Deleted Member Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 (edited) Fellow subs, what piece of advice do you wish you were given when you were new? What do you know now that you wish you knew back then!? Any advice for planning the maiden play session? Any tips on finding a good fit in regards to a dom? Violet x Edited October 5, 2019 by Deleted Member
Wo**** Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Don't be afraid to ask questions.. 're maiden play and finding a good fit.. Communication, honesty and trust. Discuss ideas, limits, Safe Words, aftercare. Take your time, ask questions and get to know people.
Deleted Member Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 I am not a Submissive, but one I advise is that Safeties are never to be ignored. You cannot "lose the right" to stop your partner from hurting you physically or mentally
Deleted Member Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 Advice I wish I could have given myself, don't be bullied, manipulated or made to feel bad for saying no to something. If someone is using emotional blackmail to get what they want then run as far away from them as you can. Regarding first play, don't have high expectations. It's never how you think. You might feel nothing at all and then a few days later it hits you. Go gently and never be afraid to say how you feel. Have a really good talk about it all before and after the play session and go into the communication with open mind, give and take feedback. Lastly if it's not fun. It's not right. Best of luck xxx
Deleted Member Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 Submission is strength, not oppression. Patience will take you to your right partner and honesty will keep you both together. Finding the right Dom can be half the battle so research as much as you can so that when he/she comes along, you’re safe, prepared and ready. Above all else - have ***y fun!!
BigPolly Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Some superb advice on here. My bits of advice are - ‘it’s ok to change your mind’ even if you think you’re going to be ok with something then decide you’re not ready that’s absolutely fine. You can say no at anytime & as @Beautiful*** has said, don’t let anyone bully you into thinking otherwise. You are a precious sub not something to be ***d without permission. Its ok to be nervous, nerves add to the fun sometimes but they also allow us to set limits. Dont take it all so serious, have a laugh as things often go wrong & if we get hung up on them they can ruin confidences so learn to have a laugh about it all. If adrenaline takes over then expect a sub drop. If you haven’t heard of this then read up on it as it’s a bit shit to get through sometimes. No 2 subs play the same so don’t ever compare yourself to any other sub, we are all wonderfully different A good Dom will never approach you with sex talk or demands, he/she should be a gentleman/lady & approach you as such. Don’t allow anyone to talk to you on here any differently than they would face to face & don’t allow anyone to talk to you away from the site via WhatsApp, Kik etc until you’re truly ready. Anyone who suggests that within the first few messages isn’t showing you respect. Good luck x
ey**** Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 ultimately - things have to work for you there are Dominants you just simply won't be compitable with whether you wish to be or not and it's important to accept this ahead of trying to be something you're not there are also Dominants who are manipulative - be aware of any who try to palm things off as "real subs would..." or tell you what you should do because it's "what subs should do" but, equally - knowing your worth, while aiming to avoid behaviour deemed entitled.
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