Jump to content

My Story so far


Recommended Posts


This was prompted by another discussion and made me think. I have been attracted to BDSM pretty much all of my life but have not had the opportunity or even courage to delve into the lifestyle with the vigour that I do other things in my life.
So, when I first came onto Fetish.com, my profile stated "Dominant" as I have had relationship, where I was the Dominant party and enjoyed it. Then I acknowledged that I also very much have a submissive side (in fact, for large parts of my life,
I have considered myself submissive but have had problems reconciling that with my vanilla life, where I am everything but). So, I put myself as Switch. Now if you look at statistics only around 10% or less identify themselves as such, so it is a
bit of a confusing place to be. I have now put myself as submissive as this is something I would like to explore.
I even went the full distance and identified myself as a slave, got a Mistress/Queen and lasted about a week before I concluded that this was not for me. Ok, so it might have been the dynamic with the person but I need a bit more of the social
togetherness as well. So call me picky - I probably am, but then I am not in a hurry.

I have met someone who I am getting on with very well. Of course, there are complications but also lots of real promises. Distance is an issue as she lives in another country, but I have never really found that a problem myself as long as the
chemistry is there, then the rest will follow if it is supposed to happen.

As you can gather, most of what I have written above could apply to any relationship and that is the way I look at D/s - like any other relationship but with one very important additional ingredient.

What I would like to end with is to say that if you are not 100% sure of what you want, don't worry and instead be open minded. If you go down avenues that you find out are not for you, don't beat yourself up as you at least have had the experience
and will know better what is or what is not for you. First of all, be happy, be optimistic, be pleased that you have a connection to a community of like-minded people who have probably been where you are or have similar thoughts.


Some people know what they want

Some people don't

Some people think they know what they want

It's all valid - and it is difficult sometimes when you kinda know you want this but not entirely sure what "this" is.   When terms get thrown around that mean something to one person but misinterpreted by another - it gets very complex.

I think just remember, it's not a sprint it's a marathon. It's not a destination, it's a journey.


" and it is difficult sometimes when you kinda know you want this but not entirely sure what "this" is.  "

This describes me perfectly...

I know what I like and what I want but label it? That's hard.. 

I'm very  lucky to have found LazyPirate as he really gets in my head, instinctively knows how I'll react pretty much.

I know I'm submissive with slight brat tendencies but I'm also a primal prey type.

I think the key is to find someone you share a connection with, on whatever level, and explore.


  • Create New...