Bots vs Unsure Newbies

[Phoenyx]

Lately, I've been getting unsolicited personal messages, that say no more than "Hi", "Hello", or "Hi there."  Intrigued, I check the profile of the sender, only to find virtually no information.  I know there that has been a long discussion about fake profiles set up by bots and scammers.  They basically spam the list with messages of "Hi."  Some are pretty obvious---that too-good-to-be-true thing.  But, how many of these messages are actually legit?  How many are from those too new to the list, or simply too shy, to know what to say?  I hate to seem like the aloof, standoffish dom---that infuriating can't-be-bothered-with-mere-mortals attitude.  I'm not that kind of person.  But, I seem to have no choice, but to leave such messages unanswered.  It has to be better than replying "State your business."  Or, more rudely, "Whadda you want?"  I cringe at the thought of some scammer wasting hours of my time.

Perhaps, if any of you have felt ignored or slighted in this way, you could respond to this thread.  I (and I'm sure others) would like to get to know who your are.  Please, don't be shy or scared.  I would also like to hear how others have dealt with this quandary.

[ey****]

I think if I received a message that just when "Hey" - on any platform 

Q1 - do I recognise the name ?  Be it someone I've interacted with, talked with otherwise, or seen post on the forum.

If so, then it's likely genuine

Q2 - does the person have a complete profile? and not a clear catfish photo and copy/paste text?

A no doesn't necessarily mean it's fake.

Q3 - why has the person gone to only the minimum effort?

Like, if it was you messaging me - I know you're real and we've already got a form of rapport.  Same with a few others on this site.  And while someone may be shy, I think a question is why are they on a similar par to bots and scammers if they're genuine - they can "stand out" just by improving their initial message above that level.

[BigPolly]

I make it clear on my profile that any one word message such as ‘hi’ won’t be answered. If it is genuine then I still have no interest in anyone who is unable to hold a conversation. Yes I get that people are incredibly shy or lack confidence but they do not lack the ability to add ‘how are you’ or a few other words as a conversation opener. The fact that it is on my profile yet people still do it makes me mad as it means they’ve looked at my profile but haven’t taken the time to bother reading it. I remember receiving a message from a very young guy a year or so ago & although he was too young for me I remember thanking him for his message as it was such a beautiful introduction of himself, stating he knew he was too young but wanted to say hello etc...a year in & I still remember that message & it’s those things that make an impression on me personally.

[PixieDust]

I get messages like that all the time........drives me batty......but if I do work out that it is a scammer, it gives me nothing but great pleasure to waste their time in return.  I figure the more time I waste lessens their time from trying to scam someone else.  

[qu****]

Messages from women off *** sites are also worrying, had a couple of messages now from women who had no idea about what this site is about, I mean it's not really fair if you think you're on a normal dating site only to find things you don't like

[Si****]

I’ve been sent messages asking for a deposit up front just to talk. Not my thing when I’m confident to just randomly chat with people in the coffee shop. I’m hardly going to pay to chat online. I prefer to find out about the real person before going forward with anything else.

[qu****]

You're lucky if they've asked you that here, usually I get the hey let's chat away from here first, early on I did that, then got told I'd have to equip a dungeon complete with toys, she got stroppy when I said oooo, I just love Lego, 😂🤣😂

[qu****]

But seriously, if it smells fishy, and looks fishy, it probably is fishy

[qu****]

So very nearly said it's probably a very dirty woman 😁

[Si****]

😂

[Si****]

I’m a clean man and can’t think of anything worse than a bad smelling person. It shows a lot about people and their attitude to themselves. Just as bad as people who try to cover up bad smells with perfume. 

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, Hotplay said:

I’m a clean man and can’t think of anything worse than a bad smelling person. It shows a lot about people and their attitude to themselves. Just as bad as people who try to cover up bad smells with perfume. 

Soon gone from a post about bots and newbies to badly smelling people 🙄

Shame people cannot say 'hi and interesting profile you have', instead of the mundane 'hi'.

Badly smelling people is a turn off. Those that smell nice, gets a compliment from me, whether a man or a woman.

