Jump to content

The Epic Story of my First Munch


Recommended Posts


So i'd been building up more confidence in attending events. A munch was somehow the scariest thing to me...i just imagined the awkwardness and horror of being at a dinner party and not knowing ANYONE.

But this one looked do-able...not only was it at my favorite restaurant/pub in Pomona, the hostess had messaged me months prior here on fetlife, so although we had never met in person, i knew we had some things in common and she was kind of a friend. So, at least i would know SOMEONE, kind of!

As i rounded the corner and drove past the venue, i caught sight of the hosts chatting with another attendee. Of course i recognized my hostess friend and her boyfriend. They saw me as well, and waved at me (oh no, now i couldn't back out and leave like i did the previous time, i'd already been spotted!). Upon closer look, i see that the guy they are chatting with is someone i'd met a few years ago, when i was brand new to Fetlife. What were the odds!

i quickly find parking and walk up to where they are all gathered. i see there is now another man as well. So there are five of us, total. Everyone seems to know the host couple---at least the hostess. Which doesn't surprise me, she is very outgoing and friendly. A real "free spirit".

So much of a "free spirit" that you could definitely classify her as a "hippie".

She had messaged me months prior to the munch. She was kind of new to the area, having moved down here from one of those bastions of hippies/free spirits..Portland, San Fransisco (maybe both!). Seeing that we lived close to each other, she had reached out, wanting to make friends, contacts, see what good places were to go. She had been involved in some Kink and Sex Positive communities up north and was looking for "her people" down here in So. Cal. i told her about some nice art-centric places as well as some Kink/BDSM places and we kept in touch a bit on fetlife.

Now her boyfriend (her "daddy"), on the other hand...he was more like the type of guy who just wants to have sex with as many hot and freaky women as possible, without putting any effort into it. i know this for a fact from looking at his fetlife posts where he literally says things like, "I don't want to meet you for coffee or get to know you. I just want to fuck. Why you trippin?" Their differences were further highlighted in the way that she had gone about befriending me---on a platonic, genuine friendship level, while with him, well, the first time i ever directly heard from him was also via a private message...sent randomly, in the middle of the night, containing more or less those three dreaded letters..."DTF?"

So, meeting them in person was definitely interesting. She: the social butterfly trying to create a community and be herself. He: quieter, level-headed, waiting for the clothes to come off and the freaky times to begin.

In retrospect, the strange combination really made it seem like they were there to recruit people to have sex with/create content with. This was before the rise of OF, but they listed their cam and porn sites on their profile pages. Nothing wrong with creating content, camming and amateur porn, but then again, you don't want to go to a munch and feel like you are at some sort of bizarro sex club time share seminar, either.

So we all walk in together and sit down at a long table. On one side, it's her and her daddy. On the other side, it's the young man i had met before on one end, the other guy in the middle, and me on the other end.

The youngster that i had met previously was in his twenties (a youngster to me!). Physically young, but also seemed really young mentally/emotionally/socially. i had gone out with him before i really knew how all this Kink/BDSM/Fetlife stuff worked...but once i met him in person, i could see that he was a nice kid, but no one i could ever take seriously or would want to play with.

He seemed very sheltered and controlled by his parents, the type of modern young person who lives their life online (he was always going on about weird, intense drama involving people he knew from chat rooms) and didn't seem to have experience with women, sex, jobs, careers, being skilled at hobbies or social interactions, or achieving goals. A completely different type of person and growing-up experience than i was/had at that age.

The guy i was seated next to was in his thirties. Man, i gotta tell you, he talked nonstop! i really mean it too. Looking back, i'm not even sure how he ate any of his lunch.

During the course of his monologue, i picked up on the fact that he lived on the same street as me...a small street in a small residential neighborhood. Turns out we live two short blocks away from each other! i also learned that he is an artist, and a beginner or intermediate rigger (Rope Top).

Then there was me, just trying to make sense of it all.

Even with the very different, very strong personalities there (or maybe, because of), the conversation flowed and it was really pleasant! It really helped that i already knew the hosts via online connection, and had met the younger guy in person. And after listening to the rope enthusiasts' life story, well, after an hour i certainly felt like i knew him, too.

After the good food, beer and good conversation, i was feeling expansive, generous, and wanting to keep the party going as they say. i knew that the hosts smoked weed, so i mentioned that i had some, but didn't live alone so wasn't at liberty to invite everyone over.

