Creepy or normal for a dm?

[Ju****]

Okay so I get a fair share of odd DM's on here, most don't shock me or make me question things. However, today a young fella messaged me....

 

"hi, how are you? do you have kids?"

 

I have not replied to this. This is a first message from someone I do not know. This isn't normal right? What does this matter? Is this a flaggable message as there is no actual offensive words, but I am still concerned this is one of the first things asked. 

Do people DM this? If so, why?? What is there to gain from this? 

I guess I do not see why some randomer would ask me about ***/if I am a parent, it's not something I would ask someone straight away anyway, I cannot comprehend this. And I have no intent to message back to ask why he wants to know in case it's something I may end up fuelled with anger about.

All I will say is this man isn't from my country, and is under 21yr old. Nothing on his profile besides some work out photos. No bio. So nothing to even suggest he may be looking for some form of caregiver or whatever?! 

Advice if anyone has it please :)

[bi****]

if he has nothing to offer on his profile - ignore and move on. simple. As for his question, I will assume that he is asking if you're free and single - ie have no "baggage". You never know with wierdos on the internet but the best advice I can ever give is to simply forget them because its not worth your time to bother remembering every fool that can't communicate properly. Spend your time on those who can.

[Deleted Member]

Ignore it, block him as he has nothing tangible to offer as he is international and move on. Easy.

[Da****]

Or why not clarify what he really means to ask .. it’s so easy to judge and shut down based on assumptions..

[ToniH46]

I would assume he may be thinking of dating and that's something you'd ask at some point. All I can say is that I guess everyone has a different approach. I'm sure you're aware that people are strange and I can't comprehend alot of what people say or do.
No harm done though so block and ignore I guess.

[ey****]

as first questions go - it's fairly intrusive/creepy 

[Si****]

Depends, like where I’m at most young chicks who are hot are afflicted with ***. Maybe he’s jaded based on that, or he could be a chomo ask why he wants to know

[Bobherd71]

It’s not a normal approach, that’s for sure. But ask why without answering the question.
It might be he says he wants a mummy figure, or wants to meet up at school run time.
Or it might just be something really weird in which case you can block him.
A lot of people lose their ability to communicate properly when they are all excited about the subject…

[Ms****]

Send a no thank you or block

[VK****]

Always good to see the opinions of others before I jump in, both hobnail boots first. However, that kind of conversation is for way down the line and is usually volunteered by the lady, often quite innocently as in "sorry for the late reply, was picking the kids up from school". Mentioned in an icebreaker is rather too forward imo, whatever his motives were, malign or friendly. Given that he's from another country, not so worrying, but could still have moved into asking for pics of them etc...or not. I'd put this in the questionable behaviour category. Block, delete and move on Jen. 

[ar****]

Maybe it's different for women (lots of guys sending them creepy or disgusting messages), but I personally don't see that opening question as enough reason to just bluntly block him.
.
Some people are more open than others, some cultural norms may also differ. And some people are still learning how to act according to social norms. If you think it's a weird question, or want to know why he's asking, then the only way to get an answer is to ask him.

[Ms****]

My private life is just that! Private, if I choose to share something that’s on me!

[VK****]

30 minutes ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

Depends, like where I’m at most young chicks who are hot are afflicted with ***. Maybe he’s jaded based on that, or he could be a chomo ask why he wants to know

I've not heard of kids being an affliction before! Sounds like a disease. I get that some men don't want the extra 'baggage' but others like the idea of occasional trysts with ladies who don't want live in lovers while they focus on the kids.

[Veronika77]

Or it could be a kink of some kind? Who knows but what’s Important is how you feel about it and if you’re uncomfortable than block him I changed my settings so only certain age people can message me. Even still if it doesn’t float my boat blocked

[VK****]

5 minutes ago, Veronika77 said:

Or it could be a kink of some kind? Who knows but what’s Important is how you feel about it and if you’re uncomfortable than block him I changed my settings so only certain age people can message me. Even still if it doesn’t float my boat blocked

I've re-checked her profile. Jen seems to have a house with a wide open door. Windows and back door too (fnarr!). Welcomes everyone of all ages (I suspect) and genders (I can see) , so while I get your kindness and consideration, very much, it's not who the lady is. So the garbage will arrive unfortunately. 

