Please help, was i a terrible person and wrong to block them?

[be****]

Sorry

[BruiseWayne]

18 hours ago, Eastbourneguy said:

Does it have it say the same thing if someone has a temporary ban as well as a permanent one?

I think so? I've only ever known of 1 person who got unbanned tho.

[Li****]

Monday at 02:02 PM, BruiseWayne said:

Just FYI guys as far as the OP goes:

 

'This member hasn't kept within our community guidelines, so we've blocked their profile.'

Hi! Someone thought I was under age so flagged me up. And good for them, better safe than sorry. But I provided ID proof to show im 30 :)

Thanks for all the ongoing support :) what an amazing community :)

[BruiseWayne]

1 hour ago, LittleMaeLou said:

Hi! Someone thought I was under age so flagged me up. And good for them, better safe than sorry. But I provided ID proof to show im 30 :)

Thanks for all the ongoing support :) what an amazing community :)

Ahhh okay. :)

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, LittleMaeLou said:

Hi! Someone thought I was under age so flagged me up. And good for them, better safe than sorry. But I provided ID proof to show im 30 :)

Thanks for all the ongoing support :) what an amazing community :)

Chances it was the "Dom" who sparked this topic being a little b#t*h about being called out?

[j_****]

No you did what you had to. If you surrendered to whoever tried to exert control over you then you’d just be opening yourself up for real *** and exploitation.

[Tr****]

You were not in the wrong and did not deserve to be banned either. Not very nice whoever flagged you! Probably the guy who was annoyed because you would not call him Daddy after 10 messages!!

[Ji****]

I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Daddy or any title is to be earned not expected right away.

[Fi****]

That was wrong of them

[Sa****]

To try to make you cut off communications with others is a pretty big red flag, usually used by manipulators
I think you made the right move

[al****]

Find someone else, if they are neglecting you from the get go it’s a real bad sign.

[Deleted Member]

You absolutely did the right thing you don't owe anything to anyone as a mater of fact the behavior you described sounds kind of predatory to me

[Deleted Member]

I agree with everything you did the right thing it's a red flag if they are trying to control you etc from the start trying to stop you talking to people making friends etc

[Deleted Member]

The guy is absolutely a d**k, let him rot in the blacklist

[li****]

This is dangerous, manipulative, and controlling! No one has the right to treat you in any sort of kinky way without your *prior* enthusiastic consent. Plus, it takes time to get to know someone and build trust, comfort, and most importantly safety

[De****]

You did exactly right. "Sub" is not the same as "anyone's doormat".

[Dubwo]

Yup sounds dangerous. Wouldn’t give it anymore time of day tbh.

[do****]

No just a stupid codependent

[1s****]

In my experience, there is no “right, or wrong” way to “be” in the ever growing “kink” world.

What I HAVE noticed, is there are those in it as a “lifestyle” (living it 24 hours a day, as a way of life), & those who simply enjoy the “experience of playing” (taking on the Dom, sub or switch role only when play time is determined) & then back to living life “normally”, until the next playtime.

And then many are still figuring out how to combine the two, or if they even want to, or not. Many don’t even know there’s a choice.

When a domineering individual, couple or group addresses a sub with demands, I see it as a clue that it’s a lifestyle for them, or they’re simply testing your level of seriousness at be a “born” submissive”, or a selective one, which may be less of a born submissive, but more of a submissive in exploration of one’s position or purpose in the kink community, or a self declared submissive looking for what closest match perceived ideas of what fits best.

When I’m approached with “Hey fag/slave/boy/sub”, or any other pre conceived title, I figure they are serious lifesylers looking to see if my answer fits there expectation. Since I’m not a lifestyler & not immediately looking for a long term arrangement to start (though could be open to it, if such an arrangement builds to that - which is clearly explained in my profile), I point out thet that information is on my profile.

If they’re open to what I’m looking for, they will get it & start a new conversation. If they are only looking for a “no questions asked, serious submissive/subservient/slave lifestyler”, they’ll get the message & move on.

I’ve learned not to let my desires, fantasies & desperation try to change people, or to say “yes”, when the situation doesn’t really fit. Plus, I’m still figuring all of that out as I keep playing through with this journey into the “unknowing” around the kink world, & life itself.

The very mystery of this community & how to interact may be part of the taboo which keeps it desirable, & may be why we haven’t set exact rules, or we just haven’t all gotten together to create clear guidelines, though ain’t that pretty much the same as in life itself?😄

Just be as honest as we can, which sometimes means saying we don’t know for sure about something until we give it a try, or we’re not really ready for certain things & just decline for now. If someone cares enough, they’ll understand that, or they won’t & we don’t need to blame ourselves for that…or we could, but that doesn’t really serve anyone, unless we like to keep torturing ourselves. 😁

[Deleted Member]

Honey, you did nothing wrong, and to be honest, their whole behaviour doesn't sit right, and the dynamic sounds so toxic. Hope you're OK.

[in****]

Not at all the sun dom puts lots of awkward uncomfortable restrictions & I been there being female sub to men doms so I relate tho different stand your ground just delete block them move on !!!

[li****]

Keep him blocked, red flags everywhere.

[Fo****]

You have a beautiful heart. F**k him, he doesn't deserve you.

[Deleted Member]

I have been in the BDSM life for more than 20 years. I have said something about his very topic on another thread on this site, and to a sub that is new to this life. In the first place. Submission is EARNED NOT DEMANDED, EXPECTED or IMPLIED. In the second place, just because you are submissive, doesn't make you his submissive. It takes time to build a BDSM relationship. It first takes Respect, which is EARNED. It also takes Trust, which is EARNED. Stay away from Doms like that, they are wannabe Dominants and are very dangerous. I met a new sub a few years ago, and she had some horrible stories to tell me about her experience with men like him. One guy almost killed her, and another tried to *** her while she was tied to a bed. So no you are not a bad person for blocking him. Talk to experienced submissive women and men. Talk to experienced Dominant men, but when someone expects you to call them a name that means ownership. Tell them to go away. Mastwr, Owner, and Daddy all mean ownership in this type of life. Inam sorry for such a long response but this is something I am passionate about. I want everyone to feel safe, and not under pressure to commit before they are ready.

[hi****]

🚩