Donnykinksters Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 Kink should be this, or kink should be that. A Dominant should behave a certain way, and a submissive the same? When I first started reading literature about the community, a few years ago, I was led to believe there were shall we say certain ways depending on individual labels, one should behave. Certain protocols, rules or structures we should adhere to, depending again on our perceived roles or labels. Now after a few years Interacting with real people I can see the folly of that, as with those interactions be they online or irl, comes the clear realisation that everyone is so so different, unique, and with that so can be the connections one makes. Kink? It's a choice between fully informed, and consenting adults, to be what the hell they choose to be. It can be a dynamic, or a deeply affectionate relationship. It can be whatever turns you on, physically, spiritually or emotionally. It can be sexual, or non sexual. It's anything and everything, we, as unique souls desire, with fully informed consent, a duty of care, and an open mind. Sure, there are those who choose strict protocols and there are those who don't, neither is right, and neither is wrong. There is only you, your partner, your desires, nothing more. For me, Kink is not Domination or submission, kink is not foot worship or impact. Kink is your mind and heart. Kink is you, your partner and your choices, whatever they may be. Sometimes someone may say you're doing it wrong, but what they actually mean is you're not doing it the way they would choose, but it's far from wrong, merely a different choice or perception, they as unique individuals may have, just like you 😊.
ey**** Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 there's a lot of kinda ideology goes around rather than the reality (the reality being, as you say, everyone is different) the term BDSM in the first place was an umbrella term which brought together lots of different ideas under one shared idea of kink - and D/s is only but one idea, but the one so many default to. I think actually, it's everyone being so different that makes things great
Tilly1505 Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 You couldn't have said it better. My love of BDSM started with a couple. She, the Dominatrix, would cause me to totally submit. Flog me, whip me, clamp me, humiliate me. During the process her husband would offer the comfort and reassurance of his tongue, lips hands and toys. True pleasure and ***, arousal v denial.
Deleted Member Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 Exactly how i am beginning to see it. Excellent post.
ge**** Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 Amen to all that and more - the only person to judge me and my kinks is myself - if others don't like them then they're just incompatible. . The *only* caveat I would add, which I know shouldn't be needed, but sadly there are some that need to know, is that there are some things that *should* be universally considered wrong ways (***, illegal actions etc)
Deleted Member Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 Brilliant post - encapsulates how I suspect a lot of people feel about kink but can't articulate.
Clarakink Posted May 31, 2023 Posted May 31, 2023 Oh, those words sound like they have come from my own mouth. I commend you on breaking the ***y swim lanes that have been created by the thought police of kink. Xx
Ba**** Posted May 31, 2023 Posted May 31, 2023 Yes! Before I actually started to interact with people, I was reading and informing myself on BDSM. I was so confused as to why some people said one thing, but others said another. (Hell, I didn't even know about soft Doms, Daddy Doms, brats, pets, or little when I first started learning.) It is so much more diverse than people seem to think. You can be a switch, a Soft Dom, a Hard Dom, a brat and a service sub. There are so many different ways to be Kinky, and I love it. 💜
Recommended Posts