Daddy Doms/ Soft Doms self rules

[Ca****]

Calling all Daddy Doms/ Soft Doms and those who are similar?! We often get more threads about rules, punishments and praises for littles/ subs/ princesses etc… What about for yourself? What are the rules you apply to yourself in order to be the best Dom you can be? Ex: Do you send “check ins” throughout the day? Do you assign tasks? How consistent are you with certain things? If you made a mistake, how do you punish or correct yourself? What makes you, you? Give the little subbies some insight and other Doms ideas. Maybe help both sides. :)

[TH****]

Check ins, positive reinforcement always are good. Cool communication and expectations are a must. Consistency is the best. Praise is good.

[st****]

I'm not officially one, but in my last relationship we were trying. My natural instinct is more caregiver. I always checked in during the day. Made sure she ate. When she needed help with outfits I picked it out for her. Told her I was proud when she did good at work. Didn't get to assigned tasks. If I did mess up, I'd make sure to correct and make sure she was ok. I wanted her to be safe.

[Deleted Member]

Following

[St****]

Lots of practice of them getting to know the safeword Works.

[Vallin]

As a child of JFK-Camelot DC, I grew up with a lot of big production Romantic musicals. As a now-vintage Gentleman Dom I model myself on Rex Harrison's 'Prof. Higgins' in My Fair Lady (and equally world weary and cynical), or Walter Matthau's 'Horace Vandegelder' in Hello, Dolly  (on my worst days I'm a combination of Streisand and Matthau). 

My years in publishing/sales, and as a college bookstore vendor underscore my didactic character.

[bl****]

Checking in for definite, paying attention to what she says, especially when upset or talking about difficult things… Remaining calm when she gets emotional or has a tantrum… good, clear and simple communication which is consistent… I don’t punish myself formally, the guilt and sense of failure is more than enough punishment

[Deleted Member]

Clarity in all things. Lots and lots of humor. Definitely little meaningful daily tasks agreed upon and understood beforehand. Check-ins are a must.

[Deleted Member]

Clarity in all all things. I can't stress that enough. Lots and lots of humor. Definitely small meaningful task assignments agreed upon beforehand. Check-ins are a must.

[Mi****]

Making sure she gets enough sleep.
Making sure she goes to bed on time.
Making sure she's up on time.
Checking what's she's eating throughout the day and eating enough.
Checking in when she's home, going through our day.
Giving her my attention when she speaks.
Shower with her.
If mistakes are made, never punished myself. Talk it out on where/how you made the mistake, even though she's your submissive, she can still offer advice. Don't neglect that one and work on not making the mistake again.

[mspdadbawdy]

I do a good morning/good night text. Lots of praise. And only tasks that help make her life better. We also negotiate on the fly. I may ask her to do a task, she may not be able to, and we move on.

[Do****]

Never punish your sub or little when you’re mad about something else.
Never punish with distancing yourself.
After care is a must, builds trust and respect.
I’m not a soft Daddy Dom but you have to have some moments of softness especially for the littles.
Remember that you may be the Dom but they do deserve your honesty.

If you are a Daddy Dom you actually have a higher standard of accountability. Admit your wrongs and give action to righting them. The responsibility for this person is a big piece of trust they have handed you, live up to it.
The bond will grow stronger for it if they are a good sub, little, or brat.

[Ro****]

Open communication is huge. The trust us Doms ask for from our sub goes both ways. If I ask what color my sub is, and she says green, and I know she isn't being truthful is a big turnoff. And she will be let known as I know what makes her crawl and shiver. In a good way, or punish way :)

[Ca****]

Mommies please feel free to chime in. :)

[Ma****]

Patience, communication, understanding wins every time.

[Ca****]

Is it common for daddy’s to have more than one little subby? Obviously it would be mentioned upon agreement.

[bi****]

2 hours ago, Dozzer66 said:

Never punish your sub or little when you’re mad about something else.
Never punish with distancing yourself.
After care is a must, builds trust and respect.
I’m not a soft Daddy Dom but you have to have some moments of softness especially for the littles.
Remember that you may be the Dom but they do deserve your honesty.

If you are a Daddy Dom you actually have a higher standard of accountability. Admit your wrongs and give action to righting them. The responsibility for this person is a big piece of trust they have handed you, live up to it.
The bond will grow stronger for it if they are a good sub, little, or brat.

See my baby girl uses this and gets away with so much cause she knows I will not punishment if mad

[Ca****]

What praises would you like to hear from your little subby? Besides thank you.

[DT****]

I'd really like to understand more because I love the idea of being tied up n not being in control. And the dominant one makes you realize he is. But I heard there's so much more n I'd like to understand it more before committing

[wo****]

The Dom should change to the limits and needs of the sub how hard of soft dependent on what will bring the most out of the sub

[Kinkysup]

New to being a submissive just want to please my mistress or master. Need to find a place to play in local area

[Br****]

Communication I think is a major key in terms of both asking questions and listening. Praising/positive reinforcement has always been good. Making sure both sides have a clarity and understanding on feelings and body language.

[Do****]

14 hours ago, bigbob80 said:

See my baby girl uses this and gets away with so much cause she knows I will not punishment if mad

A tally board is a good tool for this. It will help keep the brat side in line. A simple make or make them write out the infraction. This adds to the looming affect of the punishment and gives you time to think of what punishment fits the crime.

[Do****]

14 hours ago, DTFDIAMOND68 said:

I'd really like to understand more because I love the idea of being tied up n not being in control. And the dominant one makes you realize he is. But I heard there's so much more n I'd like to understand it more before committing

There is allot more but that trust should be earned slowly.
Hand to hand bondage is a good place to start. Learning and expanding the play will come with time regardless.
Find a Dom that has put in the time and experience and you’ll learn as you go.

[Do****]

14 hours ago, CaramelLatte said:

What praises would you like to hear from your little subby? Besides thank you.

Lying is habit forming so a rule I have is: Don’t tell me things just to pet my ego only things that are true. From how good of a Daddy I am to how many times I made them cum. This also helps with knowing exactly how good your relationship actually is is actually doing.