Views on situationships?

[Norell]

Hi,

I've been in non-monogamous relationships for a few years now, but slowly, I've discovered that there's something about the structured approach to relationships that doesn't work well for me. That's actually not too surprising as planning and structure are things I don't really do much of - I have always lived by the philosophy so nicely captured in the quote "A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving".
I do feel love for my partners, and it's usually very intense, but at the same time, I have a strong need to space and freedom, and constantly looking at schedules and planning makes me feel caged (for a lack of a more fitting word). Also, I very much enjoy being on my own and have never had an issue with being single. I'm the kind of person who has never actively sought out relationships - but also don't try to actively avoid them - and I'm the person who feels happiness for friends and family member when they get into relationships, get married or have children while at no point feeling a longing to have those things myself (as opposed to most people I know who actively seek relationships and feel an urge to find a partner, when they see others in relationships).

Recently, I learned about the idea of "situationships", and after reading a bit about it, I'm starting to think this might be a path I should investigate further.

So I would love to hear if you have any of you have experienced something similar to me and how you have handled it. Do you have experience with being in situationships and how to make it work. Also, many sources seem to equate it to friends with benefits, so I would also like to hear, if that's also your experience/view, or if they are two different things - and if so, how they differ.

[Jeromeek]

💯

[Cheekysub247]

Ive had relationships in my past, my present(since having my son) have been 'situationships' as you put it, very good friends that both get something they need from it at the time. Ive had these people for short or long term. It suits what i need at this point in my life.
Long term (later in life) i would ultimately seek out a committed relationship, (obviously non vanilla).

[Deleted Member]

I think the whole situationship scenario as you describe it should be far more widely proposed. 

From my own experience I knew from my late ***s that I had a nomandic spirit to life and did not identify with regular relationships. However due to peer constraints and *** or alienation I went along with the vanilla norm and regretted it. 

Thank you for raising such an interesting subject. 

[Nocturne]

I often see situationships experienced as something frustrating for those involved; a lack of clarity about wants and needs, expectations and boundaries. People not able to figure out where exactly they stand with each other. I like the view on it described in this post however, situationships as something more similar to what is generally known as friends with benefits.

Some of the best interactions I've had were within such a situationship, where actually starting a relationship meant the beginning of the end. Whether it would be more accurately described as a situationship or a friends with benefits ordeal doesn't matter much, the boundaries were clear, and so were the expectations from each other. It was ideal at the time and I would recommend such a connection to people who have similar needs as me and that person.

Not everyone is looking for someone to commit themselves to, regardless of what you might agree on, the cultural norms surrounding a relationships will be pushed upon a pair, and this can be deprecating to the connection these people had, that's what I believe damaged my situationship with a person I deeply cared about. We appreciated and loved each other, but not in a way that I would consider suitable for the romantic view. 

TL;DRL: I think that with clear communication about what you want and expect from each other, for many people a situationship can be more fulfilling than a relationship.