*** maintenance maso problems

[bu****]

How do other masochists go about getting their *** needs met in between time spent with your dom?

My particular issues are

I am not satisfied by self-inflicted ***. It's never hard enough and lacks the intimacy of human connection. It works in a pinch and can tide me over for a day.

My Daddy seems busy and we have really only been able to manage face to face once a month.

My current needs have expanded to needing impact to 2x a week. I find it incredibly difficult to function without it.

Establishing more relationships with other doms, more local, will honestly take more spoons than I can give. The screening process, the talking phase, the emtional out pouring of my self into wrong dom after wrong dom has left me drained and tired. This process also effects my mood greatly, which is not fair to my current Daddy.

I need connection, trust, an actual relationship to fully commit to submission with impact. That in turn allows me to get to the level of *** I need to feel satisfied. So the above mentioned process has to happen. Otherwise it's spanking, and spanking just ain't gonna cut it for me.

Any suggestions are welcome. Maybe there is something I'm missing.

[ge****]

Is there a reason you can only see your current dominant once a month? Or could that be increased? You say he "seems" busy, but have you discussed with him and told him you feel you need more?
.
Know what you've said about finding another dominant, and that's totally understandable, and not suggesting you should, but perhaps if your current dominant is unable to meet your needs after discussing with him, you need to consider whether he's the right one for you.
.
Yes there's a balance to be found, and you may have to compromise your needs against what is possible, but the first step for me should be that open and honest conversation with your dominant because then at least you know what you are dealing with and can decide on next steps.

[QXX666]

1- change Dom
2- move near him.
3- a Pro session when you need it most
You are not far from Seattle and Washington, 2 big cities with over thousands potential Dom. Go for munches, kink groups/events, fetish evenings to find The connection.

[Deleted Member]

If you cannot find a domme and have cravings try some online recordings. During pandemic i developed one myself over six months and it got as good as the real thing!! the idea is to drink some alchohol and create your own recording getting you to do things you like to yourself.  Forget about it for a week and turn on the recording.   If you are a true submissive and commit to recording and the recording builds over an hour or more  you will push yourself further.   You know your personal limits so just set them higher in recording.   I added some hypnotism to ensure that as well. Worth a try.  And of course go onlone with a lovensee      I have simple household items that can inflict seriously intense ***.  You would be surprised.  Better than nothing. Best of luck.   Or if you want to send me a message i can create one for you next week But i need detail.  Wont take me long.   And i would enjoy it as much as you if you sent me back an audio recording of you following the instructions

Edited September 14, 2023 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

Dm you with more personalized questions and concerns

[Deleted Member]

QXX666 basically said all the right answers. However, if you have more personalized questions, feel free to check dm me for questions. I’m happy to hear your personal situation and help come up with plan that fits your needs.

[bu****]

Thank you for the suggestions, however they are all suggestions that I have been attempting for the last 4-6 months and it's just not working. 

 

Maybe I'll just take a break completely. 

[Deleted Member]

As has already been said, you really need to discuss this with your partner. Is distance an issue or free time? Have you discussed this with him (you did say daddy)? You should work this out between you.

10 hours ago, buckley887 said:

I am not satisfied by self-inflicted ***. It's never hard enough and lacks the intimacy of human connection

Is it not hard enough because it's difficult to get a good swing? Try electrical cable (but only on your soft parts). If it because of the mental side? Your dom can give you a task of so many strokes and be sent pics, to see the marks are to his liking, knowing you are doing it for him and it will be inspected by him should provide some intimacy. Or better still live on cam.

 

Edited September 14, 2023 by Deleted Member
typo

[Th****]

You haven't mentioned if you've discussed this with your current Dom. They should at least be there to help you figure out a solution. From your OP is sounds like distance is at least one of the reasons you only see them once a month? As Gem mentioned your word choice of they "seem" busy is interesting. Are they actually busy and can't give you what you need? Have you clearly stated to them "I need more"  and they've clearly been open with you on what they have to give? If it's simply logistics, they should be helping you find a solution as I said already. If they're unavailable and not being open and communicating then it may be worth reevaluating if they're a good match for you or not. 

 

It's good to have local community friends and connections for all sorts of reasons. Especially for peer support and sharing of information, knowledge and experiences. Have you considered building platonic friendships with Service Tops or Service switches? Would that type of relationship possibly be enough for you to be comfortable with them meeting your impact needs? 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ThaliaVirago
To add and expand.

