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Sleeping with a friend?

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I have this friend who I have had a thing for and he has had a thing for me. We’ve talked about our kinks and desires and both believe we can handle each other. How do you get over the nervousness of sleeping with each other for the first time? Na show to quickly get comfortable enough to start showing some kinks?
Like any other start to a relationship it’s best to place everything on the table fairly quickly. For a FWB just dump it all out, because why not? Personally for myself if it were one that I deem a romantic long term relationship then I will throttle things a bit but still open up pretty quick. It sucks to have someone fall for you and then for them to be shocked by any kinks shared later and possibly judged. Don’t waste your time or theirs.
Congratulations on finding someone whom your secure enough with to talk to openly and they with you.
There is never a time when your not nervous.
Start slow, easy, do a simple date, then a movie, then a Xrated movie, then a munch, then a club. Then some scenes. Go at a pace your comfortable with. Just remember to talk talk talk, and your SAFE WORD.

Now a warning — careful- this can lead to powerful feelings at eachother.
Good and bad.
You will be mentally HIGH physically HIGH but the come down/let down is also just as powerful…

Talk talk talk. Set limits and boundaries each and every time you play… your soft limits and HARD limits…

My advice, if you want to avoid awkwardness, is simply to start by doing something you would normally do together … go to a gig … the gym, meet in your favourite bar/pub…. Maybe have a drink or two to loosen those final inhibitions (A drink … or TWO - max… ! You don’t want it turning into a session ….!) and then when the time comes, go somewhere familiar.
If you are used to meeting at one of your houses socially- that’s the place for the fun to happen - not a hotel. That will seem awkward, pre-planned, and odd.
Don’t recrimnate afterwards.
It happened.
Hopefully it was fun…. And you both enjoyed it.

You’ve mentioned your mutual kinks and desires, but not gone into any detail about that.
Be clear before this “date” what you both want, what your limits are, and have a safe word in place. It’s easy to overstep the mark in the heat of the moment, and you need a way to diffuse that and keep you both safe.

If you are good enough friends that this works and is seamless, the traffic light system is a great way of extending your explorations - without overreaching.

Finally - good luck to both of you !….. this is a very exciting journey you are on.
I think everyone is nervous the first time, regardless of how long you have known each other. I think you will just be nervous.

I would recommend to be sure you talk to your friend about maintain an open line of communication as well as honesty. Discuss each others expectation such as how you discuss dating others as fwb is typically not exclusive.

Be sure to keep communicating as adding intimacy to a relationship can quickly change how people feel about each other. One woman I met said she could not do fwb because as soon as sex was involved, she would get much stronger feelings and want a relationship rather than fwb.

Good luck, fwb can be a wonderful thing.
Organise an evening watching a movie and open a bottle of wine then get comfortable. Either a sexy movie or a funny one. Make some move like put your hand on his legs or touching him with your feet when there is some action in the movie then get closer. Make an accident move on him like put your head on is shoulder then is he man enough he will read your desire….
Well I was at the same point I thought but to be able to get over all of that you have to let everything u know about each other from the past go and u have to both fully understand and keep a open mind and agree to start from right then and there .... Hope that helps
Just be open and honest about it. Is it just sex or is there room for feelings?
  • 4 weeks later...
Been in the same position. We had a friend date night. Meal few drinks, then home and just let the evening take it's course, don't over think it. Go with the flow
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