They took my hint and offered up their house, a few miles south of the venue.

All five of us got in to our cars and convoyed over to the hosts' house. As the smoke drifted, so did the conversations. The hostess showed me some of the art projects that she had done. i made fun of the young guy who, having no tolerance for weed, promptly started to fall asleep sitting up on the couch. The host ("daddy") was always there in the background, seemingly just waiting for the action to start.

i finally got a word in edgewise to the rigger, and let him know that we were neighbors, and that i was a bit of an artist as well. And also that i had a strong interest in rope. For a few moments at least, he didn't talk and took in what i said.

Of course the hostess heard this exchange and of course, she had some rope in her extensive toy bag. It just seemed natural and very agreeable to all that the rigger do a few ties on any volunteers!

The hostess went first. i'll never forget how she threw off her barely-there top as she took a seat on an ottoman in the middle of the living room. A total flower-child, through and through. Of course i had already gotten an eyeful of her small, pierced breasts and natural body hair at the restaurant, as her deep v-neck blouse kept listing to the side. So, yeah, make that a flower child AND an exhibitionist.

The rigger tied her upper body. It was really interesting to watch someone being tied. Before this, i had only seen photos of it on fetlife. It all seemed very fun, lighthearted, and non-sexual. After he was finished, he told her, "Now try to get out of it!" She happily wiggled and squealed her way out, the thick, shiny, navy blue rope falling from her lithe body in degrees.

i was definitely interested to take a turn in the "hot seat" and the rigger was happy to oblige. i kept my clothes on (luckily i had learned at this point that not all rope play and not all ties equal nudity). He did a similar tie on me, going around my shoulders, upper arms, breasts, lower arms, torso, hands. This was the most intricate rope bondage i had ever been in and as soon as the tie started to take shape, i was in heaven. Suddenly i felt transported, i felt different, i felt comfortable, at peace, safe, and warm.

my reverie was interrupted by some spontaneous giggling from the hostess. i open my eyes, a bit confused. "Wow...how your entire demeanor has changed!" She exclaimed. Everyone agrees, murmuring their surprise and enjoyment of the dramatic change in my face and body language. It was a special moment and a good lesson for me in my BDSM journey. Realizing a bit more what bondage and rope means to me, what it does (or can do) for me.

Tie complete, the rigger steps away to admire his work. A few photos are snapped (with consent, of course!) and i'm just basking in the feeling. A feeling of being safe, being hugged in a warm ray of sunshine. i could just sit there for an hour being happy.

But then the rigger gives the same instruction, "OK, now try to get out of it!"

This catches me off guard. i had been instructed by my Dominant to NEVER remove any bondage or fetish items that he had placed on me. To wait for HIM to do so. Also, i'm not naturally a fighter, a "brat", a primal in my submission or bottoming. i do these things because i love it, because it makes me feel good to feel the sensations of being bound, of being flogged, of being at a the mercy of a trusted person.

i tell him about my previous instructions and that i just can't bring myself to try and bust out of the rope!! Since he is also fairly new on his own BDSM journey, this is a new scenario for him, too. It really is funny: we all may do the same, or similar things, but we all have vastly different reasons for doing them!!

Eventually, he unties the rope. i'm a little sad that it's over, but so happy i got to experience it all. And am definitely kicking myself for not attending munches sooner!!

This was definitely not your average munch, and i don't exactly condone going back to peoples' houses and/or playing with people that you just met at a munch. But sometimes the Kink Gods smile upon us and a unique opportunity comes up. Developing one's own Risk Profile is very important and in hindsight, if anyone there had been out of control or had nefarious intentions, it all could have gone REALLY badly. But, as it were, i felt very safe and comfortable and had my wits about me.

This reads totally respectful and brings up boundaries and rules in a playful manner. It's interesting that putting the rigger's work "to the test" is infact a choice too, rather than a given. As is not following suit when the lady before you stripped down. Very cool to experience no peer pressure here, I can imagine not all experiences (especially by those new to BDSM) will be as wholesome as your description.

I had a visceral reaction to this piece--I felt I could have written it, especially the 

"I was in heaven....comfortable, at peace, safe and warm",.... "I do these things because I love it"...."it makes me feel good"..."being at the mercy of a trusted person"....

You took those feelings from my heart.  Thank you for sharing.

  • Create New...