[Ju****]

Thanks for the comments. 

 

I have not outright blocked him. Nor have i replied. 

 

It doesnt matter to me where he is from or what age he is. 

What did unsettle me is how immediate he asked me that specific question. 

Ive been on here over 2.5yr and I've never once had this before. 

No matter who can or cannot dm me or view my profile (that wasn't the debate), it's solely the question I was wondering about. 

 

Tbh I am not wasting time and energy on him. But more the curiosity and potentially the back up mentally, that as i believe it to be, its unusual. 

 

My profile states i am not into anything daddydom or ddlg. So id be surprised (assuming hes read it) if it relates to that but i do not want to respond and open that window via dm and potentially get upset if i did pry and got something back I didn't want to see or hear. 

 

.....

 

As for the "hot chicks" afflicted with ***.... that comment is embarrassing. I am also not a fan of people who refer to *** as "baggage". Should anyone ever have dm'd me with such views I'd probably block at that. 

 

Thanks folks. 🌟

[VK****]

2 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Thanks for the comments. 

 

I have not outright blocked him. Nor have i replied. 

 

It doesnt matter to me where he is from or what age he is. 

What did unsettle me is how immediate he asked me that specific question. 

Ive been on here over 2.5yr and I've never once had this before. 

No matter who can or cannot dm me or view my profile (that wasn't the debate), it's solely the question I was wondering about. 

 

Tbh I am not wasting time and energy on him. But more the curiosity and potentially the back up mentally, that as i believe it to be, its unusual. 

 

My profile states i am not into anything daddydom or ddlg. So id be surprised (assuming hes read it) if it relates to that but i do not want to respond and open that window via dm and potentially get upset if i did pry and got something back I didn't want to see or hear. 

 

.....

 

As for the "hot chicks" afflicted with ***.... that comment is embarrassing. I am also not a fan of people who refer to *** as "baggage". Should anyone ever have dm'd me with such views I'd probably block at that. 

 

Thanks folks. 🌟

It was in quotes, so not my opinion but the reprehensible term that others use. Just to clarify.

[Ben9169]

I think it’s odd but reckon I could explain he’s thinking message me and I’ll explain don’t wanna put it on here . X

[Lord_Talion]

Could be not wanting to be with someone with *** or waiting for the no response to which he'd ask if ya want any. Either way it's jot a flaggable question, but it's also not an proper first message. The hidden innuendo make ya with they just say "nice shoes, ya wanna f*k?"

[th****]

Huge red flag to me to be honest

[sh****]

Can’t play at your house if the kids are home so it restricted to when kids are at school working mday to Fday and only having weekends . I would say that’s the reason behind it

[Si****]

4 hours ago, VKD said:

I've not heard of kids being an affliction before! Sounds like a disease. I get that some men don't want the extra 'baggage' but others like the idea of occasional trysts with ladies who don't want live in lovers while they focus on the kids.

I chose the word affliction specifically for that reason, I just find it funny bc a lot of people talk about having kids and responsibilities that way. I actually dated a woman with a kid and it was awesome, until it was time to end things. Probably never gonna date another one with kids though, however it’s made me sure that i want to have some with the right person.

[Ob****]

I'd say leave it alone on the basis of the profile being so far from anything of interest to you.

It's interesting to see the way it affected you. What do you think is behind that. I've looked at your profile a few times before reading and commenting on this post. You've got a great, attractive and happening profile. Keep being you.

[ne****]

Whenever they start expressing interest in my daughters
A gigantic red flag goes up
Block
Delete
Etc

[Deleted Member]

Definitely a red flag!