But, it is your version of submission?

[CopperKnob]

Is it?
.
Or, re you acting out someone else’s definition of submission because you read what submission is in romance novel?
.
Are you imitating someone else's version of submission because it's what they want?
.
Are you kneeling because that’s what other people do? Or, does it mean something to you?
.
Why do you want that collar? What purpose does it serve? What meaning does it have for you?
.
What does that honorific mean? Why was it chosen, is it just something that they've used before? Are you comfortable with it?
.
Are you as happy to do those 'tasks' as it makes the person giving them to you?
.
It’s okay to be meek, subservient, and follow along if that’s what moves you.
My question is, does it?
.
Are you too frightened to live out your own version of D/s in case you lose the person you love?
.
Are you too scared of setting and upholding your boundaries in case you miss out on 'the one'?
.
Is this a version of submission that is meeting your desires and needs?
Or, are you living up to someone else’s expectations because you think that’s what you have to do to call yourself a sub?
.
If it’s the latter, this will not end well for you. Believe me. I’ve been there. I think most of us have when its new to us. Coerced D/s requires you to give up more than just your body. You end up giving up your identity as well. How do you think that that plays out when the relationship ends? Because it will.
.
Does your submission feel oppressive?
Or, do you feel free?
.
Are you unapologetically you?
Or, are you simply central to someone else’s desires?
.
Have you agreed to all elements of your relationship? Or, is it more of a dictatorship?
.
Are your needs, wants and desires being met? Or, are the needs, wants and desires of the other person more important?
.
Do you see someone you no longer recognise when looking in the mirror? If so, it's not your version of submission.

[in****]

Absolutely phenomenally said bravo ans Thank you

[DeviantInside]

This isn’t meant to be confrontational because I actually agree that we should try to be as aware as possible in all aspects of our lives but there is no possible way we could ever know every possible “input” into the decisions we make. However, we should always question, both ourselves and others, so I think I still agree… wait… that may be my parents speaking.

[do****]

Well written 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[TheBookCollector]

This is also true of Dominants too often people fail to be theirselves instead becoming some pastiche of what they think a dominant is in order to capture a submissive.

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, DeviantInside said:

This isn’t meant to be confrontational because I actually agree that we should try to be as aware as possible in all aspects of our lives but there is no possible way we could ever know every possible “input” into the decisions we make. However, we should always question, both ourselves and others, so I think I still agree… wait… that may be my parents speaking.

🤣
Absolutely, I agree.
Though, I see many posts here by those that either romanticise D/s or people who've gone along with whatever has been said to them in messages (specifically) without any thought before feelings are hurt and often simply due to naivety.
We all need to think before we act or deal with the consequences.

[CopperKnob]

2 hours ago, TheBookCollector said:

This is also true of Dominants too often people fail to be theirselves instead becoming some pastiche of what they think a dominant is in order to capture a submissive.

So many times I've said, Doms should be posting here too, not just about their woes or desires, but offering guidance
It's telling that the most 'popular' threads of late aren't really kink related but simply about sex.

[Ar****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

It's telling that the most 'popular' threads of late aren't really kink related but simply about sex.

^^ this ^^

[TheBookCollector]

4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

So many times I've said, Doms should be posting here too, not just about their woes or desires, but offering guidance
It's telling that the most 'popular' threads of late aren't really kink related but simply about sex.

I agree there should be more males posting and not just about kinks amd fetishes but about how people can check someone is safe, how to spot red flags, basic first meeting etiquette etc.

[CopperKnob]

Wednesday at 08:39 AM, Aranhis said:

^^ this ^^

Not only that they're now being used as a means to slide into people's DM's 🤣

[DanDan]

Definitely TPE. I've never found anything that's come close. Yet!

[Puppy6411]

On 2/19/2024 at 9:17 PM, CopperKnob said:

It’s okay to be meek, subservient, and follow along if that’s what moves you.
My question is, does it?

 

On 2/19/2024 at 9:17 PM, CopperKnob said:

Is this a version of submission that is meeting your desires and needs?
Or, are you living up to someone else’s expectations because you think that’s what you have to do to call yourself a sub?

[I think this applies to both sides of the /]

On 2/19/2024 at 9:17 PM, CopperKnob said:

Does your submission feel oppressive?
Or, do you feel free?
.
Are you unapologetically you?
Or, are you simply central to someone else’s desires?

These are the big questions for any relationship, and life in general.

Are you ***ting-by-numbers, or experiencing the joy of ***ting - Bob Ross style

We all need a space where we feel nurtured, cared for and able to grow into our best version of ourselves - and not have to worry, or make justifications to anyone who cares about us, for our actions. 

[CopperKnob]

Yesterday at 11:49 AM, Puppy6411 said:

These are the big questions for any relationship, and life in general.

Are you ***ting-by-numbers, or experiencing the joy of ***ting - Bob Ross style

We all need a space where we feel nurtured, cared for and able to grow into our best version of ourselves - and not have to worry, or make justifications to anyone who cares about us, for our actions. 

I like the ***t by numbers metaphor. Sometimes life can feel that way, ticking off achievements that society/cultural norms says you should.

[Th****]

On 2/21/2024 at 6:51 AM, TheBookCollector said:

I agree there should be more males posting and not just about kinks amd fetishes but about how people can check someone is safe, how to spot red flags, basic first meeting etiquette etc.

 Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men 

[TheBookCollector]

5 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

 Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men 

Very true, i phrased my response incorrectly however, statistically speaking the majority of dominants are men.

[An****]

As someone new to this lifestyle, I find what you discuss interesting. I can see how a sub who is not confident in who they are, could easily be lost. As someone who generally is confident, I still find that I rely on my Dom to be sure I am true to myself. 

[CopperKnob]

19 hours ago, Anne4fun said:

As someone new to this lifestyle, I find what you discuss interesting. I can see how a sub who is not confident in who they are, could easily be lost. As someone who generally is confident, I still find that I rely on my Dom to be sure I am true to myself. 

I think that all of us can fall foul of it, it's easy to become someone that others see, believe, or want us to be. We all need to take a breath sometimes and think about who we are, what we need and what we want.