Deleted Member Posted March 4, 2020 Author I'm a submissive male and I have to say my only concern is what pleases my mistress. I know that both dominant and submissive have hardlines that both should be aware of and should have discussed before entering into a relationship, however it's just good manners not to start a conversation with I want, I want, i want. Surely that's a turn off to most women, domme or not.
Phoenyx Posted March 4, 2020 Still, it's not all about pleasing a Master or Mistress. Protocol may cause it to appear that way. But, there is more. A good sub must also be open about their fantasies and desires. This isn't demanding. This is about being honest in answers to questions. A good Dom/Domme is actually concerned about the desires or their sub(s). The closer they can attune themselves to these desires, the more power they feel being returned to them. It really is a two-way street.
ey**** Posted March 5, 2020 there's a saying that you can't pour from an empty jug and this is very true. Not just in the sense of looking after your well being but also your motivation and happiness. There isn't (despite what some would have you believe) a total shortage of Mistresses and so if you see someone you must have reasons for wanting to serve them. And generally this is going to boil down to being someone you feel you can approach and communicate with who has an interest in your kinks I mean, there's different levels. Someone posted on twitter the other day about human toilet "my slaves must consume my waste, not because it is their fetish but because I am their Goddess" but her slaves and subs most certainly enjoy time together and that does include other relationship perks. *just anyone* shouldn't be your Dominant.
Carnelian2 Posted March 5, 2020 I think that many people tend to forget that this is a relationship at the end of the day. I read somewhere about two layers to D/s; the Underlying relationship (without D/s - getting to know and getting along with each other) and the D/s layer (doing whatever is agreed between the D and the s). I think this describes it very well. For anything to last, you have to get along with, respect and like the person. The rest becomes easy. It is so easy to forget, though
Deleted Member Posted March 5, 2020 Author I think a D/s relationship without communication is called marriage 😃
Riskylife Posted August 18, 2024 i will just send them this link from the first message, aptly put ..it would also help with the tons of messages leaving only quality subs for consideration
Ia**** Posted August 18, 2024 Dom or otherwise, I think your approach to a first message should be more forgiving than rule #3 implies because, generally speaking, unless they're in the top 1%, a man has to contact many dozens, sometimes hundreds, of women before they find one they end up meeting. If each initial message has to be highly personalised and individual to you then this could result in hundreds of days of just writing messages (not elapsed time) before they even get a reply, let alone find someone they click with and end up meeting/ This is entirely unrealistic. Further, no matter how good a first message is, your decision to proceed is based on what they look like, not on their first message. After the photos (or videos if you prefer them) you'll move to the rest of their profile. Then, if you've liked everything you see, you might reply. Considering that we're all nobodies to everyone until a rapport has been built, assuming yourself to be someone to a random user of the site is... absurd. You seeing yourself as a dom is irrelevant in the first instance unless you're just looking for online domination rather than real life. Of course, this doesn't mean a first message is acceptable if rude, crass, or otherwise uncouth or unsavoury, but it does mean that a first message/introduction should be acceptable if it aligns with the standed way that strangers interact. For example, if I write to you on the day of this message with 'Hi (name), how's Sunday? Good? Bad? Indifferent?', then this should be a perfectly valid introduction from a stranger, but based on rule #3 this would be inadequate. Of course, you may choose not to reply, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that as a first message. Remember, you, me, them, are no one until we're otherwise. ps. For sure, if there's something in your profile that I can bounce off from in a message then this is a good call, but many times there isn't, which is on the profile writer, not the reader.
do**** Posted August 19, 2024 most of my problem is sub has an empty profile, and I'm sorry I will not ask every single time the same questions for me if you didn't right a good profile with all your kinks and be consistent ( be sub all the way, not changing) I will not give you a chance
Mz**** Posted November 14, 2024 This should be mandatory reading for any male submissive or bottom who wants to engage with dominant women.
Ad**** Posted April 23 This sub never knows to be assertive & ask a Mistress, or be silent & wait to be chosen
ey**** Posted April 23 3 minutes ago, DoggiesGhost said: This sub never knows to be assertive & ask a Mistress, or be silent & wait to be chosen Typically. Neither. It's not being assertive to approach someone respectfully/politely The thing with being silent. I mean, I have seen it happen - of course, but if you're not showcasing anything that demonstrates why you're worth, ahem, choosing then people just assume you're into sitting in the corner in silence.
Deleted Member Posted May 20 Author I've become more selective now than before. I've grown tired of being seen as a way to be released from your everyday life & then never hear from them again. As a Domme & as a person, I deserve more than that. When I engage with BDSM, I not only put my time & effort, but love into training. I care & I care a lot. I'm just done feeling like I should lock my heart away & chase affection. I'm more than just a fantasy. This post just made me realize that I shouldn't be chasing & waiting anxiously for a response. I don't want to be insecure anymore.
Ro**** Posted August 27 I’m really glad that I was able to see and read this. I’ve been trying to do some research on everything about being submissive and this just opened my eyes up completely. I’ll make sure to remember this
La**** Posted September 2 Thanks for this!! Also even after all that, nobody owns you a reply. No reply is a reply in itself. I'm not interested. Move on.
Ro**** Posted September 2 It’s only been a week since I’ve read this and I don’t want to say “it works” like it’s some sort of trick or method or something. Since I’ve read this I now have been talking with a very loving and caring dom the past few days and even in the short time we’ve talked we both can see a potential future together ❤️
ey**** Posted September 2 2 hours ago, RobbieRuse said: It’s only been a week since I’ve read this and I don’t want to say “it works” like it’s some sort of trick or method or something. Since I’ve read this I now have been talking with a very loving and caring dom the past few days and even in the short time we’ve talked we both can see a potential future together ❤️ aww man, that's awesome news. Fingers crossed.
Ro**** Posted September 2 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: aww man, that's awesome news. Fingers crossed. Thanks! I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but she is amazing too. They make it feel effortless and I’m unbelievably happy
ey**** Posted September 3 7 hours ago, RobbieRuse said: Thanks! I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but she is amazing too. They make it feel effortless and I’m unbelievably happy nah man - it's not bragging. It's good for good news stories
li**** Posted October 5 September 2, RobbieRuse said: It’s only been a week since I’ve read this and I don’t want to say “it works” like it’s some sort of trick or method or something. Since I’ve read this I now have been talking with a very loving and caring dom the past few days and even in the short time we’ve talked we both can see a potential future together ❤️ Thank you so much for listening and congrats!
Jy**** Posted October 19 Wow This was really a very friendly and informative article for a newbie like me. Thanks!
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