“It’s a shame you’re submissive”

[Su****]

I know this probably doesn’t mean harm but it’s a phrase that really annoys the f**k out of me.

No, it’s not a shame I’m submissive.
It’s a shame that WE’RE not sexually compatible, big difference.

Unfortunate? Sure.
A shame? No.

It’s who I am, in my blood.
I know these two things are totally unrelated but you wouldn’t say “it’s a shame you’re disabled” to someone in a wheelchair IF that was a dealbreaker so don’t say something similar to someone with different sexual desires.

I can’t change who I am.
So please, don’t try and bringing any more shame than i felt growing up as a submissive male surrounded by “alpha” personalities.

[ph****]

This is one of those spots that I can feel so much frustration I know my words don’t really mean squat. But…
.
Keep on keepin’ on! It ain’t a shame, submission is a f**king gift!

[Co****]

I don't expect anyone meant you any harm. Its a compliment really, on how much they want you .
Its probably still going to happen, you re a Very Handsome Guy.
Try and shift it around to see the Positive.
They WANT you.....YOU are HOT......believe me!

Lucky man. 🥰

[Wh****]

I totally feel your pain bro.. I've been turned down before even as a switch.. and my sub side is only a little percentage of my personality.. most these girls won't even give you a chance if you have just a little submissive bone in your body lol.. it's really hard to find a real Domme on here that isn't a scammer wanting to take all your money

[pe****]

F*** yes king ! the true shame is whoever told you that has forgotten to kill the part of them that cringes . It’s 2023 babey we’ve got bigger fish to fry! Hope you have a good day my friend

[Deleted Member]

Being submissive is the best 🥰 I love it and I don't see it as a shame at all

[Se****]

Good for you bro

[ge****]

Let me guess - said by horny blokes on apps like these who are frustrated because you're submissive just like them?
.
Personally it doesn't irritate me, I place it in the "it's a shame you... live so far away/can't accommodate/won't travel etc" category of irrelevance that people say that has very little meaning.
.
As @CosmicAngelsaid try and see the positive of it that they find you hot and are disappointed that you're not compatible.
.
Also to add I don't think they mean "shame" as in you should be ashamed of who you are either

[En****]

Well said sir!

[Pr****]

Exactly. Well said! Hate when someone says that or then says can you be a switch for me. No, if we're not sexually compatible then move on

[Deleted Member]

You are who you are… Regardless of who you are, there’s no shame in it.
But I’m guessing that the person who told you that was just disappointed that you were not sexually compatible.

[Je****]

It’s a bullshit stereotype … I get that crap all the time. My kink is goddess worshiping and frankly some of the stuff I have allowed to have done to me would have broken most “Alpha” males. On the rare occasion I have had to “deal” with an “Alpha” it never turns out well for them because it’s difficult to inflict pain on a bitch like me. And what most forget is that being a submissive is my choice … one I can and do turn on and off when I choose too. Even during normal session I sometimes flip that switch just so my partner never forgets what I am.

[Ob****]

Like a few others said, I think the person wasn’t trying to shame you, but was disappointed they weren’t compatible with you. Would be nice if people were a bit more considerate with the words they use hey. Thanks for posting, as it’s a good reminder what effect our words have.
Sorry to hear you were shamed as a kid for being who you are. You’re you and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If it’s worth anything, I think there be great strength in submission, something those ‘alpha’ males you grew up with probably have absolutely no clue about.

[Su****]

19 hours ago, Obbork said:

Like a few others said, I think the person wasn’t trying to shame you, but was disappointed they weren’t compatible with you. Would be nice if people were a bit more considerate with the words they use hey. Thanks for posting, as it’s a good reminder what effect our words have.
Sorry to hear you were shamed as a kid for being who you are. You’re you and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If it’s worth anything, I think there be great strength in submission, something those ‘alpha’ males you grew up with probably have absolutely no clue about.

I agree. This was a very early post I’d written elsewhere back on another site. It resonated with a fair few people back then so I felt it might be worth sharing for others now. I definitely see it as a compliment to some degree because ultimately it’s showing a form of lust that we all can take value from 🙏🏼

[Yo****]

You are 100% right! And I’m a kinky woman in a wheelchair.