Deleted Member Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 PLEASE have consideration for your main partner when bringing in others 😏 We notice little stuff like how you tell the other person Good Morning Beautiful!! but the one there gets nothing ... or How you rave about how STUNNING and HOT other people are but the one there spends hours getting ready and gets nothing ... I mean honestly CMon 🙄
Hermetic Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 That is, unfortunately, a common concern when bringing in a third partner. In his mind you are both "courting" the third. You are his partner. You are already "courted" and are now on his team. That isn't fair to you, but most men do not have a natural understanding of how women work. You have to teach him. Tell him this. I know you feel hurt, but if you haven't already had a fight about it or expressed this feeling to him while upset that is a good thing. Approach him calmly, reasonably, and after you have composed yourself from how he hurt you. Then explain what he needs to do.
Va**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 It's so easy to become infatuated with the shiny new toy (pun intended?) and forget about how your main is feeling. Thank you for the post! Never bad to have a reminder once in a while
wi**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 Main partner always gets more attention when comes to romance vs other invited participants
In**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 This is a huge part in why there is a negative stereotypes. You should tell your partner you love them and there beautiful everyday multiple times. It shouldn't feel like work it should feel like love.
Je**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 Stuff like this would be a red flag for me, and make me want to end the dynamic with the third.
Wo**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 Couple things… it’s not tit for tat with partners. Just because one person gets flowers….doesn’t mean you get flowers. YOU have an issue with your partner. Don’t compare how they treat the others…that’s not any of your business and they don’t own you any consideration. The problem is you aren’t feeling loved and that’s between you two.
Ri**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 Everybody gets a message in a morning from me… Alison is first. Then anyone else I’m chatting too whether it’s sexual or just to be friends, gets a positive message in the morning. I think it’s a good way to start the day for everyone tbh. It could be the difference of a good or bad day. I’d like to think I helped make that happen occasionally
Mr**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 I've been guilty of forgetting to cherish my partner being full of NRE before, gotta stay present where you are. It's so important for so many reasons.
Ri**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 You gotta remember Tom. She’s been there forever… or at least she has for me. The rest are just for fun but still deserve the same love and respect as the permanent partner even if the stay with you is only a passing one. ✌🏻❤️
Deleted Member Posted July 21, 2023 Author Posted July 21, 2023 It could probably make the main feel not good enough , not what the person really wants and honestly probably makes the main not even want to persue anymore ...
Deleted Member Posted July 21, 2023 Author Posted July 21, 2023 They should have a class on how to treat each other when in a throuple
ch**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 This just sounds like an unhealthy situation and why I’ll never differentiate between “main” and “secondary” partners in the first place
Th**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 WoW, sounds like someone is being used. Time for a serious conversation. Butt one must remember, fare does not mean equal. The primary will always be put above.
Th**** Posted July 21, 2023 Posted July 21, 2023 1 hour ago, RiknAli86 said: Everybody gets a message in a morning from me… Alison is first. Then anyone else I’m chatting too whether it’s sexual or just to be friends, gets a positive message in the morning. I think it’s a good way to start the day for everyone tbh. It could be the difference of a good or bad day. I’d like to think I helped make that happen occasionally Absolutely, each one of My girls gets a Good Morning ________ txt. After they reply, I reply accordingly.
Deleted Member Posted July 22, 2023 Author Posted July 22, 2023 @thebiggentleman what do you mean being used ?
BruiseWayne Posted July 22, 2023 Posted July 22, 2023 (edited) Without knowing the inner workings of this particular relationship one thing to note is after people have been with each other for a while it just becomes understood that you both think the other is hot, sexy, gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, wonderful, etc etc etc, and maybe it's not a sign of disrespect but moreso that the main partner(s) don't feel the need to be constantly reassuring each other since it's probably firmly established by then how you feel about one another. Sure, it's nice to hear those things regardless, but it's not always a red flag or sign of trouble or disinterest or *** if your SO isn't constantly making you feel all those things, even in a situation where you decide to bring in a 3rd. If YOU need to hear those things however then you need to talk to your SO and TELL THEM that alongside the 3rd you need to be fawned all over as well instead of everyone here jumping to say how unhealthy or whatever else maybe the OP just hasn't expressed their needs/feelings sufficiently enough to their partner. Maybe one partner assumes the other already feels secure enough in the relationship that they don't need all the flattery and compliments alongside the newer 3rd. Because let's face it, someone is ALWAYS going to more excited about something/one new. And that doesn't mean they like or love their current partner any less. And no, 'hinting' around isn't expressing things properly either. If someone doesn't seem to be 'getting it' then sometimes you have to grab them by the ears and yell it in their face. Because I know me personally I can sometimes pick up on the subtlest clue for how my partner is feeling, and then turn around and be completely oblivious to some larger issue that might be staring me right in the face they've been dropping hints about which I just haven't been picking up. IMHO people should be suggesting communication before they jump to this situation being abusive, or that the person is being mistreated or used somehow, etc. Edited July 22, 2023 by BruiseWayne words. :P
Ch**** Posted July 22, 2023 Posted July 22, 2023 Watched a TV show on YouTube can nit rembervwhat it was called but was based on couples trying new things an having a sex therapist an others in the show all sat round talking about things. 1 couple the guy really wanted a 3 some with his partner and another girl. His partner didn't want to. But was willing to try for him. He had a problem getting an erection or something. So the ladys said they would start an he voulc join In. The ladys had lots of fun togther. He turned over an went to sleep. All 3 were in the same bed.
yu**** Posted July 22, 2023 Posted July 22, 2023 Wow it’s almost like non-monogamy doesn’t work..who woulda thought
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