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How to deal with rejection?

purplepie

By purplepie
in Kink Academy

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4R****

4R****

Posted
3 hours ago, SeekerJ said:

If you're not failing, you're not trying. Failure is the best teacher and motivator. 

I'm not sure that "failing" is the correct word. Rejection is not failure - rejection is an indication that the advance was made in the wrong direction. That's a lesson, not failure. 

As for your suggestion that "failure is a lack of effort" - think about a child learning to walk, they try repeatedly to stand and walk but fall down more than they actually achieve. But they keep trying, over and over again. Their inability to walk is not due to a lack of effort, it's due to a lack of knowledge on how to achieve their aim. 

Deleted Member

Posted
8 hours ago, 4RCH said:

I'm not sure that "failing" is the correct word. Rejection is not failure - rejection is an indication that the advance was made in the wrong direction. That's a lesson, not failure. 

As for your suggestion that "failure is a lack of effort" - think about a child learning to walk, they try repeatedly to stand and walk but fall down more than they actually achieve. But they keep trying, over and over again. Their inability to walk is not due to a lack of effort, it's due to a lack of knowledge on how to achieve their aim. 

It’s completely subjective. For some, rejection might seem like failure. It’s just a word I substituted. 

  • 2 weeks later...

Deleted Member

Posted
I prefer a direct rejection... maybe I'm weird but it is MUUUCH better than a # of other reactions

Deleted Member

Posted
5 hours ago, KGBdahlink said:

I prefer a direct rejection... maybe I'm weird but it is MUUUCH better than a # of other reactions

So much better than being ghosted or ignored.

be****

be****

Posted
If it's a reasonable one cool. If it's a *** based response to things that someone did to hurt you... I struggle with that. I try not to have carry over from bad experiences but realize I do it too. I'll stay open but you probably won't get two chance to reject me or even do things that make me feel that way. No energy psychologically for all that
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...
SH****

SH****

Posted

I always been the type of man to feel some type of way for like A day and A half and get over it and go on to the next

pa****

pa****

Posted
Ive been rejected on every new intrduction of myself on the site, just suck it up and move on.

Deleted Member

Posted
I work out and eat healthy food so I feel good about myself and it's also part of life, especially as a guy you can't be afraid of rejection it's gonna happen, unless you don't ask anyone ever, the point is it makes you stronger and you just have to wait for that person who sees you for who you are and doesn't reject you right away! Just don't get hung up on it or it will depress you!
Hezzair

Hezzair

Posted
Dealing with recent rejection, and it wasn't even a *me* thing, it was all him not wanting to "commit" even though he is supposedly poly and is married. Whatever, his loss. It's a ding to the pride, but it's not like I was deeply invested. It's more frustration over the waste of my time.
ki****

ki****

Posted
I've come to expect it and it's sad to say I've blocked SO MANY profiles I can't remember how many. Have to keep in mind that you might not be chatting with the person in the pic but someone else, it's brutal in the primordial soup called online dating.
Ch****

Ch****

Posted
I cry and try to move on haha. It hurts for sure but it's much better than wasted time
Ma****

Ma****

Posted
It's more fish In the sea! 🐟 🐠 🎣 🐡 🌊 🦭
bo****

bo****

Posted
It blows. It really sucks when you're in an area with not many people. The pickings in my area are pretty slim on most dating sites, so you can only get rejected so many times before there's no more prospects.
I understand you can't help what you like or don't like, but it really makes you feel less than human.
I know I'm good enough for anyone, though, and if they spent time with me, they'd realize it. I'm talented af, funny, and just nice to be around, but I can't *** anyone to like me.
Just know your worth isn't determined by anyone but yourself.
yt****

yt****

Posted
Not good at all. Very hard to deal with for myself. Do a lot of self medicating
Dz****

Dz****

Posted
Rejection is rough, down to the human level, but always use it to your benefit, focusing on improving yourself, not chasing another. And always remember there is someone or many more out there to meet 💪🙂
No****

No****

Posted
It really depends on how close I was with someone.
If it’s a few chats and gone… it’s nothing and I never miss a beat.
If it’s someone I’ve been close to often or had a lot of good conversation with….. It’ll sting. Losing a connection hurts but depending on the circumstances, it can sting and still be a good hurt if they weren’t respecting me or seeing my value.
I think anymore, the only time it really hurts and makes me evaluate the situation is when it comes in close proximity to something that felt like we were getting closer.
I don’t regret getting close to people, you never know when it could be a really good thing for whatever the reason. Losing that connection is ***ful but not nearly as ***ful as being in the wrong place too long. So I try to think of it that way.
Ia****

Ia****

Posted
If they don't want you then they didn't like you enough, so it's better they said no rather than yes. Just move on.

Deleted Member

Posted
Rejection right from the start, is relatively easy to deal with. I just evaluate and adjust.
It’s after you’ve gotten to know someone and start to really like them or worse…develop feelings for them, that it can sting a bit! 😒
je****

je****

Posted
I am learning rejection, being is sales for work I handle it all the time, on a personal level it’s hard. I have learned not to take it as a reflection on myself some of the time and to move forward with greater purpose.
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