or someone you don’t need to be involved. Possibly a narcissist. If someone is not willing to give you a safe word or give you an out. Do this, turn and run. BDSM has an acronym that should always go with it. SSC- safe, sane and constituent. What he was trying to impose on you is not sane or reasonable. I have some suggestions for books as it’s best to understand what everything means. “50 shades of curious” “Dom's Guide to Submissive Training” (Absolute must read) The narcissist playbook If you have any questions please feel free to reach out
om**** Posted July 31, 2025 No you're perfectly correct in what you did. Even as a Dom I don't expect nor really want a submissive to call me anything until we have met and gotten to know each other first. I do not expect anyone to submit immediately and if they do I would probably be concerned about their past relationships.
Tr**** Posted July 31, 2025 Imo, the dom needs to demonstrate a real-world respect for the sub and their boundaries. They need to establish a level of trust. It is the sub that sets the limits always, not the dom. Otherwise, people will be in situations they don't feel comfortable or even safe in.
id**** Posted August 6, 2025 Absolutely not. He's in the wrong and had the wrong idea of what a "dom" is. Your boundaries are important
Pr**** Posted August 7, 2025 You handled that very well!! You are definitely in the right here! I struggle with that alot too. It drives me insane that because we exchange 1text I'm instantly being told to do stuff send this do that blah blah Doesn't work like that Pal! A true Dom earns submission not just the guys who say "Daddy" then just bark orders at you and shame you when you stand up to them and stick to your Boundaries! Good for you Girl! I'm proud of you 💋
ma**** Posted August 7, 2025 Your fine i had something happen to me like that a dom was very controling wanted to control everything but i live with my parents
Bl**** Posted August 13, 2025 I think you've done everything right. You set your boundries, communicated them and he broke them. His loss and your save hun
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