Cuddling is not very dominant.

[nc****]

True or false?
I shared a posting in a ‘Dominant’ Facebook group that wrote “Cuddling and falling asleep together is probably the best feeling in a relationship”. And that is what I got in response.

I understand that it wasn’t a popular choice for a post, as opposed to the usual BDSM-related memes. But then, Facebook wouldn’t be the right place to get the right informations and experience-sharing.

Personally, my dominance is a display of trust, love and affection. Cuddling is one way I do that. It is very important my partner feels safe and protected.

On the other hand, a lack of cuddling means that there's probably a lack of emotional connection. No matter how dominant one can be, it is futile if he doesn’t connect.

[littlemiss37]

I think cuddling is good dominance to show ur kind and caring and affectionate x

[Wi****]

As a Dom, I feel cuddling is an important part of aftercare. Not that that's the only reason for cuddling.

[nc****]

6 minutes ago, WildGaWolfman said:

As a Dom, I feel cuddling is an important part of aftercare. Not that that's the only reason for cuddling.

Absolutely. But I wasn’t going to go into that on Facebook. I don’t suppose the members in that group would know much about it. I joined the group purely out of amusement. Lol

[Je****]

My thing is Goddess Worship. I serve as a bitch to the desires of various Goddesses who have my consent to do whatever they want to me with the limitations of death or permanent bodily damage . I have gained a very very deep respect for women and how they chose to express their dominance. Although I have been made to do some disturbing stuff by far the most psychologically damaging thing I have had done to me is “cuddling” after a session. In my case having to cuddle forced me to reflect on how different I am in the way I show affection to what I assume most people do.

[Ra****]

Cuddling is/could be apart of the aftercare process. Can't be hard 24/7, you won't get all of the sub by doing that. Showing a bit of compassion via cuddling would/will get you more than beating a**

[Ru****]

It’s more then just that. It’s care. People want to feel wanted.

[Deleted Member]

38 minutes ago, JerseyDmat said:

My thing is Goddess Worship. I serve as a bitch to the desires of various Goddesses who have my consent to do whatever they want to me with the limitations of death or permanent bodily damage . I have gained a very very deep respect for women and how they chose to express their dominance. Although I have been made to do some disturbing stuff by far the most psychologically damaging thing I have had done to me is “cuddling” after a session. In my case having to cuddle forced me to reflect on how different I am in the way I show affection to what I assume most people do.

I understand this

[Deleted Member]

I like aftercare, I love the attention and the attentiveness or a close partner. Personally, I can’t do one without the other 🥰

[Ho****]

That's an interesting thing to say. If anything, cuddling expresses the person's strength in being able to be so vulnerable.

[He****]

I love being cuddled, it makes me feel safe, I prefer a soft Dom to a hard one any day of the week

[Wo****]

Cuddling doesn’t make you less or more Dominant.

I have had different negotiations that involved aftercare and some that didnt.

It’s like saying pegging isn’t a Dominant thing, anal pleasure has nothing to do with your command. Same with cuddling.

[do****]

Nobody is a robot. If you not cuddling there is something wrong . Cuddling strengthens the connection whether you are dominant or submissive

[Et****]

Cuddling is about bonding and trust between a dom and sub. Im a dominant and cuddle my sub. Especially for aftercare.

[Ha****]

Of course it is!
After care is vital

[Sl****]

As a submissive all I want to be is cuddled by my beloved.

As a dominant all I want to do is hold my beloved.

Cuddling is… the foundation of human connection from the most raw physical point of view. It’s the first steps to connecting even further than the physical realm.

Whoever told you that “cuddling is not very dominant” is lol

[My****]

So true!! Especially after a hard impact or rough session, your sub needs to be cuddled, she desires that soft, loving physical connection after. Cuddling shows you aren’t an abusive dom, but a dom who cares, is trustworthy and respects her after the session.

[ar****]

6 hours ago, JerseyDmat said:

My thing is Goddess Worship. I serve as a bitch to the desires of various Goddesses who have my consent to do whatever they want to me with the limitations of death or permanent bodily damage . I have gained a very very deep respect for women and how they chose to express their dominance. Although I have been made to do some disturbing stuff by far the most psychologically damaging thing I have had done to me is “cuddling” after a session. In my case having to cuddle forced me to reflect on how different I am in the way I show affection to what I assume most people do.

