Monogamous - Am I wasting my time?

[ts****]

Yeah you better off just doing your thing and having a couple fwb this world now days no one stays just with the other person

[Aa****]

@tskeen1986 sadly I realized this too. I was in a 3 year relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had a lease and a cat and one day last summer she decided she wanted an open relationship out of the blue. If we had discussed this prior they would be okay, but I came to find out that she had cheated on me prior to asking me in the first place. I gave in to her just wanting to keep the relationship alive but when she would have a guys over I would be hurting myself in the other room. I really couldn't handle the emotional distress

[ey****]

for a couple of bits, mind

I will double down that non-mono is more talked about in kink, but is certainly not the majority position

but within non-mono, there are still rules and boundaries appropriate to your relationship, and even in 'open' relationships - going against pre-discussed boundaries would still be cheating

And some stuff sucks; non-mono relationship can be difficult but if it's not working you need to communicate with your partner and if they don't seem to care (especially if it was there idea) then the relationship would break down - and any court would side with you as the partner would be deemed to be unfaithful

I sometimes see these problems with people who do enter a non-mono agreement despite being mono and they believe they can make it work and it seldom does unless they can accept they are mono and their partner is not and they will only get a share of the time.

Equally, I see problems of people who are not mono who try to be mono for the sake of a partner and that often ends badly also.

[Deleted Member]

From personal experience on this site the majority want all the fun and none of the work. They are using it for a hook up site. Again, I am not speaking for everyone, just my personal experience. Or scammers.

[Va****]

I still find that mono outweighs the poly just be patient, be upfront on all dating profiles and keep an open mind. I have seen poly people go mono for a time to give someone new a try and I have seen mono people do the same for someone poly.

[Hungrymonk]

You might see a larger sample of poly places like this compared to the average, but it's definitely not ubiquitous.