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Just started down the rabbit hole....


MistressJournee

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MistressJournee
Posted

I’m brand new to the scene. After spending my whole life as a vanilla, I was just introduced to this world. I feel like this is who I’ve been, it just was never introduced to me so I had never explored these feelings/needs before. I have an amazing sub who has been great trying to help me but it is creating an imbalance in our relationship. I don’t want to lose him but finding my way here is the first and most important step down my path. I’ve been doing a significant amount of reading, watched videos, and have started to blog so I feel like I’m off to a good start. The one piece of advice I’m looking for is since I have zero experience as a dom or a sub, should I look for a mentor or professional to help me through the process? If yes, how do I go about that? 

Posted
The most common advice for those new to kink is to attend a munch or similar. Not only will you get your face known, building up trust compared to a purely online presence, but you will be exposed to a wealth of experience and skills that are resident to your locality. Local events and shops will be identified, with appropriate recommendations. Those with skillsets in the areas that you are interested in can be introduced or referred to, with alternative or even contradictory viewpoints offered from which you can choose the path best suited to you. You can assess the most suitable people to seek advice from and in turn they can assess you. A professional may be appropriate but in the short term I would recommend getting along to a munch and finding a local mentor there. I stree the local since fairly regular contact is best (I've mentored several new Doms) and showing rather than telling works well - ad hoc demonstrations on the fringes of events or private meetings. Even just meeting for a coffee permits discussions to go off at a tangent and flow freely compared to email tennis.
Posted

yep - getting involved locally is a good way to knowledge share.  I wouldn't necessarily hunt a mentor - but, if for example there's another couple you end up friendly with there is always potential to learn from them closer.

MistressJournee
Posted

Thank you both. This is very helpful. I will definitely find a munch in my area. I would like to establish some relationships in community. I appreciate the knowledge share!

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