[qu****]

The trouble with bots I've found elsewhere is that they're evolving, even seen some sending GIFS 😁

[qu****]

17 hours ago, phoenyx said:

Lately, I've been getting unsolicited personal messages, that say no more than "Hi", "Hello", or "Hi there."  Intrigued, I check the profile of the sender, only to find virtually no information.  I know there that has been a long discussion about fake profiles set up by bots and scammers.  They basically spam the list with messages of "Hi."  Some are pretty obvious---that too-good-to-be-true thing.  But, how many of these messages are actually legit?  How many are from those too new to the list, or simply too shy, to know what to say?  I hate to seem like the aloof, standoffish dom---that infuriating can't-be-bothered-with-mere-mortals attitude.  I'm not that kind of person.  But, I seem to have no choice, but to leave such messages unanswered.  It has to be better than replying "State your business."  Or, more rudely, "Whadda you want?"  I cringe at the thought of some scammer wasting hours of my time.

Perhaps, if any of you have felt ignored or slighted in this way, you could respond to this thread.  I (and I'm sure others) would like to get to know who your are.  Please, don't be shy or scared.  I would also like to hear how others have dealt with this quandary.

I usually say hi back, then usually within 5 messages they ask to chat away from site, usually a good sign theyre fake

[ey****]

yep - being taken off site is usually a scam

also *** being raised by *someone who contacts you* usually dictates a scam.  Pros tend not to go fishing for clients.   (or if they do the context will be apparent : someone said to me tonight "I live locally and if you wanted to do this you could book my time" - but I knew she was real as she was sat across the table opposite me) 

[qu****]

I must admit at times it seems theres been a worrying increase in young women wanting to be paid for any form of contact,( i.e. feet photos, dirty knickers, a good time), it seems like the site is here for lazy People who just want a quick buck 

[ey****]

if you go onto anyone's profile and there's a financial interest they need a € on their profile

if they do not have one, then hit the 'report' button with a reason of 'Financial Interests' and then the site can add this.  

-

A lot of guys have a problem with women who ask for pay for *whatever* stating it's lazy in search of a quick buck - well, the lazy ones find they don't really make anything and very quickly leave.  Be it this site, other sites, whatever.  

But, the same can be said of guys - there's a lot of guys who put in a minimal/lazy effort and expect instant kink, relationships, results - and it's just the same.

[qu****]

But then as a point of arguement, if someone is asking for payment for services, does that make them a prostitute, as by definition at least, a prostitute is defined as someone who receives payment for services rendered, I include men in this as well

[qu****]

And yes, my profile is a currently a vague as I'm trying to work on wording of it

[ey****]

if someone is a "prostitute", escort, pro-domme, full service sex worker, cam girl, etc

does that make them bad?

[qu****]

Not at all, personally I think it's time it was legalised, but the reason for choosing that life style must be through wanting that lifestyle through enjoyment, not because through circumstance they have no other option to afford cost of living.

I hope this reads right

[ey****]

absolutely.

So yeah - there's a main two fold reason why people get into it.   The first is that it's a job that they enjoy - speaking purely from a fetish perspective for example that someone is really into kink and can help others in a way that they can make a living or additional income.

The second, of course, is that there are a lot of problems with social mobility.   A report recently suggested problems in the UK with Universal Credit was causing an increase in people turning to sex work.   A lot of people at college or university are crippled with loans, debts and the cost of living - it's difficult to find part time jobs around studying commitments but some have found a little camming on their own time/terms can help out.

Someone in the first category - of course - that's their choice and their career and it's usually clear who they are

Someone in the second category is usually a *** person to one degree or another - so it's also important not to appear hostile; "Have you tried not being poor?" - there are very volatile times in both the UK and the US and this needs correcting on a society level.

[qu****]

Yes, and even if legalised the sex trade problem will still exist, though hopefully to a lesser extent, but could then speak or without *** of any prosecution or persecution

[Phoenyx]

UGH!  I always cringed, whenever someone inferred that I might be in "The Sex Trade".  Sure, I was on the fringes.  But, I preferred to think of my mission more as "couples therapy"  Any couple could go to a psychiatrist (a.k.a. a "personality critic") and have that pshrink tell them everything that they were doing wrong at home.  My intent was to put a little "spice" back into that relationship.  Seemed more effective.

Jut one final note, that I feel I need to make (now that everyone is pretty clear on what I used to be):  I never had sex with clients.  Never would!  Crossing that line was/is a perfect way to get your ass kicked right out of The Biz.

[qu****]

In England sex trade usually refers to people who have been smuggled into the country purely to be used as prostitutes