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I want to explore my dom side

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Very new to all this, but in online sexting, I've enjoyed playing the dom. Having someone call me daddy. Spanking. Consensual choking and hairpulling. But I've never done most of that with anyone in the real world. How do I explore this in an ethical way?

It’s an unspoken language once all the personal rules wants and desires are met
You find someone into it and get their consent to do it.
Have an open conversation with the person your with. Take the time to actually get to know them, ask questions and talk about consent.

Do you mean how do you do it in an ethical way or how do you progress from sexting to actually meeting someone and doing it for real ? 

For me the ethics are not a question - Mutual consent and respect.  

The difficult part is finding someone within reach where there is mutual attraction and who wants to experiment the same as me or offer a newbie new experiences. 



- Meet a submissive. The best way of doing that is putting yourself out there.

- When you do meet a submissive be respectful! Don't automatically order her around of act like you've purchased her.

- Be yourself. Don't try to be an archetypal "Dominant" e.g black, long flowing duster. A black goatee. And a perma-scowl. (You'll be laughed at)

- Take the time to build a report. Establish hard limits. Chat about kinks and what's on the table and what isn't

- Communication. Communication. Communication.

- Honesty. Honesty. Honesty.

- Take your time getting to know the submissive in question and allow her to get to know you.

- Trust is king when it comes to a BSDM dynamic.


I'm a pp who's looking for a serious dom who can
dominate me and
We're searching for someone who can create the
right atmosphere and knows what she is doing
and having a great time with me
Educate yourself. Go to a local munch, take a class, listen to podcasts, etc. Connect with other Dominants who seem to be operating in an ethical way. First and foremost, take your time to learn and don’t bite off more than you can chew. It’s tempting to want to do ALL THE THINGS right away, but it’s incredibly important to take the time to learn the risks of certain activities (physical and emotional) and then learn how to mitigate them, before diving in head first.
I highly recommend reading “The New Topping Book” by Dossie Easton and her partner Janet. It’s an excellent primer for BDSM as is it’s counterpart, “The New Bottoming Book.”
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