I don't get this. If I understand you correctly, your goddess can do pretty degrading/hurtful (physical) things to you, yet getting a hug from them is most damaging in your eyes? If that's so, would you consider yourself a giver, and have issues with receiving/reciprocated love?

[Muso83]

As a submissive I need to feel held and if I’m feeling dominant I want hold of my submissive usually and I it’s not often guys like to be a little spoon it’s a very dominating thing for a guy to get them to rest in a little spoon position.

[x2****]

There is few difference between being a Dom and just being a plain old C##t . Cuddling, caring and connection all sugns of genuine Dominat. Cold, carless cockwobble. They just your regular C##T with a desire to sugar coat that fact with kink

[QXX666]

12 hours ago, ncraze said:

On the other hand, a lack of cuddling means that there's probably a lack of emotional connection. No matter how dominant one can be, it is futile if he doesn’t connect.

Not sure how you get that analogy from? A Dominant can have a good connection with his sub without having to cuddle or kiss. There are many type of dominance or dynamic, so having a sweeping statement of this type show your lack of knowledge. 

[DarkArts1066]

Different people need different things from a D/s relationship. I have known women who wish to be flogged mercilessly for half an hour, and then held and cuddled for two, while they release the well of emotions which the pain and punishment has stirred.

Equally, I know some subs who need to be kept at arms length, and treated coldly and objectively, without any real intimacy -in the true sense. They need to reflect in a different way.

No two stories are the same… and this is yet another reason why good communication, right from the start, and throughout is key.

Also, sometimes during a D/s relationship, needs change. We must always be mindful of this, lest we miss our cue……….

[Je****]

2 hours ago, arnhem961 said:

I don't get this. If I understand you correctly, your goddess can do pretty degrading/hurtful (physical) things to you, yet getting a hug from them is most damaging in your eyes? If that's so, would you consider yourself a giver, and have issues with receiving/reciprocated love?

My particular kink requires me to do acts of service via humiliation and degradation to show my devotion to female goddesses. It’s extremely common for me to be trampled on with and without shoes, lick shoes and feet as well as having my face used as a footrest for hours while goddesses relax. Goddesses will also make me perform sexually gratification tasks for them such as eating a** or going down on them for prolonged periods with no reciprocation. I have be used to clean a goddess after she pees and on rare occasions goddesses have made be serve their friends. Where it gets weird for me is when I have done several of these tasks to satisfy my goddesses most primal desires and after they wish to cuddle and be held. Of course I do as I’m told it’s just outside my comfort zone. Honestly it rarely happens and usually when a goddess has an emotional reaction to an experienced of having done something with me she never expected and needs to be ok with it.

[Deleted Member]

I agree wholeheartedly cuddling strengthens the bond between D/s it's shows that you have a softer side that makes you a human being. As for the domination side of things it heightens it. Myself and my sub have a very good relationship both as that and as partners . Everyone is different everyone requires different things. Nobody has the right to tell you what is good or bad in your dynamic except those involved in it.

[ar****]

1 hour ago, JerseyDmat said:

My particular kink requires me to do acts of service via humiliation and degradation to show my devotion to female goddesses. It’s extremely common for me to be trampled on with and without shoes, lick shoes and feet as well as having my face used as a footrest for hours while goddesses relax. Goddesses will also make me perform sexually gratification tasks for them such as eating a** or going down on them for prolonged periods with no reciprocation. I have be used to clean a goddess after she pees and on rare occasions goddesses have made be serve their friends. Where it gets weird for me is when I have done several of these tasks to satisfy my goddesses most primal desires and after they wish to cuddle and be held. Of course I do as I’m told it’s just outside my comfort zone. Honestly it rarely happens and usually when a goddess has an emotional reaction to an experienced of having done something with me she never expected and needs to be ok with it.

That's interesting. I often consider cuddling a form of aftercare, to make sure any possible (mental or physical) 'damage' inflicted by rough actions does not linger after play and mess up the person involved.
.
There, cuddling is used to comfort and put the other at peace. But for you, it's basically doing the opposite because cuddling takes you out of comfort. Do you normally have some other form of aftercare?