ge**** Posted October 10, 2023 Posted October 10, 2023 I'm going to preface what I'm about to say by making it very clear that in no way whatsoever do I condone his apparent lack of communication and blocking you without an explanation, nor am I necessarily suggesting you've been wrong to do so OP and I'm playing devil's advocate to a degree - BUT do you think his actions, especially if he was already having doubts about the relationship, may have, in part, been caused by his lack of communication being discussed in an open forum, on a site that he frequents? . As I said, not saying you've been wrong to do so, but is a thought to consider all the same.
Mi**** Posted October 10, 2023 Posted October 10, 2023 2 hours ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: OK. I wished I read this sooner as I wrong quite a length reply. I had to delete it. I'm actually going to go against the tide. I'm not sorry for you. It might not seem like it but this is a good thing. For a multitude of reasons: The guy wasn't right for you. Do you know how lucky you are to discover that after only a month? Some couple spend years together, have children and marry... before discovering that they aren't right for each other. Your intuition is good! You sensed a red flag and you were correct. You have a month's worth of experience. The Dominant for you is out there and you are free to look for him. Those are all great things. As far as this guy goes, there's no excuse for him ghosting you and blocking you. He's a coward. In closing, you aren't with a coward anymore. Agree that OP is better off without someone who would act this way, AND, as someone who has been on the receiving end of jackassery, it can still hurt to feel rejected even by someone who wasn’t good for you, and it sucks to invest time and energy into someone and a dynamic that you thought was going to be good. I am sorry he didn’t treat her with the common decency and respect to at least communicate why he was ending the dynamic or to express any concerns he might have had and as a result, she became worried, and nervous, and frustrated, felt the need to reach out to this community for support and a reality check.
Je**** Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 Aw no OP. I felt you in this. Sometimes feeling your gut instinct is usually the best thing to do. Mine very rarely let's me down if I'm honest. If you feel communication has been great, a month in and then suddenly nothing.. that would probably get anyone's heckles up. And I was sorry to read that your intuition on him disappearing was correct. I will however agree with @gemini_man on this section also. He has probably seen this post and felt outted, to whatever extent and did the cowardly thing and blocked. If it were me and someone I was connecting with wrote thus, I'd probably feel a bit hurt, but... I would confront said person on their feelings and maybe explain myself. If I felt there was a mistake. The fact he just blocked maybe suggests he wasn't all that into it and didn't want any backlash, or sadly anything to do with you after this. If its OK, I may ask... prior to this... When communication was lesser and you became concerned did you reach out to him? Ask what was going on or why he was quiet? If so how frequently and was he responding or opening your messages at all? Did he indicate at any point that he was busy and not available anywhere else, or as someone else said, have another partner he was perhaps busy living life with? Depends on agreed days or times or frequency of communication. If it was a constant or as and when free. If you were connecting on a D/s level, casual level or relationship/partner level. If someone was connecting with me on a deeper (than casual) level, I'd probably hey worried. I'm quite an anxious person. But I would have messaged them once a day for no more than 3 days.. to ask if they were OK, if they wanted to continue things and to let me know what the deal is as I'm atarting to get worried. One of those, once on over the 3 days. If I still didn't hear back and he was perhaps online and ignoring me, I'd probably accept my losses and move on. If he read and didn't reply, same thing. If he had previously mentioned any work or hectic home life, I'd probably wait for a week or so before assuming I probably won't fit into his schedule, as I require regular communication from people. But I'd of tried reaching out before coming here. Though I am aware we all react differently. Nevertheless, I think from his ghosting, is either down to his own crappy behavior, lack of communication on your end if that applies, this post has just irked him or he just wanted to waste people's time. Guess you'll maybe never know, but he's probably not worth the chase effort. Keep your chin up ❤
ol**** Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 20 hours ago, ThePhoenix said: So my intuition was correct. Not man enough to speak to me or send me a text. Instead, he blocks me on Fet. I feel sick to my stomach right now! So sorry for you. I started reading the thread and I knew after reading your first post. You'd reasonably expect a D to have the emotional strength to be honest with you. Sadly this no longer seems to be true in many cases.
ThePhoenix Posted October 11, 2023 Author Posted October 11, 2023 I just needed advice at the time. I've never posted on a public forum before. And yes I reached out to him before asking my question.Although he gave a valid excuse it still didn't sit right with me. . I did wait another 24hrs and still didn't hear from him. I reached out. My message was read and ignored. I saw him on other si tes logged on and no response. i made sure to Delete forum posts off my profile.
ThePhoenix Posted October 11, 2023 Author Posted October 11, 2023 And to be honest. I hope he did read this. I hope he read the replies. And I feel sorry for any other submissive he plays. But you can't play someone who has already been played!
ol**** Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 I so wish you were right about once played you can't be played again but sadly it's not the case. More often than not we will repeat the behaviour.
ThePhoenix Posted October 11, 2023 Author Posted October 11, 2023 Just now, oldfellow said: I so wish you were right about once played you can't be played again but sadly it's not the case. More often than not we will repeat the behaviour. Oh, yeah, I was fooled again. But at least the red flags were waving and saw it for what it was before it developed into something that would have caused more mental anguish. At least I know that communication is a trigger for me. Thanks to the Kinkster who pointed that out.
ol**** Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 5 minutes ago, ThePhoenix said: Oh, yeah, I was fooled again. But at least the red flags were waving and saw it for what it was before it developed into something that would have caused more mental anguish. At least I know that communication is a trigger for me. Thanks to the Kinkster who pointed that out. We should have a club for all those of us who have been fooled. Happens to D's as well as subs.
MasterDarcy1979 Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 (edited) I'm all for a game of Devil's Advocate but this guy doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt. It's now been debunked anyway. He probably had cold feet and rreservations. He had three options: 1. Talk to OP about his reservations and attempt to work things out. 2. Talk to OP and end it. 3. Cut off all communication with OP and run away and hide. Edited October 11, 2023 by MasterDarcy1979
MasterDarcy1979 Posted October 11, 2023 Posted October 11, 2023 6 hours ago, ThePhoenix said: Oh, yeah, I was fooled again. But at least the red flags were waving and saw it for what it was before it developed into something that would have caused more mental anguish. At least I know that communication is a trigger for me. Thanks to the Kinkster who pointed that out. You'll learn from this. Don't let this dampen your desire for this lifestyle. Don't give him that power. Read my previous post. Keep reading it till you believe it. On the long tern this is a good thing. You'll see.
Recommended Posts