Confused

[CDerRach]

I’ve always treated ladies with respect and kindness.

Then, recently, somebody told me a story of how they were tied up, slapped, degraded and then cum on.  I was absolutely appalled but then she said that she loved it and couldn’t wait for the next time.  This got me curious.

I searched for porn of this type and was surprised that I was turned on by it.  I didn’t understand why or how.

I’m really not sure I could do this in real life.  Does that make it a fantasy rather than a fetish?  Also, would I enjoy it being done to me or just watching it done to others?

Argh, so many questions!

[ey****]

there are assorted ladies I know who are into humiliation to one degree or another - and it really shouldn't be a surprise.  

Porn can be a weird one in the sense there are ladies (and men) who do shoots akin to what they particularly enjoy and those because they're good at it and it pays (there's stuff I'm into which I film all the time.  There's stuff I'm not into I film cos it pays - the two aren't mutually exclusive)

For assorted reasons, there's some men who can't get into the idea of humiliating someone else - even if they might enjoy watching it - and that's ok.  Different folks like different things.   

 

[Deleted Member]

It's personal preference some women and men like and get off on the degrading and humiliation.
You said you've always treated women with respect and kindness which I'm sure all women appreciate, but even in performing the degrading and humiliation it can be done with respect and kindness... Aftercare is key to that and clear communication beforehand on their limits within that.

You can also be turned on by something even if you're not interested in taking part in it... It's purely human nature.

[Li****]

It's an interesting and fair couple of questions in my opinion.
I can watch it, and enjoy it to a point. Irl?? I never thought I'd want anything to do with degradation or humiliation as it rings bad with me entirely (personal reasons and for me soecifically- no judgement to others who do enjoy). I'm lucky to have experience of a man asking me if I'd enjoy the names used or if he was able to slap me. (Before I'd only experienced spanking and love it). We came to find I do enjoy slaps in all kinds of places, but it took me a while to progress to face as it felt like an action of him degrading me. Now we've gotten to a place he can slap me (lightly) on the face and I've made clear which names are okay.
I hope that personal experience helps explain a bit? I'm basically saying it can change over time and when you're comfortable with someone. I'd say I'm into light play of this now, but I'd never be okay with the far and extremes as like you- I really need a man to be respectful, gentle, attentive, well mannered in most regards before and during, even after! Hence loving the rough Dom side of a man, but really needing the Daddy, soft and nice part too😅🥰
Hope it helps and good luck on the venture!🙏🏽

[Li****]

*also, to answer your questions...the only way to make any clarification on it, is by doing so. I'm not saying rush in, all guns blazing. But try light degradation (after consent), with a partner or on yourself. (It's up to you whether you want to try to experience it on you first, or on a partner).

You may find you only enjoy inflicting it, or indulging in it on yourself.
You may find you only like some senses of the play- led on a leash, name called, slapped, put in a corner.
Some things of course, we know we don't need to try to know it isn't for us! But this sounds like you may enjoy the exploration!😉

[SophieSubSlut11]

Consent. If someone has asked for something and you also want to do it and both have consented to it, that’s all it is. Don’t worry at this point if it’s a fantasy or a fetish.

Any level of degradation/bondage, is pretty common.

Just make sure you put in place - safe words and boundaries beforehand. Never assume this kinda stuff ❤️🙏

[SophieSubSlut11]

If my D partakes in some fun with me that I have asked for. That’s because we are in a dynamic.
If somebody else thinks they have a right to talk to or treat me in a certain way, they’ll get a punch. Consent. There’s a difference

[Ch****]

There is a duality to this lifestyle. I can respect a woman, love her, care for her, while also telling her she is a worthless wh0re and degrading her in every way you can think of, and probably a few you can’t.
.
My respect for woman has not decreased with my time in this community, if anything the opposite is true.
.
Explore slowly, and enjoy the journey.

[Bi****]

Well said Chesterfield. The two aren't mutuañly exclusive. Degredation administered by a master who ultimately cares for and is pleasing and fulfilling the darkest fantasies of a woman aren't expressing a lack of care. Ideally it's the complete opposite. A willingness to explore primality and even slight violence, in the service of fulfillment and stimulation. It has a lot to do with the mindset and whether it's something that's desired by your partner.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you where are all the good Doms at!!
Dear confused: I am a submissive and having a Dom treat me with respect is the first thing you learn in the lifestyle then you learn what turns you on and then you find a like minded submissive woman who likes the same thing you do. It’s not an easy process it will be hard it’s more than a regular relationship because their is a lot more trust that goes into a Dom/Sub relationship. The difference between fantasy and fetish is until you do it in real life it is fantasy once you preform the act a couple of times you are trying a fetish. This is just my opinion I have been around awhile. Lee

[se****]

2 hours ago, SophieSubSlut11 said:

If my D partakes in some fun with me that I have asked for. That’s because we are in a dynamic.
If somebody else thinks they have a right to talk to or treat me in a certain way, they’ll get a punch. Consent. There’s a difference

This is off topic. You found a pot of gold in this jungle. Congratulations with your D/s relationship!✨👏🤗💖

[SophieSubSlut11]

3 hours ago, seonny said:

This is off topic. You found a pot of gold in this jungle. Congratulations with your D/s relationship!✨👏🤗💖

Thank you ❤️

[Firefox_]

Everyone's different. And if you both consent then great go for it. I love being tied up, humiliated with praise and cum on 🤭 also the person you're with can also change what you'd want out of it too

[Ripleylane]

Being tied up and cum on is amazing. My only tip... avoid the eyes!

[bi****]

I’d always wanted to try to sub, specifically bound and flogged, but I never felt comfortable and respected enough to talk to anyone about it until I met my husband. Years of consistency and unwavering respect and love has made me feel more than comfortable enough to sub for him completely. Being a dom is a privilege, a right to be treasured and earned.