Making time

[YorkshireBiker]

There’s is no intention on cheating or having someone on she side, if she - she - decides that’s what’s is best for her then that’s a conversation she can initiate but I still wouldn’t be overly welcoming of that as a solution.

I love my wife and I know she loves me, we will get through this and I appreciate the input and comments. 

[Li****]

3 hours ago, london807942 said:

Going to keep it real, she aint into you anymore, this is why happily married mean have a mistress away from home, just dont tell her or a sjw.

Seriously?
What a narrow-minded conclusion and ridiculous advice.
She isn't into him because she's an everyday hard-working woman, like many others, who also has a ***ager to support at home?
Anyone who recognises that in a partner, then decides to cheat, has no right to the luxury of the partner in the first place.
Not once has he mentioned such a view, idea, thought. And if that's your first resolution, you need to learn a few things.
Commitment is just that. From the OP's post, they're a couple supporting their relationship and seeking advice, not tearing it apart even further. Such advice is part of the problem still today.

[Cr****]

Of course you'd prefer it to be more often and I'm sure she does as well, but speaking from experience- those 12 hour shifts are exhausting. Maybe try to spice things up in ways where she doesn't have to do anything (if she wants to, of course) or both take some time off and go on a trip somewhere for a bit of privacy

[lo****]

Na i think its about how you see yourself and how your partner sees you, if you are not in the class of men who are desired by lots of different women i can see how this might seem alien to you. Hit a night club find someone nice you like and say you married, you not looking for anything crazy thats all and you have a side chick. Its just good sex for the both of you. But don't tell the wife, she mostly know anyways if you are not getting it regularly from her anyways, unless you just watching porn which is worse.

[Cr****]

3 hours ago, london807942 said:

Na i think its about how you see yourself and how your partner sees you, if you are not in the class of men who are desired by lots of different women i can see how this might seem alien to you. Hit a night club find someone nice you like and say you married, you not looking for anything crazy thats all and you have a side chick. Its just good sex for the both of you. But don't tell the wife, she mostly know anyways if you are not getting it regularly from her anyways, unless you just watching porn which is worse.

How is cheating and not telling your wife worse than porn? I mean sure, OP could have an open and honest conversation with his wife about maybe opening up the relationship but telling him to just go out and cheat behind her back is the worst advice I've ever heard.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, london807942 said:

Na i think its about how you see yourself and how your partner sees you, if you are not in the class of men who are desired by lots of different women i can see how this might seem alien to you. Hit a night club find someone nice you like and say you married, you not looking for anything crazy thats all and you have a side chick. Its just good sex for the both of you. But don't tell the wife, she mostly know anyways if you are not getting it regularly from her anyways, unless you just watching porn which is worse.

And I thought you couldn't get worse than your first post - the OP has made it very clear he's not interested in finding another partner either openly with his wife's consent or by cheating.
.
I'm not sure if you're on a wind up or are serious but either way your posts are plain ridiculous and show you've not actually read or understood what the OP has said.

[lo****]

Becuase it solves the problem, the guy is needs sex would be nice to get it from the wife, but she not into it. So get it elsewhere, problem fixed, everthing else is just noise, If you think about it.

[lo****]

7 hours ago, LittleSoulTease said:

Seriously?
What a narrow-minded conclusion and ridiculous advice.
She isn't into him because she's an everyday hard-working woman, like many others, who also has a ***ager to support at home?
Anyone who recognises that in a partner, then decides to cheat, has no right to the luxury of the partner in the first place.
Not once has he mentioned such a view, idea, thought. And if that's your first resolution, you need to learn a few things.
Commitment is just that. From the OP's post, they're a couple supporting their relationship and seeking advice, not tearing it apart even further. Such advice is part of the problem still today.

He after sex, its not complicated, get it from someone else, stay with your wife, celebrates do it all the time. She is free and he is happy noone gets hurt. Easy fix.

[ge****]

17 minutes ago, london807942 said:

Becuase it solves the problem, the guy is needs sex would be nice to get it from the wife, but she not into it. So get it elsewhere, problem fixed, everthing else is just noise, If you think about it.

Where has he said she's "not into it"? Quite the opposite he's said it was his wife suggested he post this for advice as to how they could make more time for each other - that to me suggests she's very much "into it".
.
He's also said he's not interested in finding others, with or without his wife's knowledge, so can I respectfully suggest you quit with this line of reasoning that is both disrespectful to the OP and very wide of the mark!!

[FETMOD-BD]

Just a polite reminder that the original topic is about ways to find more time - not about how to be unfaithful. No more off-topic comments please.

[do****]

Thank you FETMOD because I do not even think he is serious. I think he just trolling for a response 😂

[Wi****]

On the other side. I'm a nurse, and I fully understand where she's coming from of being tired. As a few have mentioned, it would be about what you can do to take the hone pressure off. Allowing them time to relax and feel human again after a crappy shift. Its not just time, it's time to reset your head after the shit shifts she may have had. So time to be herself will give her time to want and be able to enjoy the fun times. Hope it works out and find a solution.

On a side, the affair suggestion is just moronic as they want to enjoy themselves

[YorkshireBiker]

I’m not ‘after sex’ as such, both of us are after more time intimate time together, it’s not me moaning about anything either just to be clear.

I don’t tend to get my point across accurately via text and try to be careful in how I word things, I’ve caused friction in friends group chats before when what I meant to say was read differently by everyone else 😬. 

Things between us have improved a lot over the last few months just from me getting involved in other fet chats and talking to her about what I’ve read/discussed. She wanted to know if it’s just us, or if other people are in the same position and what they have done to make things better and didn’t really fancy sticking something on Facebook  

 

[lo****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

And I thought you couldn't get worse than your first post - the OP has made it very clear he's not interested in finding another partner either openly with his wife's consent or by cheating.
.
I'm not sure if you're on a wind up or are serious but either way your posts are plain ridiculous and show you've not actually read or understood what the OP has said.

Why you so invested in what i have to say to somone else you dont have to agree, no need to be rude. Up to the poster to decided not you. He asked for advice on a public board. Everyone different. So show a little respect for others. Have a good day.

[St****]

3 hours ago, YorkshireBiker said:

I’m not ‘after sex’ as such, both of us are after more time intimate time together, it’s not me moaning about anything either just to be clear.

I don’t tend to get my point across accurately via text and try to be careful in how I word things, I’ve caused friction in friends group chats before when what I meant to say was read differently by everyone else 😬. 

Things between us have improved a lot over the last few months just from me getting involved in other fet chats and talking to her about what I’ve read/discussed. She wanted to know if it’s just us, or if other people are in the same position and what they have done to make things better and didn’t really fancy sticking something on Facebook  

 

It happens to a lot more of us than actually care to admit ! I’m just learning with my second wife how to make more time with her and still re-learn about my wants and needs . Delicate balance .

[ey****]

8 hours ago, london807942 said:

He asked for advice on a public board. Everyone different. So show a little respect for others

If we're talking about respect

this isn't the advice he is looking for and he has already made this clear to you.  You are not respecting him by continuing

 

[Deleted Member]

Quality time with Quality experience alone does the Trick..
get her Chores and duty done for her and give her time to rest and recuperate.. nice dinner with her happy you’ll definitely be happu

[Ja****]

Ensure that you and your wife keep your mutual love tanks full. As in the Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. I’ve learned that when you are both getting the love you need everything else (sex) falls into place. Good luck!