[Th****]

4 hours ago, r_servicesub said:

 If you are a true submissive

Ew, don't do this. 

[Th****]

The number of comments asking the op to go immediately to dm and private conversation here I find to be somewhat concerning. Especially when they clearly stated this...

11 hours ago, buckley887 said:

Establishing more relationships with other doms, more local, will honestly take more spoons than I can give. The screening process, the talking phase, the emtional out pouring of my self into wrong dom after wrong dom has left me drained and tired. This process also effects my mood greatly

Help and suggestions can be offered publicly as well as maybe help anyone else who may be having similar issues but is only reading in the forums and arent necessarily participating in conversations directly. If the OP doesn't want to share any particular bits of their situation, circumstances, information or feelings publicly they can easily decide that for themselves and simply say so. 

[Sy****]

5 hours ago, buckley887 said:

Thank you for the suggestions, however they are all suggestions that I have been attempting for the last 4-6 months and it's just not working. 

 

Maybe I'll just take a break completely. 

Yes that’s an interesting thought. Have you asked yourself why your needs have increased so drastically? Falling into the addictive side of this fantasy lifestyle is dangerous….
Taking a break is always a great idea. And often when we stop searching so hard for something we desperately desire, it lands in our lap within a matter of time.

[gi****]

Hi buckley887, lots of interesting advice here. I wanted to tie them together a couple of ideas. Others have talked about them, but I guess I had another spin. If you thought about this already, I apologize for taking up your space. You mentioned that your Daddy seemed busy and can only do once a month, while your need for *** has expanded to needing impact 2x a week. You also indicated that you need connection, trust, and an actual relationship to fully commit to submission with impact. I am wondering if the need that you are experiencing is one for connection, trust, and intimacy. As you describe here, impact play can be incredibly intimate. Receiving impact from another can heighten endorphins and connecting intimimately with another can down regulate all sorts of stress responses. Considering these things, again, I'm wondering if you have an increased need for intimacy and connection. Just my thoughts.

[gi****]

Wow, some ***d English and interesting spelling on my part. I apologize to the community for that. lol

[An****]

As a disclaimer, I usually demand a s&c mutual contract, in case court is involved. Also like to record, noting safe word. That includes fights, even when swinging fists at other guys (lest they denigrate those important to me, then no holds barred). Consentual fights, even among, ESPECIALLY AMONG friends, are veerry cathartic. Witnesses and recordings are well advised. Hope that helps.

[Th****]

3 hours ago, giraut said:

Wow, some ***d English and interesting spelling on my part. I apologize to the community for that. lol

I managed to read it fine and you did make a good point. Something for the OP to definitely think about. 

[bu****]

8 hours ago, giraut said:

Hi buckley887, lots of interesting advice here. I wanted to tie them together a couple of ideas. Others have talked about them, but I guess I had another spin. If you thought about this already, I apologize for taking up your space. You mentioned that your Daddy seemed busy and can only do once a month, while your need for *** has expanded to needing impact 2x a week. You also indicated that you need connection, trust, and an actual relationship to fully commit to submission with impact. I am wondering if the need that you are experiencing is one for connection, trust, and intimacy. As you describe here, impact play can be incredibly intimate. Receiving impact from another can heighten endorphins and connecting intimimately with another can down regulate all sorts of stress responses. Considering these things, again, I'm wondering if you have an increased need for intimacy and connection. Just my thoughts.

Those are actually really good thoughts and you may be on to something there. Heavy impact is where all my emotions are flushed out of me by the *** of another. I do tend to fall into an obsessive need and hunger for that person. Maybe, I am just craving his ***/ intimacy/ connection. 

 

Maybe I will experiment with this idea. Thank you 

[gi****]

1 minute ago, buckley887 said:

Those are actually really good thoughts and you may be on to something there. Heavy impact is where all my emotions are flushed out of me by the *** of another. I do tend to fall into an obsessive need and hunger for that person. Maybe, I am just craving his ***/ intimacy/ connection. 

 

Maybe I will experiment with this idea. Thank you 

You are so welcome.  I'm glad that this resonated with you. Good luck with experimenting.

[po****]

could try a boxing or martial arts class if the only thing you're missing is a different person being the one to hit you